Top 100 Meg Jay Quotes (2024 Update)
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Meg Jay Quote: “With all the attention paid to the urban tribe, however, many twentysomethings have limited themselves to huddling together with like-minded peers. Some are in almost constant contact with the same few people. But while the urban tribe helps us survive, it does not help us thrive. The urban tribe may bring us soup when we are sick, but it is the people we hardly know – those who never make it into our tribe – who will swiftly and dramatically change our lives for the better.”

51. “With all the attention paid to the urban tribe, however, many twentysomethings have limited themselves to huddling together with like-minded peers. Some are in almost constant contact with the same few people. But while the urban tribe helps us survive, it does not help us thrive. The urban tribe may bring us soup when we are sick, but it is the people we hardly know – those who never make it into our tribe – who will swiftly and dramatically change our lives for the better.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Society is structured to distract people from the decisions that have a huge impact on happiness in order to focus attention on the decisions that have a marginal impact on happiness.”

52. “Society is structured to distract people from the decisions that have a huge impact on happiness in order to focus attention on the decisions that have a marginal impact on happiness.”

Meg Jay Quote: “We become what we hear and see and do every day. We don’t become what we don’t hear and see and do every day. In neuroscience, this is known as “survival of the busiest.”

53. “We become what we hear and see and do every day. We don’t become what we don’t hear and see and do every day. In neuroscience, this is known as “survival of the busiest.”

Meg Jay Quote: “30 is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family.”

54. “30 is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family.”

Meg Jay Quote: “The twentysomething years have never been more in the zeitgeist. Popular culture has an almost obsessive focus on the twenties such that these freebie years appear to be all that exist. Child celebrities and everyday kids spend their youth acting twenty, while mature adults and the Real Housewives dress, and are sculpted, to look twenty-nine. The young look older and the old look younger, collapsing the adult lifespan into one long twentysomething ride.”

55. “The twentysomething years have never been more in the zeitgeist. Popular culture has an almost obsessive focus on the twenties such that these freebie years appear to be all that exist. Child celebrities and everyday kids spend their youth acting twenty, while mature adults and the Real Housewives dress, and are sculpted, to look twenty-nine. The young look older and the old look younger, collapsing the adult lifespan into one long twentysomething ride.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Sometimes the best way to help people is to slow them down long enough to examine their own thinking.”

56. “Sometimes the best way to help people is to slow them down long enough to examine their own thinking.”

Meg Jay Quote: “I kept thinking of an even more robust research finding: that being on the high end of the Neuroticism dimension is toxic for relationships. Neuroticism, or the tendency to be anxious, stressed, critical, and moody, is far more predictive of relationship unhappiness and dissolution than is personality dissimilarity.”

57. “I kept thinking of an even more robust research finding: that being on the high end of the Neuroticism dimension is toxic for relationships. Neuroticism, or the tendency to be anxious, stressed, critical, and moody, is far more predictive of relationship unhappiness and dissolution than is personality dissimilarity.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Ian pretended that not knowing what to do was the hard part when, somewhere inside, I think he knew that making a choice about something is when the real uncertainty begins. The more terrifying uncertainty is wanting something and not knowing how to get it. It is working toward something even though there is no sure thing. When we make choices, we open ourselves up to hard work and failure and heartbreak, so sometimes it feels easier not to know, not to choose, and not to do.”

58. “Ian pretended that not knowing what to do was the hard part when, somewhere inside, I think he knew that making a choice about something is when the real uncertainty begins. The more terrifying uncertainty is wanting something and not knowing how to get it. It is working toward something even though there is no sure thing. When we make choices, we open ourselves up to hard work and failure and heartbreak, so sometimes it feels easier not to know, not to choose, and not to do.”

Meg Jay Quote: “If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. – Dale Carnegie, writer and lecturer.”

59. “If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. – Dale Carnegie, writer and lecturer.”

Meg Jay Quote: “The post-twentysomething brain is still plastic, of course, but the opportunity is that never again in our lifetime will the brain offer up countless new connections and see what we make of them. Never again will we be so quick to learn new things. Never again will it be so easy to become the people we hope to be. So whatever it is we want to change about ourselves, our twenties are the easiest time to change it.”

60. “The post-twentysomething brain is still plastic, of course, but the opportunity is that never again in our lifetime will the brain offer up countless new connections and see what we make of them. Never again will we be so quick to learn new things. Never again will it be so easy to become the people we hope to be. So whatever it is we want to change about ourselves, our twenties are the easiest time to change it.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Finding someone like you might seem easy, but there is a twist – not just any similarity will do. Dating and married couples do tend to be similar to each other in attractiveness, age, education, political views, religion, and intelligence. So.”

61. “Finding someone like you might seem easy, but there is a twist – not just any similarity will do. Dating and married couples do tend to be similar to each other in attractiveness, age, education, political views, religion, and intelligence. So.”

Meg Jay Quote: “The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty.”

62. “The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the easiest time to change it.”

63. “Whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the easiest time to change it.”

Meg Jay Quote: “The urban tribe may bring us soup when we are sick, but it is the people we hardly know – those who never make it into our tribe – who will swiftly and dramatically change our lives for the better.”

64. “The urban tribe may bring us soup when we are sick, but it is the people we hardly know – those who never make it into our tribe – who will swiftly and dramatically change our lives for the better.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Perhaps this is the true travesty of “social” media: the damage it has done to the social lives of young people just when they need others the most.”

65. “Perhaps this is the true travesty of “social” media: the damage it has done to the social lives of young people just when they need others the most.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Because our twenties are the capstone of this last critical period, they are, as one neurologist said, a time of “great risk and great opportunity.”

66. “Because our twenties are the capstone of this last critical period, they are, as one neurologist said, a time of “great risk and great opportunity.”

Meg Jay Quote: “According to evolutionary theory, the brain is designed to pay special attention to what catches us off-guard, so we can be better prepared to meet the world next time. It even has a built-in novelty detector, a part that sends chemical signals to stimulate memory when new and different things happen.”

67. “According to evolutionary theory, the brain is designed to pay special attention to what catches us off-guard, so we can be better prepared to meet the world next time. It even has a built-in novelty detector, a part that sends chemical signals to stimulate memory when new and different things happen.”

Meg Jay Quote: “The key finding in the study was that the twenty-four-flavor table attracted more attention yet it resulted in fewer buyers. Shoppers flocked to the exciting array, yet most became overwhelmed and dropped out of buying jam altogether. Only 3 percent of those who.”

68. “The key finding in the study was that the twenty-four-flavor table attracted more attention yet it resulted in fewer buyers. Shoppers flocked to the exciting array, yet most became overwhelmed and dropped out of buying jam altogether. Only 3 percent of those who.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Those who use what is called a growth mindset believe that people can change, that success is something to be achieved. Maybe it’s not the case that any person can be anything, but it is still true that within certain parameters, people can learn and grow. For those who have a growth mindset, failures may sting but they are also viewed as opportunities for improvement and change.”

69. “Those who use what is called a growth mindset believe that people can change, that success is something to be achieved. Maybe it’s not the case that any person can be anything, but it is still true that within certain parameters, people can learn and grow. For those who have a growth mindset, failures may sting but they are also viewed as opportunities for improvement and change.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Once she could envision what she wanted her thirtysomething life to look like, what to do with the twentysomething years became more urgent and more defined.”

70. “Once she could envision what she wanted her thirtysomething life to look like, what to do with the twentysomething years became more urgent and more defined.”

Meg Jay Quote: “From countless studies of MRI scans of healthy adolescents and twentysomethings, we now know that the frontal lobe does not finish wiring up until sometime between the ages of twenty and thirty. What this means is that, in our twenties, the quick, hot, impulsive, pleasure-seeking, emotional brain is ready to go, while the slow, cool, rational, forward-thinking frontal lobe is still a work in progress.”

71. “From countless studies of MRI scans of healthy adolescents and twentysomethings, we now know that the frontal lobe does not finish wiring up until sometime between the ages of twenty and thirty. What this means is that, in our twenties, the quick, hot, impulsive, pleasure-seeking, emotional brain is ready to go, while the slow, cool, rational, forward-thinking frontal lobe is still a work in progress.”

Meg Jay Quote: “The twenties are an inflection point – the great reorganization – a time when the experiences we have disproportionately influence the adult lives we will lead.”

72. “The twenties are an inflection point – the great reorganization – a time when the experiences we have disproportionately influence the adult lives we will lead.”

Meg Jay Quote: “How does what you did before relate to what you want to do now, and how might that get you to what you want to do next? Everyone realizes most applicants don’t actually know what their careers will look like. Even the ones who think they do often change their minds.”

73. “How does what you did before relate to what you want to do now, and how might that get you to what you want to do next? Everyone realizes most applicants don’t actually know what their careers will look like. Even the ones who think they do often change their minds.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Most have come of age on their devices, where they are bombarded not just with skydiving selfies, but with headlines about economic, political, climatic, and global doom.”

74. “Most have come of age on their devices, where they are bombarded not just with skydiving selfies, but with headlines about economic, political, climatic, and global doom.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Talia’s friends invalidated what was real about Talia by assuming that searching was better than finding, friends were better than family, and adventure was better than going home.”

75. “Talia’s friends invalidated what was real about Talia by assuming that searching was better than finding, friends were better than family, and adventure was better than going home.”

Meg Jay Quote: “If you are paying attention to your life as a twentysomething, the real glory days are still to come.”

76. “If you are paying attention to your life as a twentysomething, the real glory days are still to come.”

Meg Jay Quote: “The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”

77. “The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Older spouses may be more mature, but later marriage has its own challenges. Rather than growing together while their twentysomething selves are still forming, partners who marry older may be more set in their ways.”

78. “Older spouses may be more mature, but later marriage has its own challenges. Rather than growing together while their twentysomething selves are still forming, partners who marry older may be more set in their ways.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Every time somebody on Facebook changes their status to engaged or married, I panic. I’m convinced Facebook was invented to make single people feel bad about their lives.”

79. “Every time somebody on Facebook changes their status to engaged or married, I panic. I’m convinced Facebook was invented to make single people feel bad about their lives.”

Meg Jay Quote: “At the time, I thought this man was not a particularly good backcountry ranger. Now I have to laugh. He was telling me what I say to my twentysomething clients every day, what this book has been all about. The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You are deciding your life right now.”

80. “At the time, I thought this man was not a particularly good backcountry ranger. Now I have to laugh. He was telling me what I say to my twentysomething clients every day, what this book has been all about. The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You are deciding your life right now.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Confidence doesn’t come from the inside out. It comes from the outside in. People feel less anxious – and more confident – on the inside when they can point to things they have done well on the outside.”

81. “Confidence doesn’t come from the inside out. It comes from the outside in. People feel less anxious – and more confident – on the inside when they can point to things they have done well on the outside.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Twentysomethings who don’t feel anxious and incompetent at work are usually overconfident or underemployed.”

82. “Twentysomethings who don’t feel anxious and incompetent at work are usually overconfident or underemployed.”

Meg Jay Quote: “I think part of making any decision in your twenties is realizing there is no twenty-four flavor table. It’s a myth.”

83. “I think part of making any decision in your twenties is realizing there is no twenty-four flavor table. It’s a myth.”

Meg Jay Quote: “There is a big difference between having a life in your thirties and starting a life in your thirties.”

84. “There is a big difference between having a life in your thirties and starting a life in your thirties.”

Meg Jay Quote: “In my practice, I notice that many twentysomethings – especially those who surround themselves with other twentysomethings – have trouble anticipating life. They need memento vivi – or ways to remember they are going to live. They need something to remind them that life is going to continue on past their twenties, and that it might even be great.”

85. “In my practice, I notice that many twentysomethings – especially those who surround themselves with other twentysomethings – have trouble anticipating life. They need memento vivi – or ways to remember they are going to live. They need something to remind them that life is going to continue on past their twenties, and that it might even be great.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Compared to their twentysomething selves, women are about half as fertile at thirty, about one-quarter as fertile at thirty-five, and about one-eighth as fertile at forty.”

86. “Compared to their twentysomething selves, women are about half as fertile at thirty, about one-quarter as fertile at thirty-five, and about one-eighth as fertile at forty.”

Meg Jay Quote: “In one way or another, almost every twentysomething client I have wonders, ‘Will things work out for me?’ The uncertainty behind that question is what makes twentysomething life so difficult, but it is also what makes twentysomething action so possible and so necessary. It’s unsettling to not know the future and, in a way, even more daunting to consider that what we are doing with our twentysomething lives might be determining it.”

87. “In one way or another, almost every twentysomething client I have wonders, ‘Will things work out for me?’ The uncertainty behind that question is what makes twentysomething life so difficult, but it is also what makes twentysomething action so possible and so necessary. It’s unsettling to not know the future and, in a way, even more daunting to consider that what we are doing with our twentysomething lives might be determining it.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Unthought knowns are those things we know about ourselves but forget somehow.”

88. “Unthought knowns are those things we know about ourselves but forget somehow.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Every problem was at one point a solution.”

89. “Every problem was at one point a solution.”

Meg Jay Quote: “What would an A in your twenties even mean?” I wondered out aloud. “I don’t know. That’s the problem. I just feel like I shouldn’t be less-than.”

90. “What would an A in your twenties even mean?” I wondered out aloud. “I don’t know. That’s the problem. I just feel like I shouldn’t be less-than.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Success often came not from being in the right place at the right time, but from being able to recognise being in the right place at the right time.”

91. “Success often came not from being in the right place at the right time, but from being able to recognise being in the right place at the right time.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Often the clients with the toughest family backgrounds know the least about how to get what they want in love. But these are the clients who need to be the most careful. They are the very clients who need to partner well.”

92. “Often the clients with the toughest family backgrounds know the least about how to get what they want in love. But these are the clients who need to be the most careful. They are the very clients who need to partner well.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Life stories with themes of ruin can trap us. Life stories that are triumphant can transform us.”

93. “Life stories with themes of ruin can trap us. Life stories that are triumphant can transform us.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Every day, I work with twentysomethings who feel horribly deceived by the idea that their twenties would be the best years of their lives.”

94. “Every day, I work with twentysomethings who feel horribly deceived by the idea that their twenties would be the best years of their lives.”

Meg Jay Quote: “As I gathered up my maps and turned to go, I hesitated and asked the ranger, “Am I going to make it?” He looked at me and said, “You haven’t decided yet.”

95. “As I gathered up my maps and turned to go, I hesitated and asked the ranger, “Am I going to make it?” He looked at me and said, “You haven’t decided yet.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Gage’s social recovery, and countless subsequent studies of the brain, tell us that the brain changes in response to the environment. This is especially true in the twentysomething years as the brain caps off its second – and final – growth spurt.”

96. “Gage’s social recovery, and countless subsequent studies of the brain, tell us that the brain changes in response to the environment. This is especially true in the twentysomething years as the brain caps off its second – and final – growth spurt.”

Meg Jay Quote: “This is a problem because, while the urban tribe may be the most supportive figures in our twenties, they are not the most transformative. The urban tribe may bring us soup when we are sick, but it is the people we hardly know – those who never make it into our tribe – who will swiftly and dramatically change our lives for the better.”

97. “This is a problem because, while the urban tribe may be the most supportive figures in our twenties, they are not the most transformative. The urban tribe may bring us soup when we are sick, but it is the people we hardly know – those who never make it into our tribe – who will swiftly and dramatically change our lives for the better.”

Meg Jay Quote: “All the thinking I did was really debilitating and unproductive. The one thing I have learned is that you can’t think your way through life. The only way to figure out what to do is to do – something.”

98. “All the thinking I did was really debilitating and unproductive. The one thing I have learned is that you can’t think your way through life. The only way to figure out what to do is to do – something.”

Meg Jay Quote: “Most twentysomethings yearn for a feeling of community, and they cling to their strong ties to feel more connected. Ironically, being enmeshed with a group can actually enhance feelings of alienation, because we – and our tribe – become insular and detached. Over time, our initial feeling of being part of a group becomes a sense of disconnection with the larger world.”

99. “Most twentysomethings yearn for a feeling of community, and they cling to their strong ties to feel more connected. Ironically, being enmeshed with a group can actually enhance feelings of alienation, because we – and our tribe – become insular and detached. Over time, our initial feeling of being part of a group becomes a sense of disconnection with the larger world.”

Meg Jay Quote: “No one I know really knew what they wanted to do when they graduated. What people are doing now is usually not something that they’d ever even heard of in undergrad.”

100. “No one I know really knew what they wanted to do when they graduated. What people are doing now is usually not something that they’d ever even heard of in undergrad.”

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