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Top 70 Mark Forsyth Quotes (2025 Update)
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Mark Forsyth Quote: “They don’t have to be sentences, they could be divided by commas, they could be divided by semi-colons; there’s a class of people who get very worked up about such things – they’re lonely people – they tend to have stains down the front of their shirts – they’ll tell you that dashes should be used only to subordinate complete sentences. You must forgive them.”

51. “They don’t have to be sentences, they could be divided by commas, they could be divided by semi-colons; there’s a class of people who get very worked up about such things – they’re lonely people – they tend to have stains down the front of their shirts – they’ll tell you that dashes should be used only to subordinate complete sentences. You must forgive them.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “For though one antithesis is grand, a long list of antitheses is divine and is technically known as a progressio. It was a favorite of God and Dickens.”

52. “For though one antithesis is grand, a long list of antitheses is divine and is technically known as a progressio. It was a favorite of God and Dickens.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “It is much harder than you might think to show people your bottom.”

53. “It is much harder than you might think to show people your bottom.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Now, that may be the correct translation, but the Hebrew doesn’t say thigh, it says yarek, which means, approximately, soft bits.”

54. “Now, that may be the correct translation, but the Hebrew doesn’t say thigh, it says yarek, which means, approximately, soft bits.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “You’re either better or you’re worse, you’re either richer or you’re poorer, you’re either sick or you’re healthy. There are no other options. If you need some words there you could say ‘in any circumstances’. But really, you don’t need to say anything at all. ‘Till death us do part’ kind of has it sewn up.”

55. “You’re either better or you’re worse, you’re either richer or you’re poorer, you’re either sick or you’re healthy. There are no other options. If you need some words there you could say ‘in any circumstances’. But really, you don’t need to say anything at all. ‘Till death us do part’ kind of has it sewn up.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “After all, fiction is only fact minus time.”

56. “After all, fiction is only fact minus time.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “But facts obscure the truth, which is that writing prose doesn’t make you a prose writer any more than philosophizing makes you a philosopher or fooling around makes you a fool.”

57. “But facts obscure the truth, which is that writing prose doesn’t make you a prose writer any more than philosophizing makes you a philosopher or fooling around makes you a fool.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Offices are peculiar places and nobody is ever quite sure what happens in them, least of all the people who work there. But the day tends to begin with a morning meeting, in which everybody decides what they will fail to do for the rest of the day.”

58. “Offices are peculiar places and nobody is ever quite sure what happens in them, least of all the people who work there. But the day tends to begin with a morning meeting, in which everybody decides what they will fail to do for the rest of the day.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Requited love is only a pleasing symmetry, and symmetry is a kind of justice.”

59. “Requited love is only a pleasing symmetry, and symmetry is a kind of justice.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “The beauty of merism is that it’s absolutely unnecessary. It’s words for words’ sake: a gushing torrent of invention filled with noun and noun and signifying nothing. Why a rhetorical figure that gabs on and on for no good reason should be central to the rite of marriage is beyond me.”

60. “The beauty of merism is that it’s absolutely unnecessary. It’s words for words’ sake: a gushing torrent of invention filled with noun and noun and signifying nothing. Why a rhetorical figure that gabs on and on for no good reason should be central to the rite of marriage is beyond me.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “But the true and natural home of merism is in legal documents. Lawyers are like Cole Porter and Alfred Lord Tennyson with a blender. A lawyer, for a reason or reasons known only to him or herself, cannot see a whole without dividing it into its parts and enumerating them in immense detail. This may be something to do with the billing system.”

61. “But the true and natural home of merism is in legal documents. Lawyers are like Cole Porter and Alfred Lord Tennyson with a blender. A lawyer, for a reason or reasons known only to him or herself, cannot see a whole without dividing it into its parts and enumerating them in immense detail. This may be something to do with the billing system.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Medieval lovers used to fond each other, and if they did this too often, they began to fondle. Fondling is a dangerous business, as sooner or later it leads to snugging, an archaic word that meant to lie down together in order to keep warm. Repeated incidences of snugging will result in snuggling, and pregnancy. Whether.”

62. “Medieval lovers used to fond each other, and if they did this too often, they began to fondle. Fondling is a dangerous business, as sooner or later it leads to snugging, an archaic word that meant to lie down together in order to keep warm. Repeated incidences of snugging will result in snuggling, and pregnancy. Whether.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “The Latin for standing in front of things is pro-stitutio. It.”

63. “The Latin for standing in front of things is pro-stitutio. It.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “A poet is not somebody who has great thoughts. That is the menial duty of the philosopher. A poet is somebody who expresses his thoughts, however commonplace they may be, exquisitely. That is the one and only difference between the poet and everybody else.”

64. “A poet is not somebody who has great thoughts. That is the menial duty of the philosopher. A poet is somebody who expresses his thoughts, however commonplace they may be, exquisitely. That is the one and only difference between the poet and everybody else.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Despite what astronomers would have you believe, most of the stars were created not by energy cooling into matter, but by Zeus. Zeus.”

65. “Despite what astronomers would have you believe, most of the stars were created not by energy cooling into matter, but by Zeus. Zeus.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “This leads to the great theory of human history: that we didn’t start farming because we wanted food – there was loads of that around. We started farming because we wanted booze.”

66. “This leads to the great theory of human history: that we didn’t start farming because we wanted food – there was loads of that around. We started farming because we wanted booze.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “The medievals often mixed up their Gs and Ws, which is why another word for guarantee is warranty.”

67. “The medievals often mixed up their Gs and Ws, which is why another word for guarantee is warranty.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “The period is one of the most complicated and concepts of classical rhetoric. Nobody in the ancient world could quite decide what it meant, but they were united in the belief that it was terribly, terribly important.”

68. “The period is one of the most complicated and concepts of classical rhetoric. Nobody in the ancient world could quite decide what it meant, but they were united in the belief that it was terribly, terribly important.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Above all, I hope I have dispelled the bleak and imbecilic idea that the aim of writing is to express yourself clearly in plain, simple English using as few words as possible. This is a fiction, a fib, a fallacy, a fantasy, and a falsehood. To write for mere utility is as foolish as to dress for mere utility.”

69. “Above all, I hope I have dispelled the bleak and imbecilic idea that the aim of writing is to express yourself clearly in plain, simple English using as few words as possible. This is a fiction, a fib, a fallacy, a fantasy, and a falsehood. To write for mere utility is as foolish as to dress for mere utility.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “To remember that I used to like avocados with a touch of walnut oil only adds to my shame. Even.”

70. “To remember that I used to like avocados with a touch of walnut oil only adds to my shame. Even.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “So popular is alliteration that in the 1960s it actually made a grab for political power. In the 1960s a vast radical youth movement began campaigning to do things for the sole reason that they began with the same letter. Ban the bomb. Burn your bra. Power to the people. For a moment there it seemed as though alliteration would change the world. But then the spirit of idealism faded and those who had manned the barricades went off and got jobs in marketing.”

71. “So popular is alliteration that in the 1960s it actually made a grab for political power. In the 1960s a vast radical youth movement began campaigning to do things for the sole reason that they began with the same letter. Ban the bomb. Burn your bra. Power to the people. For a moment there it seemed as though alliteration would change the world. But then the spirit of idealism faded and those who had manned the barricades went off and got jobs in marketing.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “The palindromeis anold tradition: the first thing that man ever said was, probably, “Madam, I’m Adam.” And it has caused terrible distress to even the greatest literary minds.”

72. “The palindromeis anold tradition: the first thing that man ever said was, probably, “Madam, I’m Adam.” And it has caused terrible distress to even the greatest literary minds.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “That’s how Dickens wanted to get his image across, the reader is simply bludgeoned into submission.”

73. “That’s how Dickens wanted to get his image across, the reader is simply bludgeoned into submission.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “But to return to the story: in 1776 the Americans were revolting. The British Navy sailed to New York, but so revolting were the Americans that the Brits decided to stay in the channel and blockade the harbour.”

74. “But to return to the story: in 1776 the Americans were revolting. The British Navy sailed to New York, but so revolting were the Americans that the Brits decided to stay in the channel and blockade the harbour.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “That the West thinks that seven is lucky and the Chinese think eight is shows both that numerology is wrong and that it’s popular across the world. Numbers feel mysterious and significant. So all you need to do to sound mysterious and significant is to pick a number, any number.”

75. “That the West thinks that seven is lucky and the Chinese think eight is shows both that numerology is wrong and that it’s popular across the world. Numbers feel mysterious and significant. So all you need to do to sound mysterious and significant is to pick a number, any number.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Basically, Plato thought that if you can trust a fellow when he’s drunk, you can trust him anywhere.”

76. “Basically, Plato thought that if you can trust a fellow when he’s drunk, you can trust him anywhere.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “The sins of a society are revealed in its pieties.”

77. “The sins of a society are revealed in its pieties.”

— Mark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Quote: “Anyway, they invented civilization and it’s been downhill ever since.”

78. “Anyway, they invented civilization and it’s been downhill ever since.”

— Mark Forsyth

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