“I once attempted to flirt with her our freshman year of college, complimenting her sandals before class. She didn’t respond, just glared at me with a scowl that would’ve liquefied helium, for which I repaid her many years later by marrying into her family and sitting next to her every Thanksgiving.”

“I once attempted to flirt with her our freshman year of college, complimenting her sandals before class. She didn’t respond, just glared at me with a scowl that would’ve liquefied helium, for which I repaid her many years later by marrying into her family and sitting next to her every Thanksgiving.”

— Harrison Scott Key