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Top 60 Jesse Andrews Quotes (2024 Update)
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Jesse Andrews Quote: “The point is that by seventh period, he’s been exposed to four hours of grinding stupidity, and he wants to slit his wrists. For the first ten minutes of lunch, he shakes his head angrily at everything I say. Then eventually he snaps out of it.”

51. “The point is that by seventh period, he’s been exposed to four hours of grinding stupidity, and he wants to slit his wrists. For the first ten minutes of lunch, he shakes his head angrily at everything I say. Then eventually he snaps out of it.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “I said, in my new loud middle-aged-Jewish-woman voice.”

52. “I said, in my new loud middle-aged-Jewish-woman voice.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “I like movies,” said Rachel, sort of apologetically. “But a movie doesn’t have to be good if it has Hugh Jackman.”

53. “I like movies,” said Rachel, sort of apologetically. “But a movie doesn’t have to be good if it has Hugh Jackman.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “The balance of power had shifted in ways that none of us yet understood. There was tension in the air. It was a moment of great opportunity, and greater danger.”

54. “The balance of power had shifted in ways that none of us yet understood. There was tension in the air. It was a moment of great opportunity, and greater danger.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “I think I might have a disorder where your emotions frequently malfunction and a lot of the time you’re sitting there feeling something inappropriate. It should be called Emotional Moron Disorder.”

55. “I think I might have a disorder where your emotions frequently malfunction and a lot of the time you’re sitting there feeling something inappropriate. It should be called Emotional Moron Disorder.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “But a movie doesn’t have to be good if it has Hugh Jackman.”

56. “But a movie doesn’t have to be good if it has Hugh Jackman.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Were there times when this goal seemed like the goal of a moron? Yes. But honestly, name one life goal that does not occasionally seem like the goal of a total moron. Even being president would completely suck, if you really give it any thought at all.”

57. “Were there times when this goal seemed like the goal of a moron? Yes. But honestly, name one life goal that does not occasionally seem like the goal of a total moron. Even being president would completely suck, if you really give it any thought at all.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Also, she does this thing women sometimes do with their eyebrows where they just completely shave them off and draw news ones in a different weird place with a Sharpie or something, and the more you think about it, the more your stomach starts churning around and you want to claw your own head.”

58. “Also, she does this thing women sometimes do with their eyebrows where they just completely shave them off and draw news ones in a different weird place with a Sharpie or something, and the more you think about it, the more your stomach starts churning around and you want to claw your own head.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “She’s fourteen, which means that any kind of normal interaction with her is doomed to failure. We used to be pretty good friends, but fourteen-year-old girls are psychotic. Her main interests are yelling at Mom and not eating whatever is for dinner.”

59. “She’s fourteen, which means that any kind of normal interaction with her is doomed to failure. We used to be pretty good friends, but fourteen-year-old girls are psychotic. Her main interests are yelling at Mom and not eating whatever is for dinner.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Liv! The perpetrator has probably not returned to the scene of the crime. Pee Diddy is long gone by now.”

60. “Liv! The perpetrator has probably not returned to the scene of the crime. Pee Diddy is long gone by now.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Greg, we all like weirdos.”

61. “Greg, we all like weirdos.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Rachel really did understand. That was indisputable. You had to respect that. She wasn’t a filmmaker, but she had spent so much time listening to me that I guess she pretty much knew exactly how I felt about certain things, and you can’t deny that it feels nice when someone knows you that well.”

62. “Rachel really did understand. That was indisputable. You had to respect that. She wasn’t a filmmaker, but she had spent so much time listening to me that I guess she pretty much knew exactly how I felt about certain things, and you can’t deny that it feels nice when someone knows you that well.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Just because something is weird and hard to understand doesn’t mean it’s creative. That’s – that’s the whole problem. If you want to pretend like something is good, even when it’s not, that’s when you use the stupid word ’creative.”

63. “Just because something is weird and hard to understand doesn’t mean it’s creative. That’s – that’s the whole problem. If you want to pretend like something is good, even when it’s not, that’s when you use the stupid word ’creative.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Also, what the hell does “weird” even mean? I’ve just written it like five times and all of a sudden I’m staring at it and it doesn’t even mean anything anymore. I just murdered the word “weird.” Now it’s just a bunch of dead letters. It’s like there’s all these dead bodies all over the page now.”

64. “Also, what the hell does “weird” even mean? I’ve just written it like five times and all of a sudden I’m staring at it and it doesn’t even mean anything anymore. I just murdered the word “weird.” Now it’s just a bunch of dead letters. It’s like there’s all these dead bodies all over the page now.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “ASH: “work hard play hard” is the philosophy of veing a relatively high-functioning alcoholic.”

65. “ASH: “work hard play hard” is the philosophy of veing a relatively high-functioning alcoholic.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Bon Iver: Way too emotionally high stakes for casual listening in the sense that it makes every single part of your life feel like the part of a TV show where you are in a hospital saying goodbye for the very last time.”

66. “Bon Iver: Way too emotionally high stakes for casual listening in the sense that it makes every single part of your life feel like the part of a TV show where you are in a hospital saying goodbye for the very last time.”

— Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Quote: “Inevitably, however, a dude approached us. He was white. Jazz camp was mostly white dudes. This dude was clutching a gold-embossed tenor sax case, and on his head was a fedora with two different eagle feathers in it.”

67. “Inevitably, however, a dude approached us. He was white. Jazz camp was mostly white dudes. This dude was clutching a gold-embossed tenor sax case, and on his head was a fedora with two different eagle feathers in it.”

— Jesse Andrews

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