“What was recognized as success – the applause, the exclamations, the job well done; she was already off the horse, pumping people’s hands in congratulations – did not fill her. Did not even begin to fill her. What she wanted was the despair, or something else that was found there. Something that lived with despair. But the moment she was inside it, she failed to find what it was she wanted so badly. And so she would ride again.”
