Top 150 John Mayer Quotes (2025 Update)
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51. “May this be the year that things go your way most of the time, and when they don’t, may you have great friends to lean on.”

— John Mayer

52. “It’s very liberating when you finally realize it’s impossible to make everyone like you.”

— John Mayer

53. “Keep me where the light is.”

— John Mayer

54. “You make a choice in your life, and it affects your life in all the ways, good and bad.”

— John Mayer

55. “There’s so many inspiring people out there.”

— John Mayer

56. “Songs can be Trojan horses, taking charged ideas and sneaking past the ego’s defenses and into the open mind.”

— John Mayer

57. “I’ve always said I’ve got the coolest fans, and I brag about you like grandchildren when I talk to other artists.”

— John Mayer

58. “If you never stop when you wave goodbye you just might find, if you give it time, you will wave hello again...”

— John Mayer

59. “Who I am as a guitarist is defined by my failure to become Jimi Hendrix.”

— John Mayer

60. “Stop falling in love with everything that lets you down, even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken, even as the eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say.”

— John Mayer

61. “Sometimes it feels like my life is just one long day.”

— John Mayer

62. “Numb is the new deep, done with the old me, and talk is the same cheap it’s been.”

— John Mayer

63. “Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.”

— John Mayer

64. “She’s perfect, so flawless, I’m not impressed.”

— John Mayer

65. “Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you’re really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I’ve got a few missing.”

— John Mayer

66. “No matter what I do, I’m going to earn it.”

— John Mayer

67. “The minute hand moves faster than you think it does.”

— John Mayer

68. “You should have a picture of yourself as a kid in your home so that you remember where you came from.”

— John Mayer

69. “You cannot avoid war in life, you cannot avoid the fear of terrorism, you cannot avoid those things now, they are a part of everyday demeanor.”

— John Mayer

70. “I believe in blues, and I believe that it’s been misrepresented.”

— John Mayer

71. “I have these accidents, these mistakes, these self-inflicted wounds, and then I tear my head to shreds about it for days.”

— John Mayer

72. “People want to see musicians sing things that come from their own mind and own heart in real time, responding to the moment for them.”

— John Mayer

73. “I’ve never done anything because I thought it would look cool.”

— John Mayer

74. “Not worrying is a skill. It’s a skill not breaking down every single moment.”

— John Mayer

75. “It’s almost charity work, what people have done, turning other people on to my music.”

— John Mayer

76. “I don’t jerk off because I’m horny. I’m sort of half-chick. It’s like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.”

— John Mayer

77. “And i start sleeping and dreaming and i think i’ll dream about you, all through the night.”

— John Mayer

78. “If I wake up in the morning and I don’t want to get you a coffee or if I don’t see you for a week and I don’t want to go figure out something to FedEx you, then we’ve got a problem. You can fake the words I miss you, but you can’t fake getting someone a book.”

— John Mayer

79. “Sometimes I wish that I was a bong hit, you’d let me in and you would love every minute.”

— John Mayer

80. “I’ll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it...”

— John Mayer

81. “My fear is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say ‘I’m sorry, but I’ve got to say hello to you,’ and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, ‘Not for me, Bub. I don’t want anything to do with you.’”

— John Mayer

82. “High School is like a spork: it’s a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it’s just plain useless.”

— John Mayer

83. “I’ve realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.”

— John Mayer

84. “When you’re just open but not honest, then you start free-associating garbage.”

— John Mayer

85. “I am beginning to know what it feels like to be a woman. To have people looking at you all the time. And I’m sorry ladies, I had no idea! But people are looking at me all the time. It’s like I have musical boobies!”

— John Mayer

86. “Sometimes I get so bold and I’m so confident about what I’m doing that I actually try to be more of a dork because it’s a really liberating feeling to experience what it’s like to not care.”

— John Mayer

87. “I’m interested in living more of a life that’s invisible to everybody and more vibrant to a fewer people that are in my life.”

— John Mayer

88. “You get to a certain age where you prepare yourself for happiness. Sometimes you never remember to actually get happy.”

— John Mayer

89. “I hate being the heartbreaker. Hate it. If I date somebody and it doesn’t work out, it’s another nightmare for me.”

— John Mayer

90. “I remember playing the guitar through the amplifier facing out the window of my house onto the street in the summer time – that was social media in 1992.”

— John Mayer

91. “I’m very happy in all aspects of my life.”

— John Mayer

92. “Maybe someday you can accuse somebody of being a poseur by selling out and playing blues music, but that’s just not going to happen in my lifetime.”

— John Mayer

93. “I’ve figured out my learning curve. I can look at something and somehow know exactly how long it will take for me to learn it.”

— John Mayer

94. “Anybody who’s made it will tell you, you can make it. Anyone who hasn’t made it will tell you, you can’t.”

— John Mayer

95. “Fender Custom Shop made this nickel plated Stratbelieve it or not, it sounds incredible.”

— John Mayer

96. “The night I was recognized for ‘Daughters’ at the Grammys was the night this record started. I knew I had bought the time to learn everything I needed before I started this one. ‘Continuum’ is not a shot in the dark, it’s not a guesstimation.”

— John Mayer

97. “Somebody told me that this is the place where everything’s better and everything’s safe.”

— John Mayer

98. “By the way, pornography? It’s a new synaptic pathway. You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora’s box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed.”

— John Mayer

99. “I have the obsessiveness of someone who’s a sober, recovering addict displacing his addiction. Except I never had the addiction.”

— John Mayer

100. “I have male fans, but I’m persuading them to become female!”

— John Mayer