Top 180 Denis Leary Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.”

— Denis Leary

52. “Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them.”

— Denis Leary

53. “I have a lot of conservative views on a lot of things.”

— Denis Leary

54. “Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.”

— Denis Leary

55. “It’s important to have your own space. I’ve never trusted people who do everything together. I call them “Kool-Aid Couples,” because it’s like they drank the same Kool-Aid and it’s drugged them into constantly gazing into each other’s eyes.”

— Denis Leary

56. “No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They’re always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about.”

— Denis Leary

57. “I’m a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.”

— Denis Leary

58. “Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever.”

— Denis Leary

59. “I’ve eaten things that didn’t complain this much.”

— Denis Leary

60. “If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it’s the NHL’s fault.”

— Denis Leary

61. “Coffee doesn’t need a menu, it needs a cup. That’s all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup – that’s it.”

— Denis Leary

62. “I’m a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence.”

— Denis Leary

63. “My nieces and my nephews think the only thing that I do is ‘Ice Age.’ That’s fine with me because pretty soon they’ll grow up enough to realize that I suck or that my time has passed, whichever it might be.”

— Denis Leary

64. “I’m praying for ‘Ice Age’ 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Because I really think we can run those characters into the ’60s, and I’m talking the 1960s, you know? The Civil Rights Movement. That’s what I’m praying for, because then I wouldn’t have to do anything else.”

— Denis Leary

65. “George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live.”

— Denis Leary

66. “I’m a huge Kevin Youkilis fan.”

— Denis Leary

67. “I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don’t get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn’t, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It’s part of the territory.”

— Denis Leary

68. “People are disappointed that you aren’t exactly who they thought you were, as opposed to somebody who’s just walking around trying to get some laundry done.”

— Denis Leary

69. “Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.”

— Denis Leary

70. “I wanted a more female point of view.”

— Denis Leary

71. “Firefighters don’t go on strike.”

— Denis Leary

72. “I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better.”

— Denis Leary

73. “Sometimes ‘great acting’ is just showing off – chewing up scenery and dialogue and other actors – the equivalent of a theatrical sugar rush.”

— Denis Leary

74. “Youth is NOT wasted on the young. That’s why they can party all night and still find their cell phones in the morning.”

— Denis Leary

75. “I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. “What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?” Broccoli’s a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.”

— Denis Leary

76. “Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where’s the problem? That’s an unemployment solution right there, folks! It’s called natural selection.”

— Denis Leary

77. “The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them.”

— Denis Leary

78. “First of all, I have to have trucks because I live most of my time on a horse farm, so I’ve gotta have trucks. It’s in the northeast; I’ve got to have pickup trucks to move snow, number one. Number two, just if I’m driving, I don’t have to have an SUV, but I want a big car.”

— Denis Leary

79. “Sin is in, and so we begin...”

— Denis Leary

80. “My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in.”

— Denis Leary

81. “I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That’s not why they invented daycare.”

— Denis Leary

82. “Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who’s old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?”

— Denis Leary

83. “We drink and we die and continue to drink.”

— Denis Leary

84. “The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he’s still as funny as he’s ever been, and he’s still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I’ll still be able to work.”

— Denis Leary

85. “My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don’t think he ever missed a hockey game I was in.”

— Denis Leary

86. “I don’t want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy.”

— Denis Leary

87. “The first movie I saw where it convinced me I could be an actor was ‘Mean Streets,’ so whenever I see Robert De Niro and he says, ‘Hi, Denis,’ it’s still a really big deal.”

— Denis Leary

88. “I can’t text. My fingers are too big.”

— Denis Leary

89. “My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come to New York.”

— Denis Leary

90. “I studied acting in school and then, of course, couldn’t get an acting job.”

— Denis Leary

91. “If you’re over 52 years old and you’re on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.”

— Denis Leary

92. “I didn’t raise my kids with the fear of God.”

— Denis Leary

93. “Charlotte Rampling, when she was younger, looked exactly like my wife. That’s one of the reasons that when I first saw my wife, my knees buckled. Based on her looks alone, she was already in my kitchen making eggs.”

— Denis Leary

94. “The Social Wishlist on Facebook is a great example of everything right about social media.”

— Denis Leary

95. “Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That’s the important thing.”

— Denis Leary

96. “I’d love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I’d also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won’t let me do it.”

— Denis Leary

97. “Rosemary Rodriguez directed on Rescue Me for us, and I love her. She’s fantastic with actresses and she’s got a great sense of humor. That was a huge thing for me.”

— Denis Leary

98. “I actually like talking.”

— Denis Leary

99. “I like Jesus, I mean, I think he was a good guy.”

— Denis Leary

100. “How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.”

— Denis Leary