“But then one day I hear him doing the dishes, and here’s what I do not think: Yes! No, there is no yes at all. I think: He is running the water too long. He’ll damage my nice pan. He doesn’t know where anything goes. I am so accustomed to thinking of him as unwilling and unable – useless – that I find it is very hard to stop... I have to fight the impulse to go into the kitchen and take over, or oversee. The impulse is not an abstraction. It feels like an itch inside my fingers.”
