Top 200 Andrew Solomon Quotes (2025 Update)
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151. “If you attach better services to a diagnostic category, some doctors will apply that diagnosis to children from whom it is not entirely appropriate in order to access those services.”

— Andrew Solomon

152. “I hope the Church will examine what is good and what is ill, and what good could be achieved by getting the suicidal, self-destructive, possibly carnal, or celibate to move toward this experience of love.”

— Andrew Solomon

153. “For some parents of children with horizontal identities, acceptance reaches its apogee when parents conclude that while they supposed they were pinioned by a great and catastrophic loss of hope, they were in fact falling in love with someone they didn’t yet know enough to want.”

— Andrew Solomon

154. “In depression, the meaninglessness of every enterprise and every emotion, the meaninglessness of life itself, becomes self-evident. The only feeling left in this loveless state is insignificance. Life.”

— Andrew Solomon

155. “You can exorcise the demons of schizophrenics who perceive that there’s something foreign inside them. But it’s much harder with depressed people because we believe we are seeing the truth. But the truth lies.”

— Andrew Solomon

156. “Life is fraught with sorrows: no matter what we do, we will in the end die; we are, each of us, held in the solitude of an autonomous body; time passes, and what has been will never be again.”

— Andrew Solomon

157. “I encounter a lot of prejudice and a lot of darkness. I have to negotiate constantly through situations that are uncomfortable or difficult or strange.”

— Andrew Solomon

158. “I was in fact anxious about whether I would be any good at being a father. And then I met so many people who had been good parents under difficult circumstances, and I felt inspired by them.”

— Andrew Solomon

159. “Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and no power is more absolute than parenthood.”

— Andrew Solomon

160. “There is no question that abuse, drugs and exposure to violence at home can exacerbate someone’s criminal tendencies enormously. But there are many, many criminals who don’t come from that background.”

— Andrew Solomon

161. “Religion is so focused on family. These days, for many people, being gay is also focused on family.”

— Andrew Solomon

162. “The monolithic problem of depression cannot be expressed with a monolithic response; depressions are contextual and must be interpreted within the contexts in which they occur.”

— Andrew Solomon

163. “I think an awful lot of the diplomatic problems that exist in the world come from people assuming that their society is the one with a purchase on truth.”

— Andrew Solomon

164. “I have two nexuses of sadness about the Mormon Church. The first is the effect the Church’s position on homosexuality has on Mormons.”

— Andrew Solomon

165. “It’s deeply humbling to realize that there is no such thing as a society with a purchase on truth.”

— Andrew Solomon

166. “Depression means that you have no point of view.”

— Andrew Solomon

167. “I don’t believe that there is anyone of faith whose faith would not be strengthened by those experiences of family.”

— Andrew Solomon

168. “The absence of marriages will result in all kinds of financial burdens that gay people wouldn’t face if they could get married.”

— Andrew Solomon

169. “The things that save you are as frequently trivial as monumental.”

— Andrew Solomon

170. “The parental predisposition to love prevails in the most harrowing of circumstances.”

— Andrew Solomon

171. “Is it depression when I think how I would prefer to go where they have gone, and to stop the maniacal struggle of staying alive? Or is it just a part of life, to keep living in all the ways we cannot stand?”

— Andrew Solomon

172. “I had always wanted to have children, so it caused me a lot of grief when I was younger, and I had supposed that gay people could not be parents.”

— Andrew Solomon

173. “A lot of people are very political when they are young, and then they outgrow it.”

— Andrew Solomon

174. “I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents.”

— Andrew Solomon

175. “Being gay is immutable.”

— Andrew Solomon

176. “Most people don’t like one another’s unhappiness very much. Few can cope with the idea of depression divorced from external reality. Many would prefer to think that if you’re suffering, it’s with reason and subject to logical resolution. A.”

— Andrew Solomon

177. “I had always thought of myself as fairly tough and fairly strong and fairly able to cope with anything. And then I had a series of personal losses. My mother died. A relationship that I was in came to end, and a variety of other things went awry.”

— Andrew Solomon

178. “Having anticipated the onward march of our selfish genes, many of us are unprepared for children who present unfamiliar needs. Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger, and the more alien the stranger, the stronger the whiff of negativity.”

— Andrew Solomon

179. “I think what the Church should ideally do, and does appear to do in the context of straight relationships, is to support people in crossing from the easier pleasure of momentary carnal satisfaction, into the more difficult pleasure of love and family and relationship.”

— Andrew Solomon

180. “If you stimulate seizures in an animal every day, the seizures eventually become automatic; the animal will go on having them once a day even if you withdraw the stimulation. In much the same way, the brain that has gone into depression a few times will continue to return to depression over and over. This suggests that depression, even if it is occasioned by external tragedy, ultimately changes the structure, as well as the biochemistry, of the brain.”

— Andrew Solomon

181. “I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good. I have turned, with an increasingly fine attention, to love. Love is the other way forward. They need to go together: by themselves pills are a weak poison, love a blunt knife, insight a rope that snaps under too much strain. With the lot of them, if you are lucky, you can save the tree from the vine.”

— Andrew Solomon

182. “The world changed, and the idea of having a family became feasible for homosexuals. But I was still left with the question as to what it would be like for a child to grow up with gay parents.”

— Andrew Solomon

183. “With children who have never said a word, parents tend to assume, for better or for worse, that there isn’t any language there.”

— Andrew Solomon

184. “When a church manipulates the law to say, “These people are lesser,” it takes a lot of resilience to hold your head up and say, “I am not lesser!” Some people can do it and some cannot; and some of those people who cannot will be destroyed.”

— Andrew Solomon

185. “We see people of kindness, compassion, and possibly even faith being told, “Because of a characteristic with which you were born, you are evil and bad.” Anything that even implies such a stance is profoundly toxic.”

— Andrew Solomon

186. “There is no life that does not have the material for despair in it, but some people go too close to the edge and others manage to stay sometimes sad in a safe clearing far from the cliffs.”

— Andrew Solomon

187. “Despair is part of love.”

— Andrew Solomon

188. “It is the sincere horror of it that gets others motivated, so say Watson and Andrews; the dysfunction caused by the onset of depression may serve a useful function in that it is “a device for the elicitation of altruism.”

— Andrew Solomon

189. “My goal is to stay safely in between self-analysis and self-destruction.”

— Andrew Solomon

190. “What to say? That I would have loved to make the trip but was busy staying out of the mental hospital? It’s so humiliating – so degrading. If I knew I wouldn’t get caught, I’d love to lie about it – invent an acceptable cancer, that recurs and vanishes, that people could understand – that wouldn’t make them frightened and uncomfortable.”

— Andrew Solomon

191. “I was overpowered by being in the world, by other people and their lives I couldn’t lead, their jobs I couldn’t do – overpowered even by jobs I would never want or need to do.”

— Andrew Solomon

192. “I grew up in a very rationalist household. My father, in particular, came from that mid-century tradition of thinking science will ultimately explain everything.”

— Andrew Solomon

193. “I understood that going where I would actually be foreign might distract people from the more intimate nature of my defining otherness.”

— Andrew Solomon

194. “In these xenophobic times, when politicians are stoking everyone’s anxiety about threats from abroad, I would argue that engaging with the rest of the world is not only a luxury, in the way that travel is, but actually a moral responsibility.”

— Andrew Solomon

195. “I went to Cambodia to be humbled by the pain of others, and I was humbled down to the ground.”

— Andrew Solomon

196. “I had known a couple of people who had died, but the loss of my mother contained something of the profoundly unknowable.”

— Andrew Solomon

197. “I didn’t particularly want to die but I also didn’t at all want to live.”

— Andrew Solomon

198. “There is a great deal of sin that comes from homosexuals who believe their homosexuality is a sin.”

— Andrew Solomon

199. “The thing that makes me really outraged, is the idea that the Mormon Church would presume to get involved in decisions that have little to do with Mormonism.”

— Andrew Solomon

200. “At the end of the day, will God be interested primarily in whether I have been kind and helped others, or in whether I was baptized and how?”

— Andrew Solomon