Top 120 Iain Banks Quotes (2024 Update)
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Iain Banks Quote: “All I said was that I thought it was a judgement from God that Blyth had first lost his leg and then had the replacement become the instrument of his downfall. All because of the rabbits. Eric, who was going through a religious phase at the time which I suppose I was to some extent copying, thought this was a terrible thing to say; God wasn’t like that. I said the one I believed in was.”

101. “All I said was that I thought it was a judgement from God that Blyth had first lost his leg and then had the replacement become the instrument of his downfall. All because of the rabbits. Eric, who was going through a religious phase at the time which I suppose I was to some extent copying, thought this was a terrible thing to say; God wasn’t like that. I said the one I believed in was.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Thinking what had happened over in my mind, trying to figure out the whys and wherefores, see what lessons were to be learned, what signs to be read in it all.”

102. “Thinking what had happened over in my mind, trying to figure out the whys and wherefores, see what lessons were to be learned, what signs to be read in it all.”

Iain Banks Quote: “If you have any helpful suggestions I’d be pleased to hear them. If all you can do is make snide insinuations then it would probably benefit all concerned if you bestowed the fruits of your prodigious wit on someone with the spare time to give them the consideration they doubtless deserve.”

103. “If you have any helpful suggestions I’d be pleased to hear them. If all you can do is make snide insinuations then it would probably benefit all concerned if you bestowed the fruits of your prodigious wit on someone with the spare time to give them the consideration they doubtless deserve.”

Iain Banks Quote: “There’s this sloth in the jungle walking from one tree to another, and it’s mugged by a gang of snails, and when the police ask the sloth if it could identify any of its attackers, it says, ‘I don’t know; it all happened so quickly...”

104. “There’s this sloth in the jungle walking from one tree to another, and it’s mugged by a gang of snails, and when the police ask the sloth if it could identify any of its attackers, it says, ‘I don’t know; it all happened so quickly...”

Iain Banks Quote: “It was a war scripted by Heller from a story by Orwell, and somebody would be bombing their own airfield before too long, no doubt.”

105. “It was a war scripted by Heller from a story by Orwell, and somebody would be bombing their own airfield before too long, no doubt.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Though drones, avatars and even humans are one thing; the loss of any is not without moral and diplomatic import, of course, but might be dismissed as merely unfortunate and regrettable, something to be smoothed over through the usual channels. Attacking a ship, on the other hand, is an unambiguous act of war.”

106. “Though drones, avatars and even humans are one thing; the loss of any is not without moral and diplomatic import, of course, but might be dismissed as merely unfortunate and regrettable, something to be smoothed over through the usual channels. Attacking a ship, on the other hand, is an unambiguous act of war.”

Iain Banks Quote: “I’m doing fine. I eat dogs! Heh heh heh!’ I.”

107. “I’m doing fine. I eat dogs! Heh heh heh!’ I.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Aye,’ McCann said ruefully, ’if yer rich yer just eccentric; if yer poor yer a nutcase an they stick ye in the bin.”

108. “Aye,’ McCann said ruefully, ’if yer rich yer just eccentric; if yer poor yer a nutcase an they stick ye in the bin.”

Iain Banks Quote: “I just come up with the stories and write them as well as I can. There’s not really a great deal of strokey-beard thinking going on.”

109. “I just come up with the stories and write them as well as I can. There’s not really a great deal of strokey-beard thinking going on.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Look at these humans! How could such glacial slowness even be called life? An age could pass, virtual empires rise and fall in the time they took to open their mouths to utter some new inanity!”

110. “Look at these humans! How could such glacial slowness even be called life? An age could pass, virtual empires rise and fall in the time they took to open their mouths to utter some new inanity!”

Iain Banks Quote: “Future became Present, Present became Past. A truth so banal, so obvious and accepted that he had somehow managed to ignore it before.”

111. “Future became Present, Present became Past. A truth so banal, so obvious and accepted that he had somehow managed to ignore it before.”

Iain Banks Quote: “He was one of those men... who know in their hearts that for all their edgy, belligerent hardness they are just unhappy kids, emotional retards.”

112. “He was one of those men... who know in their hearts that for all their edgy, belligerent hardness they are just unhappy kids, emotional retards.”

Iain Banks Quote: “It occurred to me then, as it has before, that that is what men are really for. Both sexes can do one thing specially well; women can give birth and men can kill.”

113. “It occurred to me then, as it has before, that that is what men are really for. Both sexes can do one thing specially well; women can give birth and men can kill.”

Iain Banks Quote: “There was a layer of grey-blue smoke in the room at about shoulder level, and a big wave in it, probably produced by me as I came in through the double doors of the back porch. The wave rose slowly between us while my father stared at me.”

114. “There was a layer of grey-blue smoke in the room at about shoulder level, and a big wave in it, probably produced by me as I came in through the double doors of the back porch. The wave rose slowly between us while my father stared at me.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Once you get over the simple unpleasantness of it – I suspect most people would gag, the first time – it is easier to wipe somebody else’s bum than it is your own, because you can see what you’re doing and use both hands at once if necessary. The whole process is much more efficient and uses no more toilet paper than is strictly required, so it’s better for the environment, too. If we were really green we’d all have somebody else wipe our bums, though I can’t see it catching on.”

115. “Once you get over the simple unpleasantness of it – I suspect most people would gag, the first time – it is easier to wipe somebody else’s bum than it is your own, because you can see what you’re doing and use both hands at once if necessary. The whole process is much more efficient and uses no more toilet paper than is strictly required, so it’s better for the environment, too. If we were really green we’d all have somebody else wipe our bums, though I can’t see it catching on.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Any such inklings were like a few scattered grains of truth dissolved in an ocean of nonsense, and were anyway generally inextricably bound up with patently paranoid ravings which served only to devalue the small amounts of sense and pertinence with which they were associated.”

116. “Any such inklings were like a few scattered grains of truth dissolved in an ocean of nonsense, and were anyway generally inextricably bound up with patently paranoid ravings which served only to devalue the small amounts of sense and pertinence with which they were associated.”

Iain Banks Quote: “It looks perverted and wasteful to us, but then one thing that empires are not about is the efficient use of resources and the spread of happiness; both are typically accomplished despite the economic short-circuiting – corruption and favoritism, mostly – endemic to the system.”

117. “It looks perverted and wasteful to us, but then one thing that empires are not about is the efficient use of resources and the spread of happiness; both are typically accomplished despite the economic short-circuiting – corruption and favoritism, mostly – endemic to the system.”

Iain Banks Quote: “This is so much like the old days. And, again, I have mixed feelings. In some ways it’s good and comfortable to be fitting straight back in like I’ve never been away, but, on the other hand, I’m getting this constrictive feeling as well. It’s the same places – like the bars and pubs on Friday night – the same people, the same conversations, the same arguments and the same attitudes. Five years away and not much seems to have changed. I can’t decide if this is good or bad.”

118. “This is so much like the old days. And, again, I have mixed feelings. In some ways it’s good and comfortable to be fitting straight back in like I’ve never been away, but, on the other hand, I’m getting this constrictive feeling as well. It’s the same places – like the bars and pubs on Friday night – the same people, the same conversations, the same arguments and the same attitudes. Five years away and not much seems to have changed. I can’t decide if this is good or bad.”

Iain Banks Quote: “He could describe walking towards the Taj Mahal – ho-hum, thinks the reader, immediately in the realm of the tacky postcard – and still give you a wholly fresh impression of the exact scale and actual presence of that white tomb; delicate but powerful, compact and yet boundlessly imposing. Epic grace. With those two words he encapsulated it, and you knew exactly what he meant.”

119. “He could describe walking towards the Taj Mahal – ho-hum, thinks the reader, immediately in the realm of the tacky postcard – and still give you a wholly fresh impression of the exact scale and actual presence of that white tomb; delicate but powerful, compact and yet boundlessly imposing. Epic grace. With those two words he encapsulated it, and you knew exactly what he meant.”

Iain Banks Quote: “I thought that maybe what had happened had been for the best. The part of me which made the mistake with the buck, letting it get the better of me for a moment, might still be around if that acid test hadn’t found it out. The incompetent or misguided general had been dismissed.”

120. “I thought that maybe what had happened had been for the best. The part of me which made the mistake with the buck, letting it get the better of me for a moment, might still be around if that acid test hadn’t found it out. The incompetent or misguided general had been dismissed.”

Iain Banks Quote: “My greatest enemies are Women and the Sea.”

121. “My greatest enemies are Women and the Sea.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Death was change; it led to new chances, new vacancies, new niches and opportunities; it was not all loss.”

122. “Death was change; it led to new chances, new vacancies, new niches and opportunities; it was not all loss.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Well, we’re all young once, Prentice, and those that are lucky get to be old.”

123. “Well, we’re all young once, Prentice, and those that are lucky get to be old.”

Iain Banks Quote: “They were here, and then they weren’t, and that was all there was.”

124. “They were here, and then they weren’t, and that was all there was.”

Iain Banks Quote: “I suppose it has gone out of fashion and they are out spraying slogans on walls, sniffing glue or trying to get laid.”

125. “I suppose it has gone out of fashion and they are out spraying slogans on walls, sniffing glue or trying to get laid.”

Iain Banks Quote: “He walked through the white corridors, past the notice-boards with their offers of small rooms and old cars, past the coffee bar where people sat at tables, past a hole in the white floor where an old chair stood sentry over an opened conduit in which a torch shone and a man crawled, and as he left he looked at his watch:.”

126. “He walked through the white corridors, past the notice-boards with their offers of small rooms and old cars, past the coffee bar where people sat at tables, past a hole in the white floor where an old chair stood sentry over an opened conduit in which a torch shone and a man crawled, and as he left he looked at his watch:.”

Iain Banks Quote: “That’s the thing about a good porter”–and he shrugged, or shook his head and sounded so rueful and sort of growly as he said, “Deals with all your baggage.”

127. “That’s the thing about a good porter”–and he shrugged, or shook his head and sounded so rueful and sort of growly as he said, “Deals with all your baggage.”

Iain Banks Quote: “Whatever; if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s machines that talk back: SILENCE!”

128. “Whatever; if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s machines that talk back: SILENCE!”

Iain Banks Quote: “Sometimes, when I have to make precious substances such as toenail cheese or belly-button fluff, I have to go without a shower or bath for days and days; I hate doing this because I soon feel dirty and itchy, and the only bright thing about such abstinence is how good it feels to have a shower at the end of it.”

129. “Sometimes, when I have to make precious substances such as toenail cheese or belly-button fluff, I have to go without a shower or bath for days and days; I hate doing this because I soon feel dirty and itchy, and the only bright thing about such abstinence is how good it feels to have a shower at the end of it.”

Iain Banks Quote: “If this goes badly and I make a crater, I want it named after me!”

130. “If this goes badly and I make a crater, I want it named after me!”

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