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Top 70 Charles Portis Quotes (2025 Update)
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Charles Portis Quote: “I robbed one of them little high-interest banks there. Thought I was doing a good service. You can’t rob a thief, can you? I never robbed no citizens. I never taken a man’s watch.” “It is all stealing,” said I. “That was the position they taken in New Mexico,” said he.”

51. “I robbed one of them little high-interest banks there. Thought I was doing a good service. You can’t rob a thief, can you? I never robbed no citizens. I never taken a man’s watch.” “It is all stealing,” said I. “That was the position they taken in New Mexico,” said he.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “You can expect that out of Federal people and to make it worse this was a Republican gang that cared nothing for the opinion of the good people of Arkansas who are Democrats.”

52. “You can expect that out of Federal people and to make it worse this was a Republican gang that cared nothing for the opinion of the good people of Arkansas who are Democrats.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “People do not give it credence that a fourteen-year-old girl could leave home and go off in the wintertime to avenge her father’s blood but it did not seem so strange then, although I will say it did not happen every day.”

53. “People do not give it credence that a fourteen-year-old girl could leave home and go off in the wintertime to avenge her father’s blood but it did not seem so strange then, although I will say it did not happen every day.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “I wonder if you really love me. Do you?” “Yeah.” “Do you think you can say it?” “I will sometime. Not on the bus.” “You don’t mind saying it in a song, why can’t you say it talking?” “A song is different. You’re just singing a song there.” “It’s not hard for people who really mean it to say it.” “It is if somebody’s trying to make you say it. When somebody gets your arm around behind you and wants to make you say ‘calf rope,’ well, you don’t want to say it then.”

54. “I wonder if you really love me. Do you?” “Yeah.” “Do you think you can say it?” “I will sometime. Not on the bus.” “You don’t mind saying it in a song, why can’t you say it talking?” “A song is different. You’re just singing a song there.” “It’s not hard for people who really mean it to say it.” “It is if somebody’s trying to make you say it. When somebody gets your arm around behind you and wants to make you say ‘calf rope,’ well, you don’t want to say it then.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Being a facetious person I got no credit for any depth of feeling.”

55. “Being a facetious person I got no credit for any depth of feeling.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Nature tells us to rest after meals and people who are too busy to heed that inner voice are often dead at the age of fifty years.”

56. “Nature tells us to rest after meals and people who are too busy to heed that inner voice are often dead at the age of fifty years.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Watch it now. You’re taking liberties. Don’t make things any worse than they are. Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash, son.”

57. “Watch it now. You’re taking liberties. Don’t make things any worse than they are. Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash, son.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “I ordered a glass of beer and arranged my coins before me on the bar in columns according to value. When the beer came, I dipped a finger in it and wet down each corner of the paper napkin to anchor it, so it would not come up with the mug each time and make me appear ridiculous. I drank from the side of the mug that a left-handed person would use, in the belief that fewer mouths had been on that side.”

58. “I ordered a glass of beer and arranged my coins before me on the bar in columns according to value. When the beer came, I dipped a finger in it and wet down each corner of the paper napkin to anchor it, so it would not come up with the mug each time and make me appear ridiculous. I drank from the side of the mug that a left-handed person would use, in the belief that fewer mouths had been on that side.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Not even my food was safe. She ate very little, in fact, but if some attractive morsel on my plate happened to catch her eye she would spear it and eat it in a flash without acknowledging that she had done anything out of the way. She knew I didn’t like that. I didn’t tamper with her plate and she knew I didn’t like her tampering with my plate. If the individual place setting means no more than that, then it is all a poor joke and you might as well have a trough and be done with it.”

59. “Not even my food was safe. She ate very little, in fact, but if some attractive morsel on my plate happened to catch her eye she would spear it and eat it in a flash without acknowledging that she had done anything out of the way. She knew I didn’t like that. I didn’t tamper with her plate and she knew I didn’t like her tampering with my plate. If the individual place setting means no more than that, then it is all a poor joke and you might as well have a trough and be done with it.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Mrs. Whichcoat came in the back door with an empty wire basket. She hung it up in the pantry and took off her brown garden gloves. “All the hens have stopped laying,” she said. “I didn’t get one egg.” There was a note of despair in her voice but no surprise. It was as though she had warned all along that there would be treachery one day in the hen house.”

60. “Mrs. Whichcoat came in the back door with an empty wire basket. She hung it up in the pantry and took off her brown garden gloves. “All the hens have stopped laying,” she said. “I didn’t get one egg.” There was a note of despair in her voice but no surprise. It was as though she had warned all along that there would be treachery one day in the hen house.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Get crossways of me, LaBoeuf, and you will think a thousand brick has fell on you.”

61. “Get crossways of me, LaBoeuf, and you will think a thousand brick has fell on you.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “I tried not to show much interest in his story after the way he had dozed while I was telling mine. It didn’t matter, because he paid no attention to other people anyway. He spoke conversational English to all the Mexicans along the way and never seemed to notice that they couldn’t understand a word he said.”

62. “I tried not to show much interest in his story after the way he had dozed while I was telling mine. It didn’t matter, because he paid no attention to other people anyway. He spoke conversational English to all the Mexicans along the way and never seemed to notice that they couldn’t understand a word he said.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Fogelson abused us like a stepfather.”

63. “Fogelson abused us like a stepfather.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “I’ll go further and say all cats are wicked, though often useful. Who has not seen Satan in their sly faces?”

64. “I’ll go further and say all cats are wicked, though often useful. Who has not seen Satan in their sly faces?”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “I remember once I rode a mean goat through a plum thicket on a dare.”

65. “I remember once I rode a mean goat through a plum thicket on a dare.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Yes, but that was the way she wanted to do it. And furthermore she didn’t want him going out there with her now. Three exclamation marks appeared over Norwood’s head. No, her mind was made up.”

66. “Yes, but that was the way she wanted to do it. And furthermore she didn’t want him going out there with her now. Three exclamation marks appeared over Norwood’s head. No, her mind was made up.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “The news came like a thunderclap.”

67. “The news came like a thunderclap.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “To the best of my knowledge he had never even voted, and then someone must have told him something about politics, some convincing lie, or he read something – it’s usually one or the other – and he stopped being funny and turned mean and silent. That wasn’t so bad, but then he stopped being silent.”

68. “To the best of my knowledge he had never even voted, and then someone must have told him something about politics, some convincing lie, or he read something – it’s usually one or the other – and he stopped being funny and turned mean and silent. That wasn’t so bad, but then he stopped being silent.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “I like chickens,” said Norwood. “You can go in a chicken house at night and they’re all sitting there on them poles facing the front like they was riding an elevator.”

69. “I like chickens,” said Norwood. “You can go in a chicken house at night and they’re all sitting there on them poles facing the front like they was riding an elevator.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “A less sensitive horse was found to serve.”

70. “A less sensitive horse was found to serve.”

— Charles Portis

Charles Portis Quote: “Little did Papa realize that morning that he was never to see us or hold us again, nor would he ever again harken to the meadowlarks of Yell County trilling a joyous anthem to spring.”

71. “Little did Papa realize that morning that he was never to see us or hold us again, nor would he ever again harken to the meadowlarks of Yell County trilling a joyous anthem to spring.”

— Charles Portis

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