Top 80 David Walliams Quotes (2024 Update)
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David Walliams Quote: “The Frog Prince The princess kisses the frog and contracts a waterborne disease that makes her bottom explode.”

51. “The Frog Prince The princess kisses the frog and contracts a waterborne disease that makes her bottom explode.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I haven’t traditionally been a family entertainer.”

52. “I haven’t traditionally been a family entertainer.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “But children nowadays don’t believe in magic. They are forever watching TV and playing computer games. They never look to the skies any more.”

53. “But children nowadays don’t believe in magic. They are forever watching TV and playing computer games. They never look to the skies any more.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I don’t know what I’ll be like when I’m 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.”

54. “I don’t know what I’ll be like when I’m 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I don’t have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.”

55. “I don’t have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.”

56. “TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I am a huge fan of ‘Doctor Who.’”

57. “I am a huge fan of ‘Doctor Who.’”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Social satire has been around since people have been around.”

58. “Social satire has been around since people have been around.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Plank to base. I require urgent backup. Repeat. Urgent backup. Am knackered. Repeat. Knackered. And can you pick me up a bag of ready salted crisps on the way? Repeat. Ready salted crisps. Urgent. Over.”

59. “Plank to base. I require urgent backup. Repeat. Urgent backup. Am knackered. Repeat. Knackered. And can you pick me up a bag of ready salted crisps on the way? Repeat. Ready salted crisps. Urgent. Over.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I can’t see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism.”

60. “I can’t see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Brain of Britain!” “If.”

61. “Brain of Britain!” “If.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I know somebody from university who’s called Phil Collins and I think there’s something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name With somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.”

62. “I know somebody from university who’s called Phil Collins and I think there’s something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name With somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “We sort of expect to see men in women’s clothes. It’s part of our culture. The key thing is, it has to be done quite badly.”

63. “We sort of expect to see men in women’s clothes. It’s part of our culture. The key thing is, it has to be done quite badly.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Another time Stella heard the two of them splashing around in the bath together. It wasn’t natural, it wasn’t right, and it definitely couldn’t be hygienic. Especially not for the owl.”

64. “Another time Stella heard the two of them splashing around in the bath together. It wasn’t natural, it wasn’t right, and it definitely couldn’t be hygienic. Especially not for the owl.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “When you are doing endurance swimming you just need to take in as many carbs as possible to put on as much weight as you can. Basically you can eat whatever you want, which can be quite fun. Everything is guilt-free.”

65. “When you are doing endurance swimming you just need to take in as many carbs as possible to put on as much weight as you can. Basically you can eat whatever you want, which can be quite fun. Everything is guilt-free.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I’ve done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you’re recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with ‘Britain’s Got Talent,’ you’re on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching – and in between you’re being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch.”

66. “I’ve done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you’re recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with ‘Britain’s Got Talent,’ you’re on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching – and in between you’re being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I don’t get recognized much, and am very happy with that. The fans I have met have all been delightful.”

67. “I don’t get recognized much, and am very happy with that. The fans I have met have all been delightful.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Oh, I love this one. It’s absolutely beautiful!” she cooed. “And you are beautiful for delivering it to me.” Tom looked to the porter. The boy imagined the man had never been called beautiful before. “Did.”

68. “Oh, I love this one. It’s absolutely beautiful!” she cooed. “And you are beautiful for delivering it to me.” Tom looked to the porter. The boy imagined the man had never been called beautiful before. “Did.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “It was very exciting to see Alan Sugar, so I think I’ve peaked with excitement for the evening, because I’m a massive Apprentice fan.”

69. “It was very exciting to see Alan Sugar, so I think I’ve peaked with excitement for the evening, because I’m a massive Apprentice fan.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I’d say a food mixer. I’ve never used it, I don’t really know what they’re for.”

70. “The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I’d say a food mixer. I’ve never used it, I don’t really know what they’re for.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I have always liked shows that have laughter in them.”

71. “I have always liked shows that have laughter in them.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Alberta thought for a moment, and took a live mouse out of her pocket by its tail before dropping it into Wagner’s mouth. The bird wolfed the unfortunate creature whole.”

72. “Alberta thought for a moment, and took a live mouse out of her pocket by its tail before dropping it into Wagner’s mouth. The bird wolfed the unfortunate creature whole.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it.”

73. “I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “That night Jack lay in bed, in the place just between awake and asleep. The room was beginning to disappear to make way for the world of dreams.”

74. “That night Jack lay in bed, in the place just between awake and asleep. The room was beginning to disappear to make way for the world of dreams.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I’ve just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.”

75. “I’ve just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I would recommend that anyone who wants to do comedy on TV to do radio first.”

76. “I would recommend that anyone who wants to do comedy on TV to do radio first.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Now, you get on this here moped at once!” The.”

77. “Now, you get on this here moped at once!” The.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “But as ever in life, wherever there is tragedy, you can often find comedy.”

78. “But as ever in life, wherever there is tragedy, you can often find comedy.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.”

79. “We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “United Kingdom.”

80. “United Kingdom.”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “Ben, haven’t you always wanted to dress up as a pretty little princess?”

81. “Ben, haven’t you always wanted to dress up as a pretty little princess?”

— David Walliams

David Walliams Quote: “I was thinking of retiring after tonight,” he replied. “Retiring? This is just the beginning. Tonight, a ballroom legend will be born!” It’s official! thought Ben. My mum is bonkers!”

82. “I was thinking of retiring after tonight,” he replied. “Retiring? This is just the beginning. Tonight, a ballroom legend will be born!” It’s official! thought Ben. My mum is bonkers!”

— David Walliams

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