Top 100 Judith Martin Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “It is said that dispensing advice is easy. What is difficult is getting anyone to listen to it.”

— Judith Martin

52. “Charming villains have always had a decided social advantage over well-meaning people who chew with their mouths open.”

— Judith Martin

53. “If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn’t need to have the rest of the universities attached.”

— Judith Martin

54. “The truly essential bargain between host and guest requires the guest only to respond promptly, show up on time, socialize with other guests, thank the host, write additional thanks and reciprocate. You needn’t bring anything.”

— Judith Martin

55. “The idea that people can behave naturally, without resorting to an artificial code tacitly agreed upon by their society, is as silly as the idea that they can communicate by a spoken language without commonly accepted semantic and grammatical rules.”

— Judith Martin

56. “One of the big no-nos in cyberspace is that you do not go into a social activity, a chat group or something like that, and start advertising or selling things. This etiquette rule is an attempt to separate one’s social life, which should be pure enjoyment and relaxation, from the pressures of work.”

— Judith Martin

57. “There is no etiquette rule that decrees one must give out personal information to anyone who asks.”

— Judith Martin

58. “Question- Should I loan a small amount of money to a friend? Answer- If you are sure that you can, if necessary, spare both.”

— Judith Martin

59. “You don’t want to look too chic at a Washington party or people will think you don’t have a job worth losing.”

— Judith Martin

60. “The etiquette business has its emergencies, heaven knows, but it is in the nature of etiquette emergencies that once one realizes what one has done, it is too late. One might as well get a good night’s sleep and send flowers with an apology in the morning.”

— Judith Martin

61. “When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.”

— Judith Martin

62. “She only maintains that it is possible, under some circumstances, for a lady to murder her husband; but that a woman who wears ankle-strap shoes and smokes on the street corner, though she may be a joy to all who know her and have devoted her life to charity, could never qualify as a lady.”

— Judith Martin

63. “Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people’s wishes.”

— Judith Martin

64. “A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful.”

— Judith Martin

65. “People who put slipcovers, doilies, plastic protectors, and cellophane on everything good that they own rarely live to see an occasion so good that all these covers are removed.”

— Judith Martin

66. “Chaperons don’t enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet.”

— Judith Martin

67. “Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You’d be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children.”

— Judith Martin

68. “The more skillful the performance of false cheer, the more pleasing the effect is upon one’s public and on that private audience to whom one owes even more.”

— Judith Martin

69. “It is wrong to wear diamonds before luncheon, except on one’s marriage rings. Before, after, and during breakfast, luncheon and dinner, it is vulgar to wear a mixture of colored precious stones. It is always a comfort to know that so many things one can’t afford to do anyway are vulgar.”

— Judith Martin

70. “Nowadays, you form your beliefs to fit your behavior, not the other way around.”

— Judith Martin

71. “It is one of Miss Manners’s great discoveries that one needn’t contradict others in order to set them straight.”

— Judith Martin

72. “When you’re in love, you put up with things that, when you’re out of love you cite.”

— Judith Martin

73. “Knowing that others have gone through similar tragedies may be a help, but it should be remembered that every tragedy is not only commonplace but also unique.”

— Judith Martin

74. “It doesn’t matter whether the bride or the bridegroom writes the letters of thanks for wedding presents provided that these go out immediately after the arrival of each present and are not in the handwriting of the bride’s mother.”

— Judith Martin

75. “Nobody believes that the man who says, ‘Look, lady, you wanted equality,’ to explain why he won’t give up his seat to a pregnant woman carrying three grocery bags, a briefcase, and a toddler is seized with the symbolism of idealism.”

— Judith Martin

76. “Miss Manners fails to understand why philanthropists would turn from the needy to the greedy, but she is not in the business of laundering rudeness to make it seem acceptable.”

— Judith Martin

77. “Miss Manners remembers who should be introduced to whom, but then she also remembers the difference between “who” and “whom.” The formula is simple: One introduces inferiors to their superiors. Thus, gentlemen are introduced to ladies, young people to old, unranked ones to those of exalted stature and your own relatives to everyone else. It.”

— Judith Martin

78. “Being listened to should be sufficiently gratifying in itself, whether or not the advice is followed.”

— Judith Martin

79. “People think, mistakenly, that etiquette means you have to suppress your differences. On the contray, etiquette is what enables you to deal with them; it gives you a set of rules.”

— Judith Martin

80. “Conversation consists of developing and playing with ideas by juxtaposing the accumulated conclusions of two or more people and then improvising on them. It requires supplying such ingredients as information, experience, anecdotes, and opinions, but then being prepared to have them challenged and to contribute to a new mixture. Conversation.”

— Judith Martin

81. “One reason that the task of inventing manners is so difficult is that etiquette is folk custom, and people have emotional ties to the forms of their youth. That is why there is such hostility between generations in times of rapid change; their manners being different, each feels affronted by the other, taking even the most surface choices for challenges.”

— Judith Martin

82. “We are born charming fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.”

— Judith Martin

83. “What we have come to, through a combination of popular psychology and expanding technology, is a presumption that all our thoughts and feelings are worth uttering.”

— Judith Martin

84. “Miss Manners corrects only upon request. Then she does it from a distance, with no names attached, and no personal relationship, however distant, between the corrector and the correctee. She does not search out errors like a policeman leaping out of a speed trap. When Miss Manners observes people behaving rudely, she behaves politely to them, and then goes home and snickers about them afterward.”

— Judith Martin

85. “Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards.”

— Judith Martin

86. “Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough.”

— Judith Martin

87. “The simple idea that everyone needs a reasonable amount of challenging work in his or her life, and also a personal life, complete with noncompetitive leisure, has never really taken hold.”

— Judith Martin

88. “You should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business, when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval.”

— Judith Martin

89. “Miss Manners’ meager arsenal consists only of the withering look, the insistent and repeated request, the cold voice, the report up the chain of command and the tilted nose. They generally work.”

— Judith Martin

90. “If it’s against state law, it’s generally considered a breach of Etiquette.”

— Judith Martin

91. “The correct British peer would no more dream of using his own title than he would of using his own umbrella, although he carries both and is proud of their age.”

— Judith Martin

92. “When a society abandons its ideals just because most people can’t live up to them, behavior gets very ugly indeed.”

— Judith Martin

93. “We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them.”

— Judith Martin

94. “Meanwhile, the empty forms of social behavior survive inappropriately in business situations. We all know that when a business sends its customers ‘friendly reminders,’ it really means business.”

— Judith Martin

95. “Why bring children into a world where no one writes letters?”

— Judith Martin

96. “Nowadays people consider it a disgrace to admit that they are not stressed.”

— Judith Martin

97. “Try not to annoy your relatives unnecessarily.”

— Judith Martin

98. “A lot of men got upset at the feminist movement because they had all the toys and we wanted some.”

— Judith Martin

99. “When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art.”

— Judith Martin

100. “You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do.”

— Judith Martin