“I’m crying, and it’s not nice little girl crying. Powerful, terrible feelings take me over and explode out of my body, feelings I’ve always been scared to let out because they’re so strong. The crying is huge and snotty and loud. I hit everything around me, grabbing a tree and banging my head on it, kicking bushes that lash back at me. The pain feels good, soothing the bone-deep grief and fiery burning rage as all the things that are wrong with my world erupt all at once.”