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Top 60 Ben Elton Quotes (2025 Update)
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Ben Elton Quote: “Time is not linear. It does not go along on a steady course like a road from London to York. It does not have a beginning and it does not have an end, nor is it the same to one person as it is to another, nor to two planets or a million stars. It is different in all circumstances. Because it is relative.”

51. “Time is not linear. It does not go along on a steady course like a road from London to York. It does not have a beginning and it does not have an end, nor is it the same to one person as it is to another, nor to two planets or a million stars. It is different in all circumstances. Because it is relative.”

Ben Elton Quote: “The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.”

52. “The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.”

Ben Elton Quote: “If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.”

53. “If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.”

54. “He had his own YouTube channel and a track available on iTunes. That sort of life profile carries a lot of cultural capital in a room full of middle-class white people in a permanent state of agony over their privilege.”

Ben Elton Quote: “I want to convict Samuel Pepys in a court of law,’ Cressida said, ’and I want that court to impose an appropriate, if theoretical, prison sentence on him.”

55. “I want to convict Samuel Pepys in a court of law,’ Cressida said, ’and I want that court to impose an appropriate, if theoretical, prison sentence on him.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Matlock knew he should understand what that meant. He knew he should be able to work out what ‘straight’ meant when referring to a woman who was biologically male. He took a guess.”

56. “Matlock knew he should understand what that meant. He knew he should be able to work out what ‘straight’ meant when referring to a woman who was biologically male. He took a guess.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Toby was rendered momentarily speechless. Was the minister out of his mind? Was this man seriously suggesting that political debate should return to the days of actual discussion of the issues? Was he literally raving tonto?”

57. “Toby was rendered momentarily speechless. Was the minister out of his mind? Was this man seriously suggesting that political debate should return to the days of actual discussion of the issues? Was he literally raving tonto?”

Ben Elton Quote: “Julian and his team of copy-writers had noted that the phrase ‘Lest we forget’ had so far been reserved for fallen soldiers. In minutes they had created a viral post accusing ‘crazed trans multi-cultural zealots’ of claiming that a dead transsexual was as much an English hero as the fighter pilots who had died during the Battle of Britain. Malika’s algorithms then swiftly sent the message to the people most likely to be annoyed by it.”

58. “Julian and his team of copy-writers had noted that the phrase ‘Lest we forget’ had so far been reserved for fallen soldiers. In minutes they had created a viral post accusing ‘crazed trans multi-cultural zealots’ of claiming that a dead transsexual was as much an English hero as the fighter pilots who had died during the Battle of Britain. Malika’s algorithms then swiftly sent the message to the people most likely to be annoyed by it.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Scarcely a year after Hitler had been handed power, something of what he had always claimed about the Jews had actually come to pass. He said they were different. And they had become different. He had accused them of being furtive and sneaky. And they had become furtive and sneaky. Covering up. Lying low. Watching the door. Hiding away. Survival rats. Constantly nervous, trying to blend in, avoiding people’s.”

59. “Scarcely a year after Hitler had been handed power, something of what he had always claimed about the Jews had actually come to pass. He said they were different. And they had become different. He had accused them of being furtive and sneaky. And they had become furtive and sneaky. Covering up. Lying low. Watching the door. Hiding away. Survival rats. Constantly nervous, trying to blend in, avoiding people’s.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Tears began to fall on the notes Frieda.”

60. “Tears began to fall on the notes Frieda.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Why do you still care about those people, Frieda?’ he asked. ‘Do they care about you?’ ‘Wolf, I’m a doctor. I do not require my commitment to be reciprocal.”

61. “Why do you still care about those people, Frieda?’ he asked. ‘Do they care about you?’ ‘Wolf, I’m a doctor. I do not require my commitment to be reciprocal.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Her brave crusade was, put simply, to “woke” up the past. She did not simply wish to consign sexism to history. She wanted to remove sexism from history.”

62. “Her brave crusade was, put simply, to “woke” up the past. She did not simply wish to consign sexism to history. She wanted to remove sexism from history.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Britain’s most talked-about and much-loved TV show was now linked irrevocably with the enablement of sexual abuse. Whether people agreed with that view or not was irrelevant.”

63. “Britain’s most talked-about and much-loved TV show was now linked irrevocably with the enablement of sexual abuse. Whether people agreed with that view or not was irrelevant.”

Ben Elton Quote: “She wondered if perhaps it was something to do with marking their territory. Like dripping on the floor.”

64. “She wondered if perhaps it was something to do with marking their territory. Like dripping on the floor.”

Ben Elton Quote: “In my experience, if you look people in the eye they usually mind their own business.”

65. “In my experience, if you look people in the eye they usually mind their own business.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Kaiser’s memorial church, along the Kantstrasse, where mobs of youths were starting.”

66. “Kaiser’s memorial church, along the Kantstrasse, where mobs of youths were starting.”

Ben Elton Quote: “I thought we’d done with that. Who’s the celebrity this time?’ ‘Samuel Pepys.”

67. “I thought we’d done with that. Who’s the celebrity this time?’ ‘Samuel Pepys.”

Ben Elton Quote: “Don’t you understand? We’re fighting an election here and the first rule is you can say anything you like, then deny you said it, then say it again.”

68. “Don’t you understand? We’re fighting an election here and the first rule is you can say anything you like, then deny you said it, then say it again.”

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