Top 250 Diana Wynne Jones Quotes (2026 Update)
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201. “She read a great deal, and very soon realized how little chance she had of an interesting future.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

202. “In a way it was worth it, she thought, except that it was such a total waste.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

203. “And the scarecrow went soaring away. Up and backward it went, rags fluttering, arms wheeling in protest, up and out, and on and on, until it was a soaring speck in the sky, then a vanishing point in the clouds, and then not to be seen at all.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

204. “Sophie,” Michael said in a voice of doom.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

205. “If you annoy me, watch out! I shall put you in a book as a baddie and then make people laugh at you.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

206. “Seeing Seb’s jeering face, it came to her that Seb had always loved her the way most people bear a grudge.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

207. “Odeio os infelizes – disse Calcifer. – Eles pingam em mim. Prefiro os furiosos.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

208. “Janet had an odd air of being dressed up, rather than dressed.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

209. “But what call has he to be walking around in a charmed suit?”

— Diana Wynne Jones

210. “People with nine lives are very important and very rare. They only happen when, for one reason or another, there are no counterparts of them living in any other world. Then the lives that would have been spread out over a whole set of worlds get concentrated in one person. And so do all the talents that those other eight people might have had.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

211. “Somewhere in the lane after that they came level with a small door next to a fried chicken shop. There was a small red-lit sign over this door.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

212. “Sophie scrubbed on vigorously. “You’ll be much happier when it’s all nice and clean,” she said. “But I’m miserable now!” Michael protested.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

213. “As an old woman, she did not mind what she did or said. She found that a great relief.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

214. “These,” Hern said, “are the bodies of two kings. They were killed in senseless hatred, when both had lost nearly all they had. Someone is coming up the River who knows of this, and it pleases him very much. This will make it easy for him to suck out our souls, and the soul of this land, and rule us as his slaves.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

215. “I thank you for giving me ten times my former speed.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

216. “She realized Howl was going out then. “You’ll make your cold worse,” she said. “I shall die and then you’ll all be sorry,” the red-bearded man said, and went out through the door with the knob green-down.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

217. “Sophie did not care to think how Howl might react if Fanny woke him by stabbing him with her parasol. “No, no!” she said. “Howl has been very kind to me.” And this was true, Sophie realized. Howl showed his kindness rather strangely, but, considering all Sophie had done to annoy him, he had been very good to her indeed.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

218. “Charles liked poetry because the lines were so short. You could think your own thoughts in the spaces around the print.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

219. “I feel ill. I’m going to bed, where I may die. – Howl.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

220. “I was meaning to be kind to you this evening, but you make it very difficult.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

221. “It seems that Fate has decreed that I live through my entire daydream in reality!”

— Diana Wynne Jones

222. “If you stood up and told the truth in the wrong way, it was not true any longer, though it might be as powerful as ever.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

223. “Where’s school?” he shrieked at her. “I’m missing cricket practice!” For half an hour after that the hospital was in total confusion, while everyone tried to catch a five-foot corpse clothed mostly in a flying sheet, which raced up and down the corridors shrieking that it was missing cricket practice.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

224. “That can go in the cabinet, and so can this One Ring. No, don’t put it on, you fool! It’s dangerous!”

— Diana Wynne Jones

225. “When your surname is Smith, you need to make very sure everyone knows just which Smith you are.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

226. “But her eyes were blue and full of anxieties, and her hair was darkish.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

227. “All I wanted to do was sit down and read a book, she thought, and I come home to a flood!”

— Diana Wynne Jones

228. “I may be clever, she thought, quite sadly, but I’m not in the least kind or sympathetic.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

229. “We can’t all be Mad Hatters,” said Howl.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

230. “Oh, how your ears flap and your long nose twitches!”

— Diana Wynne Jones

231. “Then the geese replaced themselves with six pigs and vanished.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

232. “I love Wales, but it doesn’t love me.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

233. “You can’t be fussy when you’re off to seek your fortune.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

234. “I’m a coward. Only way I can do something this frighteningly is to tell myself I’m not doing it!”

— Diana Wynne Jones

235. “Nobody’s safe in a wizard’s house,” Calcifer said feelingly.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

236. “You’ll be the death of me! You’re as heartless as Howl!” Calcifer choked.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

237. “His bedroom door did escape him. “What a lie that was!” Howl remarked as he walked into the wall. “My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.” He walked into the wall several times more, in several different places, before he discovered his bedroom door and crashed his way through it. Sophie could hear him falling about, saying that his bed was dodging.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

238. “It’s silly to let the bad things come out on top! The good, happy things are just as important. They just don’t seem to last. You want to catch them at their best and keep them if you can.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

239. “I’ve never seen why people put such value on things being natural,” Howl said, and Sophie knew then that he was scarcely changed at all.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

240. “You can’t alter the past. The only thing you can alter is the future. People write stories pretending you can alter the past, but it can’t be done. All you can do to the past is remember it wrong or interpret it differently, and that’s no good to us.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

241. “Howl conjured another wad of handkerchiefs and glowered at Sophie over them out of eyes that were now red-rimmed and watery. Then he stood up. ‘I feel ill,’ he announced. ‘I’m going to bed, where I may die.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

242. “I don’t know, Your Majesty. He’s a mess.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

243. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that the Devil, however he appears, is never a perfect gentleman?”

— Diana Wynne Jones

244. “I hope your bacon burns,” Calcifer said, muffled under the pan.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

245. “Don’t worry, old thing,” Sophie said to the face. “You look quite healthy. Besides, this is much more like you than you really are.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

246. “Howl’s voice was presently heard shouting weakly, “Help me, someone! I’m dying from neglect up here!” Sophie snorted.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

247. “I like you, too!” she blubbered at the top of her voice. “I do, I do. You’re a lovely Goon. You’re my favourite Goon in all the world!”

— Diana Wynne Jones

248. “Women do not count,” said the Sultan. “Therefore, it is impossible to be unfair to them.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

249. “The best advice for dealing with cats is: Always greet them politely. Don’t make an unnecessary fuss over them. Be on the alert for signs they want to communicate with you. Never, ever laugh at them! If you’re lucky, you might just find that your cat will decide that you are a magical person worthy of attention. Or then again, maybe they’d just like some fish.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

250. “The rule was: Lose your temper, lose a customer. She had just proved that rule. It troubled her to realise how very enjoyable it had been.”

— Diana Wynne Jones