Top 70 Leo Rosten Quotes (2024 Update)
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Leo Rosten Quote: “SCENE: Classroom, Lower East Side, 1926. Teacher: “Who can tell us where the Romanian border is?” Student: “In the park with my aunt, and my mother doesn’t trust him!”

51. “SCENE: Classroom, Lower East Side, 1926. Teacher: “Who can tell us where the Romanian border is?” Student: “In the park with my aunt, and my mother doesn’t trust him!”

Leo Rosten Quote: “A Jew, crossing the street, bumped into an anti-Semite. “Swine!” bellowed the paskudnyak. “Goldberg,” said the Jew, bowing.”

52. “A Jew, crossing the street, bumped into an anti-Semite. “Swine!” bellowed the paskudnyak. “Goldberg,” said the Jew, bowing.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers.”

53. “Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer.”

54. “Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “PROVERB: “A tavern can’t corrupt a good man, and a synagogue can’t reform a bad one.”

55. “PROVERB: “A tavern can’t corrupt a good man, and a synagogue can’t reform a bad one.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “Yiddish, the language which will ever bear witness to the violence and murder inflicted on us, bears the marks of our expulsions from land to land, the language which absorbed the wails of the fathers, the laments of the generations, the poison and bitterness of history, the language whose precious jewels are undried, uncongealed Jewish tears.”

56. “Yiddish, the language which will ever bear witness to the violence and murder inflicted on us, bears the marks of our expulsions from land to land, the language which absorbed the wails of the fathers, the laments of the generations, the poison and bitterness of history, the language whose precious jewels are undried, uncongealed Jewish tears.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “The great rabbis did not “create” Halakha: what the rabbis did was to codify and clarify the legal teachings, adapting them to changing social conditions. “The Rabbinic Halakha,” writes Judah Goldin, “protected legislation from inflexibility and society from fundamentalism.”

57. “The great rabbis did not “create” Halakha: what the rabbis did was to codify and clarify the legal teachings, adapting them to changing social conditions. “The Rabbinic Halakha,” writes Judah Goldin, “protected legislation from inflexibility and society from fundamentalism.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “Why is sholem used for both “hello” and “good-bye”? Israelis say: “Because we have so many problems that half the time we don’t know whether we’re coming or going.”

58. “Why is sholem used for both “hello” and “good-bye”? Israelis say: “Because we have so many problems that half the time we don’t know whether we’re coming or going.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood. The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved.”

59. “A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood. The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “Why do the wicked always form groups, whereas the righteous do not? Because the wicked, walking in darkness, need company, but the righteous, who live in the light, do not fear being alone.”

60. “Why do the wicked always form groups, whereas the righteous do not? Because the wicked, walking in darkness, need company, but the righteous, who live in the light, do not fear being alone.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “Anybody who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.”

61. “Anybody who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “I have it on indisputable authority that in Scarsdale, during a school celebration of Christmas, one of the children sang the carol as “God rest ye, Jerry Mandelbaum.”

62. “I have it on indisputable authority that in Scarsdale, during a school celebration of Christmas, one of the children sang the carol as “God rest ye, Jerry Mandelbaum.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “In the Catskills, it is claimed that an ingenious gentleman crossbred a Guernsey with a Holstein – to get a Goldstein.”

63. “In the Catskills, it is claimed that an ingenious gentleman crossbred a Guernsey with a Holstein – to get a Goldstein.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “FOLK SAYING: “Your health comes first; you can always hang yourself later.”

64. “FOLK SAYING: “Your health comes first; you can always hang yourself later.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “I am informed by veterans of the Lower East Side that decalcomania pictures were called “cockamamies” because no one knew how to spell “decalcomania.”

65. “I am informed by veterans of the Lower East Side that decalcomania pictures were called “cockamamies” because no one knew how to spell “decalcomania.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “Which is more important: money or wisdom? “Wisdom,” says the philosopher. “Ha!” scoffs the cynic. “If wisdom is more important than money, why is it that the wise wait on the rich, and not the rich on the wise?” “Because,” says the scholar, “the wise, being wise, understand the value of money; but the rich, being only rich, do not know the value of wisdom.”

66. “Which is more important: money or wisdom? “Wisdom,” says the philosopher. “Ha!” scoffs the cynic. “If wisdom is more important than money, why is it that the wise wait on the rich, and not the rich on the wise?” “Because,” says the scholar, “the wise, being wise, understand the value of money; but the rich, being only rich, do not know the value of wisdom.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “I think of a shmegegge as a cross between a shlimazl and a shlemiel – or even between a nudnik and a nebekh.”

67. “I think of a shmegegge as a cross between a shlimazl and a shlemiel – or even between a nudnik and a nebekh.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “At a mass meeting in Berlin, Adolf Hitler, in thrall to a most appalling aynredenish, shrieked, “And who is responsible for all our troubles?” Ben Cohen shouted, “The bicycle riders and the Jews!” Hitler looked up, astonished. “Why the bicycle riders?” “Why the Jews?” replied Cohen.”

68. “At a mass meeting in Berlin, Adolf Hitler, in thrall to a most appalling aynredenish, shrieked, “And who is responsible for all our troubles?” Ben Cohen shouted, “The bicycle riders and the Jews!” Hitler looked up, astonished. “Why the bicycle riders?” “Why the Jews?” replied Cohen.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “The melamed asked one of his young students, “Yussele, do you say your prayers before each meal?” “No, melamed.” “What? You don’t pray before each meal?!” “I don’t have to. My mother’s a good cook.”

69. “The melamed asked one of his young students, “Yussele, do you say your prayers before each meal?” “No, melamed.” “What? You don’t pray before each meal?!” “I don’t have to. My mother’s a good cook.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “A young khokhem told his grandmother that he was going to become a doctor of philosophy. The bubbe smiled proudly: “Wonderful. But what kind of disease is ‘philosophy’?”

70. “A young khokhem told his grandmother that he was going to become a doctor of philosophy. The bubbe smiled proudly: “Wonderful. But what kind of disease is ‘philosophy’?”

Leo Rosten Quote: “I wouldn’t say ‘Hello’ to a paskudnyak like that!” “Did you ever hear of such a paskudnyak?” “That whole family is a collection of paskudnyaks.” This word is one of the most greasily graphic, I think, in Yiddish. It offers the connoisseur three nice, long syllables, starting with a sibilant of reprehension and ending with a nasality of scorn. It adds cadence to contempt.”

71. “I wouldn’t say ‘Hello’ to a paskudnyak like that!” “Did you ever hear of such a paskudnyak?” “That whole family is a collection of paskudnyaks.” This word is one of the most greasily graphic, I think, in Yiddish. It offers the connoisseur three nice, long syllables, starting with a sibilant of reprehension and ending with a nasality of scorn. It adds cadence to contempt.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “FOLK SAYINGS: “Nine wise men don’t make a minyan, but ten cobblers do.” “Nine saints do not make a minyan, but one ordinary man can by joining them.”

72. “FOLK SAYINGS: “Nine wise men don’t make a minyan, but ten cobblers do.” “Nine saints do not make a minyan, but one ordinary man can by joining them.”

Leo Rosten Quote: “I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”

73. “I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”

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