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Top 60 Emily R. Austin Quotes (2026 Update)
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Emily R. Austin Quote: “Think about it. If we discovered a dandelion on a planet besides Earth, that would be astounding. The fact that dandelions exist on our planet is therefore astounding.”

51. “Think about it. If we discovered a dandelion on a planet besides Earth, that would be astounding. The fact that dandelions exist on our planet is therefore astounding.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I am thinking about how enormous my thighs look pressed down on the concrete, while simultaneously thinking about how small I am in the grand scheme of things.”

52. “I am thinking about how enormous my thighs look pressed down on the concrete, while simultaneously thinking about how small I am in the grand scheme of things.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “It is unclear what my role is, but I was asked to stand at the entrance to the church, and because of that, I suspect my role to be: gargoyle.”

53. “It is unclear what my role is, but I was asked to stand at the entrance to the church, and because of that, I suspect my role to be: gargoyle.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I find it so bizarre that I occupy space, and that I am seen by other people.”

54. “I find it so bizarre that I occupy space, and that I am seen by other people.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “We are going to watch a scary movie. I felt like watching something frightening so I could exert power over it. I want to eat popcorn while I watch it and laugh while it tries to scare me.”

55. “We are going to watch a scary movie. I felt like watching something frightening so I could exert power over it. I want to eat popcorn while I watch it and laugh while it tries to scare me.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I am finally awarded selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors for all my hard work as a depressed person. I am waiting for the pharmacist to fill my prescription, and to present me with my medal. Thank you to Dr. Chan for nominating me for this honor, and my brain for burdening me.”

56. “I am finally awarded selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors for all my hard work as a depressed person. I am waiting for the pharmacist to fill my prescription, and to present me with my medal. Thank you to Dr. Chan for nominating me for this honor, and my brain for burdening me.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I feel so profoundly inside of myself, I can’t stand it.”

57. “I feel so profoundly inside of myself, I can’t stand it.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I decided rhinos were like magical creatures. The only reason they aren’t considered magical is because they’re real.”

58. “I decided rhinos were like magical creatures. The only reason they aren’t considered magical is because they’re real.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I can tell that I wouldn’t be attracted to him, but that is true of every man except for a few very specific celebrities, and some fictional male characters who were written by women.”

59. “I can tell that I wouldn’t be attracted to him, but that is true of every man except for a few very specific celebrities, and some fictional male characters who were written by women.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “Everything matters so much and so little; it is disgusting.”

60. “Everything matters so much and so little; it is disgusting.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I have this bizarre feeling like I was a different person at every other stage of my life. I feel so removed from myself then. Sometimes I feel like I was a different person a month ago. A day. Five minutes. Now.”

61. “I have this bizarre feeling like I was a different person at every other stage of my life. I feel so removed from myself then. Sometimes I feel like I was a different person a month ago. A day. Five minutes. Now.”

— Emily R. Austin

Emily R. Austin Quote: “I walk into his office, ready to greet George, and scream. George is bald.”

62. “I walk into his office, ready to greet George, and scream. George is bald.”

— Emily R. Austin

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