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“God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

Featured in: D.L. Moody Quotes

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

“God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

D.L. Moody Quote: “God doesn’t expect the impossible from us. He wants us to expect the impossible from Him!”

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1. “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Humor Quotes

2. “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Humor Quotes

3. “If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Creative Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

4. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Clever Quotes, Witty Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Monday Quotes

5. “Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Demotivational Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes

6. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Silly Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Yearbook Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Senior Quotes

7. “43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Funny Friday Quotes

8. “If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Humor Quotes

9. “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Humor Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Funny Motivational Quotes

10. “If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Imagination Quotes, Crazy Quotes

11. “Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Depression Quotes, Anger Quotes

12. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes

13. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes, Humility Quotes, Quotes About Laughter

14. “Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes

15. “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Funny Yearbook Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes, Funny Tuesday Quotes

16. “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes

17. “When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Demotivational Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes

18. “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Humor Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Funny Monday Quotes

19. “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Quotes About Writing, Sarcastic Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

20. “It’s like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.”

— Steven Wright

21. “Light travels faster than sound. Isn’t that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?”

— Steven Wright

22. “If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes

23. “Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”

— Steven Wright

24. “Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.”

— Steven Wright

25. “I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”

— Steven Wright

26. “The speed of time is one second per second.”

— Steven Wright

27. “If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Summer Quotes

28. “If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.”

— Steven Wright

29. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.”

— Steven Wright

30. “I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen it.”

— Steven Wright

31. “You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...”

— Steven Wright

32. “How come abbreviated is such a long word?”

— Steven Wright

33. “I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It’s a start...”

— Steven Wright

34. “No one is listening until you make a mistake.”

— Steven Wright

35. “Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.”

— Steven Wright

36. “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”

— Steven Wright

37. “On the other hand, you have different fingers.”

— Steven Wright

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes

38. “What’s another word for Thesaurus?”

— Steven Wright

39. “I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”

— Steven Wright

40. “I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.”

— Steven Wright

41. “OK, so what’s the speed of dark?”

— Steven Wright

42. “The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.”

— Steven Wright

43. “I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.”

— Steven Wright

44. “Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.”

— Steven Wright

45. “There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

— Steven Wright

46. “If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”

— Steven Wright

47. “Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.”

— Steven Wright

48. “Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?”

— Steven Wright

49. “Half the people you know are below average.”

— Steven Wright

50. “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”

— Steven Wright

D.L. Moody Quotes

D.L. Moody Quotes

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Christian Quotes

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Scripture Quotes

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D.L. Moody Quotes

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Christian Quotes

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Scripture Quotes

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Prosperity Quotes

Sunday Morning Quotes

Sunday Morning Quotes

Short Positive Quotes

Short Positive Quotes

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Make A Difference Quotes

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Acceptance Quotes

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