Top 80 Jen Lancaster Quotes (2024 Update)
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Jen Lancaster Quote: “Anyone who grew up in a household where carob passed for chocolate and apple pies were actually filled with zucchini will feel me here.”

51. “Anyone who grew up in a household where carob passed for chocolate and apple pies were actually filled with zucchini will feel me here.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt we’ll ever come to terms on tastes great or less filling and hybrids versus Hummers, and there will always be Yankees fans and Red Sox fans, and never the ’twain shall meet. Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.”

52. “Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt we’ll ever come to terms on tastes great or less filling and hybrids versus Hummers, and there will always be Yankees fans and Red Sox fans, and never the ’twain shall meet. Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Or how about when a person publishes something along the lines of, “This has been the worst day EVAH,” but then gets all closed-lipped about why it’s been so bad. This is attention-seeking at its worst.”

53. “Or how about when a person publishes something along the lines of, “This has been the worst day EVAH,” but then gets all closed-lipped about why it’s been so bad. This is attention-seeking at its worst.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “I’ve always feared growing older because I thought I’d run out of interests, but what this project has taught me is that I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I could try next.”

54. “I’ve always feared growing older because I thought I’d run out of interests, but what this project has taught me is that I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I could try next.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Amen,′ I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I’ll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there.”

55. “Amen,′ I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I’ll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Couple this discovery with the realization that my things shouldn’t own me and that life’s meant to be lived, not displayed on Pinterest, and my sense is I’ve finally achieved something close to balance. I feel excellent about actually having.”

56. “Couple this discovery with the realization that my things shouldn’t own me and that life’s meant to be lived, not displayed on Pinterest, and my sense is I’ve finally achieved something close to balance. I feel excellent about actually having.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “You know what? We need a recession in this country, because that would finaly weed out al the subnormal, underdeveloped, stupefied, puerile people in this workforce.”

57. “You know what? We need a recession in this country, because that would finaly weed out al the subnormal, underdeveloped, stupefied, puerile people in this workforce.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items is his job because I kind of don’t like to bend. I also refuse to carry anything heavier than my purse.”

58. “Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items is his job because I kind of don’t like to bend. I also refuse to carry anything heavier than my purse.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “I used to have to hunt for hard-boiled eggs when I was a kid. What was the point of that? Was I supposed to be, ‘Yay! I found them! Egg-salad sandwiches for everyone!’ I was seven! I wanted chocolate, not bioavailable protein.”

59. “I used to have to hunt for hard-boiled eggs when I was a kid. What was the point of that? Was I supposed to be, ‘Yay! I found them! Egg-salad sandwiches for everyone!’ I was seven! I wanted chocolate, not bioavailable protein.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Writing is something that I’ve always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.”

60. “Writing is something that I’ve always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.”

61. “You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.”

62. “For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said views do nothing to advance the narrative.”

63. “As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said views do nothing to advance the narrative.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Point? Maybe you aren’t a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you’re just you.”

64. “Point? Maybe you aren’t a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you’re just you.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “In terms of being smart, Libby is very, very pretty.”

65. “In terms of being smart, Libby is very, very pretty.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “This should be easy because I’ve fallen out of love with Facebook. First, I want to be the kind of friend who hears about others’ milestones in person. I hate learning about major life events buried in a timeline between photos of fresh pedicures and pictures of lunch. When someone close to me has a baby or goes through emergency surgery or suffers a loss, they deserve more than a “like.” A click should never take the place of real interaction. Plus, I almost never visit anyone else’s page.”

66. “This should be easy because I’ve fallen out of love with Facebook. First, I want to be the kind of friend who hears about others’ milestones in person. I hate learning about major life events buried in a timeline between photos of fresh pedicures and pictures of lunch. When someone close to me has a baby or goes through emergency surgery or suffers a loss, they deserve more than a “like.” A click should never take the place of real interaction. Plus, I almost never visit anyone else’s page.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract.”

67. “No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “That which went wrong, and that which went right, would have been made easier if I were more focused on my goals.”

68. “That which went wrong, and that which went right, would have been made easier if I were more focused on my goals.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Everyone who reads me is someone I’d like to hang out with.”

69. “Everyone who reads me is someone I’d like to hang out with.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character’s voice when writing fiction.”

70. “Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character’s voice when writing fiction.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Although they’re doing manual labor, they’re both wearing tailored slacks and dressy leather shoes, which.”

71. “Although they’re doing manual labor, they’re both wearing tailored slacks and dressy leather shoes, which.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “This toffee tastes like war or Lucifer’s tears. This toffee is a molten pool of broken Christmas promises. If sadness had a flavor, it would be the contents of the Pyrex.”

72. “This toffee tastes like war or Lucifer’s tears. This toffee is a molten pool of broken Christmas promises. If sadness had a flavor, it would be the contents of the Pyrex.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “But how come no one says anything to my face? I do dozens of events per year and I’ve met thousands of readers, and every single person I’ve ever encountered has been lovely. Why is that, I wonder? Am I more charming in person, or is it that face-to-face blunt-force-trauma honesty requires a modicum of courage?”

73. “But how come no one says anything to my face? I do dozens of events per year and I’ve met thousands of readers, and every single person I’ve ever encountered has been lovely. Why is that, I wonder? Am I more charming in person, or is it that face-to-face blunt-force-trauma honesty requires a modicum of courage?”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Until he started watching The Walking Dead. Yeah, AMC. Thanks for that. He keeps telling me that I’d enjoy the show, but judging from all the screaming, shooting, and breaking glass I hear from my office every.”

74. “Until he started watching The Walking Dead. Yeah, AMC. Thanks for that. He keeps telling me that I’d enjoy the show, but judging from all the screaming, shooting, and breaking glass I hear from my office every.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Dessert is my reward for having met my goals during the day. Really, dessert is an event rather than a specific item.”

75. “Dessert is my reward for having met my goals during the day. Really, dessert is an event rather than a specific item.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “While I’m happy for everyone who wants a family, I look at the notion of having kids the same way I look at people who get tattoos on their faces, like, “Hoo-boy, that’s permanent.”

76. “While I’m happy for everyone who wants a family, I look at the notion of having kids the same way I look at people who get tattoos on their faces, like, “Hoo-boy, that’s permanent.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “The paradox of living in the safest possible time is that those who suffer from anxiety aren’t hardwired to take the win; we panic when things go too well.”

77. “The paradox of living in the safest possible time is that those who suffer from anxiety aren’t hardwired to take the win; we panic when things go too well.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “When I’m able to slough it off, when it’s not causing physical symptoms or putting me on edge, my anxiety still pops up out of nowhere to spoil nice moments. I fear good things happening because I believe something bad is sure to follow.”

78. “When I’m able to slough it off, when it’s not causing physical symptoms or putting me on edge, my anxiety still pops up out of nowhere to spoil nice moments. I fear good things happening because I believe something bad is sure to follow.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “Shout long enough in capital letters and, eventually, people start to tune you out.”

79. “Shout long enough in capital letters and, eventually, people start to tune you out.”

— Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Quote: “During this crisis, I’ve discovered that I would thrive under house arrest. So there’s that.”

80. “During this crisis, I’ve discovered that I would thrive under house arrest. So there’s that.”

— Jen Lancaster

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