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Top 70 Jennifer Crusie Quotes (2025 Update)
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Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Books provide a handy shorthand when Rory’s mostly MIA father, Christopher, is first introduced to viewers. Christopher’s offer to buy Rory the Compact Oxford English Dictionary she covets is sincere; his lack of ability to follow through on his good intentions is Christopher in a nutshell.”

51. “Books provide a handy shorthand when Rory’s mostly MIA father, Christopher, is first introduced to viewers. Christopher’s offer to buy Rory the Compact Oxford English Dictionary she covets is sincere; his lack of ability to follow through on his good intentions is Christopher in a nutshell.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that. – Anthony.”

52. “You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that. – Anthony.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “On the very outside chance that we might play again, you should know that pool is the closest thing I have to a religion. Don’t ever throw a game with me again.”

53. “On the very outside chance that we might play again, you should know that pool is the closest thing I have to a religion. Don’t ever throw a game with me again.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Zach had brought her a dog.”

54. “Zach had brought her a dog.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “The reason you can’t lose weight is that you’re not supposed to lose weight, you’re not built that way, and if you did manage through some stupid diet to take the weight off, you’d be like that chicken mess you just made. Some things are supposed to be made with butter. You’re one of them.”

55. “The reason you can’t lose weight is that you’re not supposed to lose weight, you’re not built that way, and if you did manage through some stupid diet to take the weight off, you’d be like that chicken mess you just made. Some things are supposed to be made with butter. You’re one of them.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “So I’ve been sexy all these years? Why hasn’t anybody noticed?” “Because you dress like you hate your body,” Cal said. “Sexy is in your head and you don’t feel sexy so you don’t look it.”

56. “So I’ve been sexy all these years? Why hasn’t anybody noticed?” “Because you dress like you hate your body,” Cal said. “Sexy is in your head and you don’t feel sexy so you don’t look it.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “A bar would not be a good career move for you.”

57. “A bar would not be a good career move for you.”

— Jennifer Crusie

58. “It was a lot easier when we could just brand’em,” Ben said. “Then everybody’d know not to mess with our womenfolk.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “The last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class.”

59. “The last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “I brought you Diet Coke to compensate,” he said, opening the cooler. “Also, this conversation is boring.” “Right. Sorry.” She took the can he handed her and popped it open. “Really sorry. There’s nothing more boring than talking about food.” “No,” Cal said. “Talking about food is great. Talking about not having food is boring.”

60. “I brought you Diet Coke to compensate,” he said, opening the cooler. “Also, this conversation is boring.” “Right. Sorry.” She took the can he handed her and popped it open. “Really sorry. There’s nothing more boring than talking about food.” “No,” Cal said. “Talking about food is great. Talking about not having food is boring.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “You’re planning on being disappointed, you’d be disappointed if you weren’t disappointed, your whole world view depends on men disappointing you. Well, that’s just cowardly.”

61. “You’re planning on being disappointed, you’d be disappointed if you weren’t disappointed, your whole world view depends on men disappointing you. Well, that’s just cowardly.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Sometimes stories are just previews of coming truths.”

62. “Sometimes stories are just previews of coming truths.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Paris is Rory without Lorelai’s influence to draw her out of her books and into the wider world.”

63. “Paris is Rory without Lorelai’s influence to draw her out of her books and into the wider world.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “But those misgivings come less from the resulting loss of familial memories than because it gave Lorelai the working-class skills to escape inherited class obligations and to make her own way in the world. That’s one reason why Lorelai is powerful and fearless in ways Mrs. Kim and Mrs. Gilmore are not. She’s self-confident enough to accept those things she can’t control and to rely upon the kindness of strangers.”

64. “But those misgivings come less from the resulting loss of familial memories than because it gave Lorelai the working-class skills to escape inherited class obligations and to make her own way in the world. That’s one reason why Lorelai is powerful and fearless in ways Mrs. Kim and Mrs. Gilmore are not. She’s self-confident enough to accept those things she can’t control and to rely upon the kindness of strangers.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “They stared at each other for a moment, perplexed by their newfound siblinghood. ‘So we’re the Luke and Leia of hell,’ Mab said.”

65. “They stared at each other for a moment, perplexed by their newfound siblinghood. ‘So we’re the Luke and Leia of hell,’ Mab said.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “I’m stuck in the old me, and I don’t know how to get out. I just know the old me isn’t the real me anymore.”

66. “I’m stuck in the old me, and I don’t know how to get out. I just know the old me isn’t the real me anymore.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Lane and Zack got hitched. So while it might not be very punk rock to be too young to drink legally at your own wedding, it’s certainly handy to have the thumbs up from God to get laid.”

67. “Lane and Zack got hitched. So while it might not be very punk rock to be too young to drink legally at your own wedding, it’s certainly handy to have the thumbs up from God to get laid.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Lee stood in front of the class the first day and said, “Anybody who makes fun of romance fiction is making fun of Jane Austen, and anybody who makes fun of Jane Austen answers to me.” Why yes, I would walk across broken glass for that man. Why do you ask?”

68. “Lee stood in front of the class the first day and said, “Anybody who makes fun of romance fiction is making fun of Jane Austen, and anybody who makes fun of Jane Austen answers to me.” Why yes, I would walk across broken glass for that man. Why do you ask?”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Phin spared a moment of sympathy for Frank until he looked back and saw him at the bar, leaning into Clea’s cleavage. Get a grip, Frank, he thought, and then he looked down Sophie’s dress and thought, Never mind, Frank.”

69. “Phin spared a moment of sympathy for Frank until he looked back and saw him at the bar, leaning into Clea’s cleavage. Get a grip, Frank, he thought, and then he looked down Sophie’s dress and thought, Never mind, Frank.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “The attendant opened the door, and the faint barking Nina had heard before became frantic and shrill. Nina stepped into the concrete cell block and stopped, blown out of her self-absorption by the row of gray metal cages where dogs barked to get her attention. She let her breath out, horrified. “Oh, God, this is awful.” “Spay your pets.” The attendant stopped in front of the next to last cage. “Here you go.” She jerked her head again. “Perky.” Nina.”

70. “The attendant opened the door, and the faint barking Nina had heard before became frantic and shrill. Nina stepped into the concrete cell block and stopped, blown out of her self-absorption by the row of gray metal cages where dogs barked to get her attention. She let her breath out, horrified. “Oh, God, this is awful.” “Spay your pets.” The attendant stopped in front of the next to last cage. “Here you go.” She jerked her head again. “Perky.” Nina.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Really, The smart thing to do was to stop dating and get a cat.”

71. “Really, The smart thing to do was to stop dating and get a cat.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “There never were any women who liked to cook for men everyday. There were only women who cooked for survival and pretended to like it. And now there are men who cook for survival. Like you. Think of this as survivalist training. Very macho.”

72. “There never were any women who liked to cook for men everyday. There were only women who cooked for survival and pretended to like it. And now there are men who cook for survival. Like you. Think of this as survivalist training. Very macho.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “The law is a fine thing, even when it’s wrong.”

73. “The law is a fine thing, even when it’s wrong.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “He loved her all he could; but he couldn’t love her very much.”

74. “He loved her all he could; but he couldn’t love her very much.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Cynthie was enchanting up close. And from far away. From everywhere, really, which was how he’d ended up saying yes to her all the time. Cal glanced at her impeccably tight little body in her impeccably tight little red dress and then took a step back as he jerked his eyes away, reminding himself of how peaceful life was without her. Distance, that was the key. Maybe a cross and some garlic, too.”

75. “Cynthie was enchanting up close. And from far away. From everywhere, really, which was how he’d ended up saying yes to her all the time. Cal glanced at her impeccably tight little body in her impeccably tight little red dress and then took a step back as he jerked his eyes away, reminding himself of how peaceful life was without her. Distance, that was the key. Maybe a cross and some garlic, too.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Hostility,” Cal said. “It’s deja vu all over again. How’s your head?” “The pain comes and goes,” Min said. “And then there are the voices.”

76. “Hostility,” Cal said. “It’s deja vu all over again. How’s your head?” “The pain comes and goes,” Min said. “And then there are the voices.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “The muffin halves popped up from the toaster on the counter behind him, and she stood up to get them, the scent of her mixing with the hot yeasty smell of the muffins, and the buttery, peppery smell of the eggs, and the fat, spicy smell of the sausage, and Shane lost track of where he was in conversation.”

77. “The muffin halves popped up from the toaster on the counter behind him, and she stood up to get them, the scent of her mixing with the hot yeasty smell of the muffins, and the buttery, peppery smell of the eggs, and the fat, spicy smell of the sausage, and Shane lost track of where he was in conversation.”

— Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Quote: “Excuse me,” North said. “I’d like to continue this conversation but I find myself in need of a therapist.”

78. “Excuse me,” North said. “I’d like to continue this conversation but I find myself in need of a therapist.”

— Jennifer Crusie

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