“I used to think that neglecting to remember details about a person belonged to a minor class of offenses, like mixing up a name or forgetting someone’s trade. It belied a lack of attention. What is the harm, after all, of someone mistaking you for a virgin? But unawareness is not the same as refusing to see. There is plenty of harm in looking in a person’s direction and blurring your eyes until you see what you want to see, or until you see nothing at all.”
