“I fear,” he told me, “never experiencing love or appreciation or affection. On one level – on one day – I will believe myself unworthy of them, so my fears appear justified. On another day, I will very grandly believe I have been unjustifiably denied these things, deserve them in spades, and aggressively pursue them. The aggression I display at these times initially excites me, but afterwards – after the manic, muscular display – I am horrified.”
