“I practiced what I would say if the worst occurred: Oh, yes, that conveyer belt always stops right there. This is the part where I take a sprint across the crematory and slam myself into the box containing your mother and shoot her into the flames. Common procedure, sir; worry not.”

“I practiced what I would say if the worst occurred: Oh, yes, that conveyer belt always stops right there. This is the part where I take a sprint across the crematory and slam myself into the box containing your mother and shoot her into the flames. Common procedure, sir; worry not.”

— Caitlin Doughty