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Top 180 Chris Voss Quotes (2024 Update)
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Chris Voss Quote: “Your goal at the outset is to extract and observe as much information as possible. Which, by the way, is one of the reasons that really smart people often have trouble being negotiators – they’re so smart they think they don’t have anything to discover. Too.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Yes,” as I always say, is nothing without “How?”
Chris Voss Quote: “Unbelief is the friction that keeps persuasion in check,” Dutton says. “Without it, there’d be no limits.” Giving your counterpart the illusion of control by asking calibrated questions – by asking for help – is one of the most powerful tools for suspending unbelief.”
Chris Voss Quote: “What I am saying is that while our decisions may be largely irrational, that doesn’t mean there aren’t consistent patterns, principles, and rules behind how we act. And once you know those mental patterns, you start to see ways to influence them.”
Chris Voss Quote: “That’s why, instead of denying or ignoring emotions, good negotiators identify and influence them. They are able to precisely label emotions, those of others and especially their own. And once they label the emotions they talk about them without getting wound up. For them, emotion is a tool. Emotions.”
Chris Voss Quote: “But then I realized I did the same thing with my teenage son, and that after I’d said “No” to him, I often found that I was open to hearing what he had to say. That’s because having protected myself, I could relax and more easily consider the possibilities.”
Chris Voss Quote: “But let me cut the list even further: it’s best to start with “what,” “how,” and sometimes “why.”
Chris Voss Quote: “No matter how much research our team has done prior to the interaction, we always ask ourselves, “Why are they communicating what they are communicating right now?”
Chris Voss Quote: “I’ve spent a lot of time talking about the psychological judo that I’ve made my stock in trade: the calibrated questions, the mirrors, the tools for knocking my counterpart off his game and getting him to bid against himself.”
Chris Voss Quote: “This really juices their self-esteem. Researchers have found that people getting concessions often feel better about the bargaining process than those who are given a single firm, “fair” offer. In fact, they feel better even when they end up paying more – or receiving less – than they otherwise might.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Finding and acting on Black Swans mandates a shift in your mindset.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Let’s pause for a minute here, because there’s one vitally important thing you have to remember when you enter a negotiation armed with your list of calibrated questions. That is, all of this is great, but there’s a rub: without self-control and emotional regulation, it doesn’t work. The very first thing I talk about when I’m training new negotiators is the critical importance of self-control. If you can’t control your own emotions, how can you expect to influence the emotions of another party?”
Chris Voss Quote: “A trap into which many fall is to take what other people say literally. I started to see that while people played the game of conversation, it was in the game beneath the game, where few played, that all the leverage lived.”
Chris Voss Quote: “And being “nice” in the form of feigned sympathy is often equally as unsuccessful. We live in an age that celebrates niceness under various names. We are exhorted to be nice and to respect people’s feelings at all times and in every situation. But nice alone in the context of negotiation can backfire. Nice, employed as a ruse, is disingenuous and manipulative.”
Chris Voss Quote: “And every time we got the worst possible answer – “You’re right.” He agreed, in theory, but he didn’t own the conclusion.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Let me let you in on a secret: people never even notice.”
Chris Voss Quote: “For anger to be effective, it has to be real, the key for it is to be under control because anger also reduces our cognitive ability. And.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Our techniques were the products of experiential learning; they were developed by agents in the field, negotiating through crisis and sharing stories of what succeeded and what failed. It was an iterative process, not an intellectual one, as we refined the tools we used day after day.”
Chris Voss Quote: “SECTION II: SUMMARY Summarize and write out in just a couple of sentences the known facts that have led up to the negotiation.”
Chris Voss Quote: “If you feel you can’t say “No” then you’ve taken yourself hostage.”
Chris Voss Quote: “The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and techniques for hostage negotiations.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Now, think about how my client’s question worked: without accusing them of anything, it pushed the big company to understand her problem and offer the solution she wanted. That in a nutshell is the whole point of open-ended questions that are calibrated for a specific effect.”
Chris Voss Quote: “But neither wants nor needs are where we start; it begins with listening, making it about the other people, validating their emotions, and creating enough trust and safety for a real conversation to begin. We.”
Chris Voss Quote: “In a recent study,4 Columbia Business School psychologists found that job applicants who named a range received significantly higher overall salaries than those who offered a number, especially if their range was a “bolstering range,” in which the low number in the range was what they actually wanted.”
Chris Voss Quote: “If you were able to take an armed kidnapper who’d been surrounded by police and hook him up to a cardiac monitor, you’d find that every calibrated question and apology would lower his heart rate just a little bit. And that’s how you get to a dynamic where solutions can be found.”
Chris Voss Quote: “What could they give that would almost get us to do it for free?”
Chris Voss Quote: “Why are they communicating what they are communicating right now?”
Chris Voss Quote: “Still, I wanted to bring this opportunity to you before I took it to someone else,” I said.”
Chris Voss Quote: “In practice, where our irrational perceptions are our reality, loss and gain are slippery notions, and it often doesn’t matter what leverage actually exists against you; what really matters is the leverage they think you have on them.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Prepare an Ackerman plan. Before you head into the weeds of bargaining, you’ll need a plan of extreme anchor, calibrated questions, and well-defined offers. Remember: 65, 85, 95, 100 percent. Decreasing raises and ending on nonround numbers will get your counterpart to believe that he’s squeezing you for all you’re worth when you’re really getting to the number you want.”
Chris Voss Quote: “I got a lousy proposition for you,” I said, and paused until each asked me to go on. “By the time we get off the phone, you’re going to think I’m a lousy businessman. You’re going to think I can’t budget or plan. You’re going to think Chris Voss is a big talker. His first big project ever out of the FBI, he screws it up completely. He doesn’t know how to run an operation. And he might even have lied to me.”
Chris Voss Quote: “How does this affect the rest of your team? How on board are the people not on this call? What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in this area?”
Chris Voss Quote: “It’s a “how” question, and “how” engages because “how” asks for help. Best of all, he doesn’t owe the kidnapper a damn thing. The guy volunteers to put the girlfriend on the phone: he thinks it’s his idea. The guy who just offered to put the girlfriend on the line thinks he’s in control. And the secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control.”
Chris Voss Quote: “If you can’t control your own emotions, how can you expect to influence the emotions of another party?”
Chris Voss Quote: “How will we know we’re on track?” and “How will we address things if we find we’re off track?” When they answer, you summarize their answers until you get a “That’s right.” Then you’ll know they’ve bought in.”
Chris Voss Quote: “People who view negotiation as a battle of arguments become overwhelmed by the voices in their head. Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible.”
Chris Voss Quote: “No” is the start of the negotiation, not the end of it.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Playing dumb is a valid negotiating technique, and.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Never be mean to someone who can hurt you by doing nothing.”
Chris Voss Quote: “The clear point here is that people operating with incomplete information appear crazy to those who have different information.”
Chris Voss Quote: “To make my point on compromise, let me paint you an example: A woman wants her husband to wear black shoes with his suit. But her husband doesn’t want to; he prefers brown shoes. So what do they do? They compromise, they meet halfway. And, you guessed it, he wears one black and one brown shoe. Is this the best outcome? No! In fact, that’s the worst possible outcome. Either of the two other outcomes – black or brown – would be better than the compromise.”
Chris Voss Quote: “In every negotiation there are between three and five pieces of information that, were they to be uncovered, would change everything. The concept is an absolute game-changer; so much so, I’ve named my company The Black Swan Group. In this chapter, you’ll learn how to recognize the markers that show the Black Swan’s hidden nest, as well as simple tools for employing Black Swans to gain leverage over your counterpart and achieve truly amazing deals.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Too often people find it easier just to stick with what they believe. Using what they’ve heard or their own biases, they often make assumptions about others even before meeting them. They even ignore their own perceptions to make them conform to foregone conclusions. These assumptions muck up our perceptual windows onto the world, showing us an unchanging – often flawed – version of the situation.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Talking slowly and clearly you convey one idea: I’m in control.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Negotiation is the heart of collaboration. It is what makes conflict potentially meaningful and productive for all parties.”
Chris Voss Quote: “In two famous studies on what makes us like or dislike somebody,1 UCLA psychology professor Albert Mehrabian created the 7-38-55 rule. That is, only 7 percent of a message is based on the words while 38 percent comes from the tone of voice and 55 percent from the speaker’s body language and face.”
Chris Voss Quote: “Blunt assertion is actually counterproductive most of the time.”
Chris Voss Quote: “But when someone displays a passion for what we’ve always wanted and conveys a purposeful plan of how to get there, we allow our perceptions of what’s possible to change. We’re all hungry for a map to joy, and when someone is courageous enough to draw it for us, we naturally follow.”
Chris Voss Quote: “The F-word – “Fair” – is an emotional term people usually exploit to put the other side on the defensive and gain concessions. When your counterpart drops the F-bomb, don’t get suckered into a concession. Instead, ask them to explain how you’re mistreating them.”
Chris Voss Quote: “People generally fear conflict, so they avoid useful arguments out of fear that the tone will escalate into personal attacks they cannot handle. People in close relationships often avoid making their own interests known and instead compromise across the board to avoid being perceived as greedy or self-interested. They fold, they grow bitter, and they grow apart. We’ve all heard of marriages that ended in divorce and the couple never fought.”
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