Top 500 Casey McQuiston Quotes (2024 Update)
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451. “Sorry I’m not motorboating an encyclopedia from 1927.”

— Casey McQuiston

452. “So is that what’s happening now?” Alex says, glaring down at Nora’s napkin bird. “Has he decided to finally shut me up by wooing my sister?” “Aw, little buddy,” Nora says. She reaches over and pats his hand. “It’s cute how you think everything is about you.”

— Casey McQuiston

453. “You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum.”

— Casey McQuiston

454. “Este beso es tan firme y tan enorme como el suelo que tiene bajo los pies, abarca todos los rincones de su ser, es muy capaz de dejarlo sin una gota de aire en los pulmones.”

— Casey McQuiston

455. “Which is how he ends up in his J. Crew best on a Saturday at the Greenwich Polo Club, wondering what the hell he’s gotten himself into. The woman in front of him is wearing a hat with an entire taxidermied pigeon on it. High school lacrosse did not prepare him for this kind of sporting event.”

— Casey McQuiston

456. “Hang on,′ Alex says. ‘Are we. Um. Are we asking the same thing?”

— Casey McQuiston

457. “Look. I don’t know. I don’t even exactly know, like, how being a legislator would work if I’m with a prince of another country. So, you know. There’s stuff to figure out. But way worse people with way bigger problems than me get elected all the time.”

— Casey McQuiston

458. “Are you angling for a revolutionary soldier role-play scenario? I must inform you, any trace of King George III blood I have would curdle one my very veins and render me useless to you.”

— Casey McQuiston

459. “What?” she says. “I want to be prepared for my first-ever royal wedding.” “You went to prom, didn’t you?” Alex says. “Just picture that, only in hell, and you have to be really nice about it.”

— Casey McQuiston

460. “It’s the fuckin’ subway, not the fuckin’ Notebook.”

— Casey McQuiston

461. “Jane es la primera persona que la ha hecho sentir alguna vez como John Cusack e Ione Skye a la vez.”

— Casey McQuiston

462. “You mean to tell me,” Alex half shouts, jogging to keep up, “every Thanksgiving, those stupid turkeys have been staying in a luxury suite at the Willard on the taxpayers’ dime?”

— Casey McQuiston

463. “I thought he was your friend,” Rory says. “Dixon is a guy I hang out with,” Smith tells him. “That’s not the same thing.”

— Casey McQuiston

464. “Oh, Alex thinks. “Oh,” Alex says.”

— Casey McQuiston

465. “Wait, honey,” she calls after him, “I had Planned Parenthood send over all these pamphlets, take one! They sent a bike messenger and everything!”

— Casey McQuiston

466. “She studies August’s face, and August can practically see that confidence meter of hers filling up, right to Smug Bastard, where it usually sits.”

— Casey McQuiston

467. “Maybe he can absorb some of the ‘much’ from the place where their shoulders are pressed together.”

— Casey McQuiston

468. “The skin is soft, probably exfoliated and moisturized daily by some royal manicurist.”

— Casey McQuiston

469. “You gotta put in a little more work to crack this egg, baby.”

— Casey McQuiston

470. “Have you ever notices I have never once approached you and have been exhaustively civil every time we’ve spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again.” He takes a sip of his champagne. “Simply an observation.”

— Casey McQuiston

471. “She still listens, and she tries, and she wants us to be happy. But I don’t know if she has it in her anymore to be a part of anyone’s happiness.”

— Casey McQuiston

472. “Hey, maybe you will,” she says, and she honest-to-god winks. August is going to take out a full-page ad in The Times to scream about it. The city needs to know.”

— Casey McQuiston

473. “Maybe, with Jane on the Q, it’s actually true. Maybe the Q is the answer. Maybe the Q is where August should start.”

— Casey McQuiston

474. “Have you met Henry?” Alex says. “How am I supposed to do that? He has the personality of a cabbage.”

— Casey McQuiston

475. “You really can’t write teenage characters the same way you write adults. There should be more room for them to be messy and get things wrong, because that’s what being a teenager is. They don’t need to have things figured out, or even be anywhere close.”

— Casey McQuiston

476. “Stop thinking.” “Yes. Gladly.”

— Casey McQuiston

477. “June, I’m the son of the President of the United States. Prince Henry is a figurehead of the British Empire. You can’t just call him my ‘archnemesis,‘” Alex says. He returns to his donut, chewing thoughtfully and adds, “‘Archnemesis’ implies he’s actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself.”

— Casey McQuiston

478. “Harangued Royal Highness.”

— Casey McQuiston

479. “This is the city where she got her heart broken. Nothing anchors a person to a place quite like that.”

— Casey McQuiston

480. “Henry who’s seen him in glasses and tolerates him at his most annoying and still kissed him like he wanted him, singularly, not the idea of him.”

— Casey McQuiston

481. “Her whole life, the gnaw of anxiety has made people opaque to her. No matter how well she knows someone, no matter the logical patterns, no matter how many allowances she knows someone might make for her – that bone-deep fear of rejection has always made it impossible for her to see any of it. It frosts over the glass. She never had anyone to begin with, so she let it be unsurprising that nobody would want to have her around.”

— Casey McQuiston

482. “You’re from Boston, Hunter. You really want to talk about all the places bigotry comes from?”

— Casey McQuiston

483. “No booty calls,′ Alex tells him, and Henry chokes on a laugh.”

— Casey McQuiston

484. “August has the sexual prowess of a goldfish and the emotional vocabulary to match.”

— Casey McQuiston

485. “She throws herself down the subway stairs, races to the platform, and there, somehow in perfect alignment with the universe, is the Q waiting for her with doors open. She lunges onto the train as they slide shut. Momentum carries her across the aisle, and she smacks into the opposite side of the car, startling a drunk couple so much, they nearly drop their takeout. To her right, a voice says, “Hell of an entrance, Coffee Girl.”

— Casey McQuiston

486. “Still kissed him like he wanted him, singularly, not the idea of him.”

— Casey McQuiston

487. “Come on,” Myla says. “Joy Division? Everyone who’s ever been within sniffing distance of a clove cigarette knows Joy Division.”

— Casey McQuiston

488. “If the girl’s going to end up with a dude who’s a monster,” Chloe says, “it needs to be – ” “Phantom,” Georgia finishes for her as they head outside, because she’s heard it five hundred thousand times. “Monster on the outside, but on the inside, he cares about her career goals!” Chloe says. “Call me old-fashioned, but a man’s place is in the basement, preparing vocal exercises for his more talented wife.”

— Casey McQuiston

489. “I’ve been trying to be happy my entire idiot life.”

— Casey McQuiston

490. “Oh my God. I’m in love with a monster turducken.”

— Casey McQuiston

491. “But way worse people with way bigger problems than me get elected all the time.”

— Casey McQuiston

492. “New York takes from her, sometimes. But she takes too. She takes its muggy air in fistfuls, and she packs it into the cracks in her heart.”

— Casey McQuiston

493. “He didn’t realize how terrified he was of her knowing until the fear is gone.”

— Casey McQuiston

494. “So, if she’s the only one in the class of ’22 who’s really out for now, if her existence can provide cover for half her graduating class to stand up for something without saying things about themselves they can’t yet say, that’s enough. That’s plenty.”

— Casey McQuiston

495. “Ellen sighs and looks over at Leo. “I did that, didn’t I? No goddamn manners. Like a couple of little opossums. This is why they say women can’t have it all.”

— Casey McQuiston

496. “She goes through the cards again and again, reading over Shara’s handwriting, which she’s come to know with a kind of intimacy that makes her want to lie down in the ditch behind her house and forget she even knew there were girls like Shara Wheeler.”

— Casey McQuiston

497. “The president is sitting down with as many member of the Office of Communications as we could drag out of bed at three in the morning,” Zahra tells him, ignoring his question. The phone is buzzing none stop in her hand. “It’s about to be gay DEFCON five in this administration. For god’s sake, put some clothes on.”

— Casey McQuiston

498. “Alex paces the solarium and listens to Henry talk, stories about a man with Henry’s same sandy hair and strong, straight nose, someone Alex has met in shadows that pass through the way Henry speaks and moves and laughs.”

— Casey McQuiston

499. “Why do you even have staff?” Alex says. “Nobody has ever tried to stop me from walking straight in here.”

— Casey McQuiston

500. “I think it’s amazing,” Nora says. “Sworn enemies forced to make peace to settle tensions between their countries? There’s something totally Shakespearean about it.”

— Casey McQuiston