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Top 160 Richard Osman Quotes (2026 Update)
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Richard Osman Quote: “He doesn’t get casinos or infidelity. Why earn money, just to lose it, and why look for love, just to betray it?”

151. “He doesn’t get casinos or infidelity. Why earn money, just to lose it, and why look for love, just to betray it?”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “She shook off her faith slowly, like the leaves from a tree, until nothing remained.”

152. “She shook off her faith slowly, like the leaves from a tree, until nothing remained.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “I need you to talk less. I have a low boredom threshold. I was born with it, the doctors can’t do nothing.”

153. “I need you to talk less. I have a low boredom threshold. I was born with it, the doctors can’t do nothing.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Connie leans forward again, getting as close to Ron as she possibly can. She hisses, “When I get out, you’re a dead man.” Ron looks back at her. “Well, I’m seventy-five, and you’ll be doing thirty years so, yeah, agreed.”

154. “Connie leans forward again, getting as close to Ron as she possibly can. She hisses, “When I get out, you’re a dead man.” Ron looks back at her. “Well, I’m seventy-five, and you’ll be doing thirty years so, yeah, agreed.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Have you ever shot anyone before?’ Rosie asks Steve, while snapping through Amy’s cable ties. ‘No,’ says Steve. ‘But the Coldplay T-shirt made it easier.”

155. “Have you ever shot anyone before?’ Rosie asks Steve, while snapping through Amy’s cable ties. ‘No,’ says Steve. ‘But the Coldplay T-shirt made it easier.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “She closes her eyes in silent apology to her husband. I’m still here, darling. Still here, while you are gone. I suspect I should just make the best of it.”

156. “She closes her eyes in silent apology to her husband. I’m still here, darling. Still here, while you are gone. I suspect I should just make the best of it.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “The desk sergeant sees that this is a discussion that could end badly in so many ways, and chooses an easy life.”

157. “The desk sergeant sees that this is a discussion that could end badly in so many ways, and chooses an easy life.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “They can take me as they find me,′ says Ron. ‘I’ve earned this face, it tells a story.”

158. “They can take me as they find me,′ says Ron. ‘I’ve earned this face, it tells a story.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “She looks over at Bogdan, sitting there silent in his sunglasses like Mr. Darcy.”

159. “She looks over at Bogdan, sitting there silent in his sunglasses like Mr. Darcy.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “I fear I might be barking up the wrong tree with this one. I just hope I can bark up the right tree one of these days. Before I run out of trees. Or before I stop barking altogether.”

160. “I fear I might be barking up the wrong tree with this one. I just hope I can bark up the right tree one of these days. Before I run out of trees. Or before I stop barking altogether.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “According to Wikipedia, she is actually five years younger than she was seven years ago. Rosie likes to think of herself as “age-fluid.”

161. “According to Wikipedia, she is actually five years younger than she was seven years ago. Rosie likes to think of herself as “age-fluid.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “There comes a point when you look at your photograph albums more often than you watch the news. When you opt out of time, and let it carry on doing its thing while you get on with yours. You simply stop dancing to the beat of the drum.”

162. “There comes a point when you look at your photograph albums more often than you watch the news. When you opt out of time, and let it carry on doing its thing while you get on with yours. You simply stop dancing to the beat of the drum.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Every criminal wants to tell the truth eventually. Enough of the truth to be seen but not enough of the truth to be convicted.”

163. “Every criminal wants to tell the truth eventually. Enough of the truth to be seen but not enough of the truth to be convicted.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Donna, like any modern woman, I am any number of things, as and when the need arises. We have to be chameleons, don’t we?”

164. “Donna, like any modern woman, I am any number of things, as and when the need arises. We have to be chameleons, don’t we?”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “What unfortunate timing. If she’d known she was going to die this morning, she would have ordered the pancakes.”

165. “What unfortunate timing. If she’d known she was going to die this morning, she would have ordered the pancakes.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “The back is ramrod straight. It would be the most uncomfortable chair that Chris had ever sat in, had he not just made the flight to Cyprus on Ryanair.”

166. “The back is ramrod straight. It would be the most uncomfortable chair that Chris had ever sat in, had he not just made the flight to Cyprus on Ryanair.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Life goes on, until it doesn’t.”

167. “Life goes on, until it doesn’t.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Steve is grateful that at least he feels loved. Because if you don’t feel loved, it’s difficult to feel anything at all.”

168. “Steve is grateful that at least he feels loved. Because if you don’t feel loved, it’s difficult to feel anything at all.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “I suppose that’s how people get away with forging things? It suits everybody to pretend it’s real.”

169. “I suppose that’s how people get away with forging things? It suits everybody to pretend it’s real.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “I’m just organized,’ says Joyce. ‘It’s out of fashion. If I say I’m going to Zumba, I go to Zumba.”

170. “I’m just organized,’ says Joyce. ‘It’s out of fashion. If I say I’m going to Zumba, I go to Zumba.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Life continues, whatever you do. It’s a bulldozer like that.”

171. “Life continues, whatever you do. It’s a bulldozer like that.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “He had read a headline about Diet Coke once, which was so worrying he had chosen not to read the article.”

172. “He had read a headline about Diet Coke once, which was so worrying he had chosen not to read the article.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “There is only so much reading you can do, so many cups of tea you can make, before the loneliness crowds in around you. You breathe it in, you cry it out, and the clock ticks slowly, slowly, until you are allowed to sleep. He hadn’t even dressed up on Christmas Day. Who was there to dress up for?”

173. “There is only so much reading you can do, so many cups of tea you can make, before the loneliness crowds in around you. You breathe it in, you cry it out, and the clock ticks slowly, slowly, until you are allowed to sleep. He hadn’t even dressed up on Christmas Day. Who was there to dress up for?”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “You’re not hungover?’ You drank just as much as me.’ ‘The moment I got in I drank two raw eggs with Tabasco sauce,’ says Elizabeth. Joyce nods. ‘I ate some wedding cake, then had a Baileys.”

174. “You’re not hungover?’ You drank just as much as me.’ ‘The moment I got in I drank two raw eggs with Tabasco sauce,’ says Elizabeth. Joyce nods. ‘I ate some wedding cake, then had a Baileys.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Anytime you would see a photograph of him in the paper, the caption would always be something like, “Talks collapsed late last night.”

175. “Anytime you would see a photograph of him in the paper, the caption would always be something like, “Talks collapsed late last night.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “The only way anyone can afford to buy a house these days is to have bought it fifteen years ago.”

176. “The only way anyone can afford to buy a house these days is to have bought it fifteen years ago.”

— Richard Osman

Richard Osman Quote: “Yes, you never know when you might need pictures of corpses,′ agrees Bogdan.”

177. “Yes, you never know when you might need pictures of corpses,′ agrees Bogdan.”

— Richard Osman

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