“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. About everything. About your poor cat, about that horrendous funeral my dad concocted, and really about my lunatic father in general. I’m sorry you had to move in next to a family of complete weirdos. I don’t know how you’ve put up with all of it. I mean, you never even complained about the busted purple coffin we had sitting in the middle of our front lawn.”
