Top 280 Maureen Johnson Quotes (2026 Update)
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251. “It is so cold. So cold that the Department of Temperature Acknowledgment and Regulation in your brain gets the readings and says, “I can’t deal with this. I’m out of here.”

— Maureen Johnson

252. “The idea that Izzy had a full life that didn’t revolve around David had somehow never occurred to Stevie. Love made her stupid.”

— Maureen Johnson

253. “Some guys surprise you like that.”

— Maureen Johnson

254. “God,” I said. “Why are all guys so easy like that?”

— Maureen Johnson

255. “Campers screamed when they swam and played and sometimes simply for the sake of screaming.”

— Maureen Johnson

256. “Once threw a mug of tea at a policeman.”

— Maureen Johnson

257. “Told her I would wait as long as it took. She told me not to bother, but I waited anyway.”

— Maureen Johnson

258. “Although it was very cold, he wore no coat. I think some English people think coats are for the weak.”

— Maureen Johnson

259. “Department of Pain and the Processing Thereof.”

— Maureen Johnson

260. “I am out of ideas and need to conserve my energy so I can freak out more efficiently.”

— Maureen Johnson

261. “Could you burn logs after a murder?”

— Maureen Johnson

262. “They were poets – machine-gun poets who brooked no compromise, who rode any road they wished, who drove laughing into the sun.”

— Maureen Johnson

263. “This realization burned.”

— Maureen Johnson

264. “In English Murder Villages, vats exist for the express purpose of drowning people – in beer, in pickling brine, in whiskey, in jam. This is doubly true if the vat was built by fourteenth-century monks.”

— Maureen Johnson

265. “David had, in fact, done the Sherlock thing that Stevie had dismissed for herself, specifically, the BBC one.”

— Maureen Johnson

266. “It was a good brain, but it had only two modes – fog and frenzy.”

— Maureen Johnson

267. “Felt the world swirling with snow.”

— Maureen Johnson

268. “Didn’t say we tell each other everything.”

— Maureen Johnson

269. “Murderers aren’t a type. They’re anyone.”

— Maureen Johnson

270. “Oh, I like it,” Nate said. “Snow makes it socially acceptable to stay in.”

— Maureen Johnson

271. “Office of Confusion and Panic.”

— Maureen Johnson

272. “But I was fuelled by the power of confusion and panic, which, like I said is always ready and waiting to get to work.”

— Maureen Johnson

273. “Villagers love to remember the glorious old days, when they used to skewer one another with sticks, fire muskets into one another’s faces, and cut off their neighbors’ heads in the name of king or country or whatever they were into back then.”

— Maureen Johnson

274. “I still have a whopping bad case of what you call scag magnetism. I thought i had gotten rid of it there, but it looks like scary guys still materialize from thin air in my presence. They are drawn to me. I am the North Pole, and they are the explorers of love.”

— Maureen Johnson

275. “I’m still going to eat a lot of tacos,” Nate said. “But I’m going to do it judgmentally.”

— Maureen Johnson

276. “Again, I noticed and again, I didn’t really care. But he did make more of an impact than the snow.”

— Maureen Johnson

277. “And then the surface beneath us just went away.”

— Maureen Johnson

278. “They all seemed to have a deep, penetrating knowledge of everything going on in the world – politics, art, books, music. They all sounded so self-assured. That wasn’t surprising, considering that they were older and successful.”

— Maureen Johnson

279. “It was as if the news itself wanted to reassure me. Even Jack the Ripper himself had reappeared as part of the greeting committee.”

— Maureen Johnson

280. “Good resume,” he said, not sounding all that impressed. “But what’s he like?” Oh, God. This conversation was going to go on.”

— Maureen Johnson

281. “If he hadn’t dragged me, I would never have made it up the hill.”

— Maureen Johnson

282. “The sky was white instead of the crazy pink of the night before.”

— Maureen Johnson

283. “Stevie had never put these Stevies together to assemble a portrait of herself – her choices had not been failures. They had been choices. It was all one Stevie, and that Stevie was worthwhile.”

— Maureen Johnson

284. “Gators are just something you have to accept where I come from. Most don’t go anywhere near the houses, even though there are lots of delicious children and dogs there. Every once in a while, though, an alligator has a lightbulb moment and decides to take a stroll and see the world a bit.”

— Maureen Johnson

285. “She’s like the Hulk,” Nate explained. “But instead of transforming when she gets mad, it’s when she sees crafts. And she doesn’t turn big and green. She just makes crafts. So not like the Hulk, really.”

— Maureen Johnson

286. “Do guys really believe that if they are the only male in the area that girls will suddenly crawl on top of them? Like we scavenge for lone survivors and reward them with group make-out sessions?”

— Maureen Johnson

287. “She never drank tea at home. Tea was for England.”

— Maureen Johnson

288. “They’re English,” David said, sitting on the bed. “That keep calm and carry on thing is real. You know. Don’t talk about stuff that’s bad. Talk about tennis! That’s how they are.”

— Maureen Johnson

289. “He was paying attention. It felt foreign, a little embarrassingly intimate, but kind of great. My eyes filled up.”

— Maureen Johnson

290. “Debbie was one of those parents who still hadn’t quite grasped that using the internet was not exactly wizardry, and that we could all find anything online.”

— Maureen Johnson