Top 100 Seth Grahame-Smith Quotes (2025 Update)
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51. “Perspective,” said Duell. “That’s your problem, ’tis. I’m a vampire. I love killin’, I love fuckin’, and I love watching the world go by. That’s what I am. Question is, what the ’ell are you?”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

52. “By being human, I was actually being inhumane. My hesitation to embrace my new abilities was causing needless suffering. Once you cross that moral threshold – once you decide to kill a man who hasn’t threatened or wronged you – better to do it quickly, or whatever moral high ground you’re standing on gets washed away by their blood.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

53. “Don’t be alarmed, Mr. Sturges. Some of my closest friends are dead.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

54. “History remembers Abe’s towering intellect but forgets that, in those days, he was more towering than intellectual.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

55. “I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these. What have we to do but stay indoors and read till the cure is at last discovered?”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

56. “The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

57. “Your quarrel is with God. I merely wish to offer Him the opportunity to judge you.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

58. “But if you read Jane Austen, you know that she had a wicked sense of humor. Not only was she funny, but her early writing was very dark and had a gothic tone to it.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

59. “I would much prefer their minds to be engaged in the deadly arts than clouded with dreams of marriage and fortune, as your own so clearly is!”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

60. “Surely life has taught you that a thing can be both beautiful and vile.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

61. “Movie characters rarely get to think out loud or talk very much about their emotions. Instead they have to, very briefly, show their feelings through their action or through dialog.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

62. “That righteous anger quickly sharpens into determination. Determination, of course, being nothing more than anger with brakes and a steering wheel.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

63. “There’s something about the way blood tastes in New York City. It’s unlike any blood anywhere else in the world.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

64. “Mr. Bingley observed the desserts his poor servants had been attending to at the time of their demise – a delightful array of tarts, exotic fruits and pies, sadly soiled by blood and brains, and thus unusable.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

65. “I’ve always enjoyed reading history, particularly presidential biographies.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

66. “She remembered the lead ammunition in her pocket and offered it to him. “Your balls, Mr. Darcy?” He reached out and closed her hand around them, and offered, “They belong to you, Miss Bennet.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

67. “She stood there for a moment, conflicted and confused. A victim of you and inexperience and a deep desire – a need- to believe that everything he was saying was, in fact, true.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

68. “If you write really good material, the rest just falls into place. There’s really no trick to it.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

69. “Father may have been wanting in some things, but here he was masterful. Night upon night, I marveled at his power to hold listeners in rapt attention. He could tell a story with such detail, such flourish, that afterwards a man could swear it had been his own memory, and not a tale at all.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

70. “There are so many stories to tell in the worlds of science fiction, the worlds of fantasy and horror that to confine yourself to even doing historical revisionist fiction, whatever you want to call it – mash-ups, gimmick lit, absurdist fiction – I don’t know if I want to do that anymore.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

71. “Famous murderers are only famous because they get caught. The best killers are those whose names we shall never know.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

72. “It may perhaps be pleasant, but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

73. “We pore through libraries, dissecting the classics” Henry Sturges- vampire.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

74. “Henry O. Sturges, born in England, March 2nd, 1563. Landed at Roanoke, July 27th, 1587. Friend to the American Revolution, present at the Battles of Trenton and Yorktown, staunch supporter of the North in its hour of need, adviser to presidents, a decorated soldier who distinguished himself in the trenches of the Great War, and member of the Union Brotherhood – a collective of vampires dedicated to preserving the freedom of man and his dominion over the earth.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

75. “And though it would not be long before even the daft Mr. Collins would discover her condition, and be forced to behead her, she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and her ever deepening lust for tender morsels of savory brains had not yet lost their charm.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

76. “All I ask is that my final months be happy ones, and that I be permitted a husband who will see to my proper Christian beheading and burial.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

77. “Halloween, the one night when we embrace the darkness from which all of America is descended. October is the gateway to the wonderful, mystical finale of the American year. A place where life ends and the celebration of life briefly begins.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

78. “Jane and Elizabeth tried to explain that all five of them were capable of fending for themselves; that they could make tolerable fortunes as bodyguards, assassins, or mercenaries if need be.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

79. “My job on ‘Dark Shadows’ was to make it fun and funny, first and foremost. It can still be dark and it can still even be gory and gothic at times, but it also needed to be fun and it needed to be an experience that people would enjoy having.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

80. “I think any period in history can be adapted into interesting fiction, as long as you approach the actual history with respect.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

81. “If I have wounded your sister’s feelings, it was done only as a consequence of affection for my friend, and the belief that Miss Bennet had been cursed to wander the earth in search of brains.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

82. “If a movie has more characters than an audience can keep track of, the audience will get confused and lose interest in the story.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

83. “My day job is making TV shows.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

84. “That is very true,” replied Elizabeth, “and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine. I dare say I would’ve cut his throat had not the unmentionables distracted me from doing so.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

85. “Either I’m right,” he continued, “and he doesn’t exist, or you’re right, and he’s the kind of God who watches children die. The kind of God who sits around while men like Herod build palaces and good people starve. Either way, he’s not worth worshipping.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

86. “It was a really strange and unique sort of process for me to adapt my own book.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

87. “A Strange Eastern Light “During the time of King Herod, Wise Men from the east came and asked, ‘Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.’” – Matthew 2:1.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

88. “No ninjas! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your safety.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

89. “A man can be whip smart and witty and caught up in the gale of life, chatting up roomfuls of people and making them laugh till their teeth damn near fall out, and at the same time, he can be the world’s loneliest, most miserable creature.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

90. “Oh, a pipe smoker,” said Henry. “Well, that narrows it down.” “Sometimes,” said Doyle, “there is nothing so significant as a trifle.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

91. “I always say that the characters in Jane Austen’s original books are rather like zombies because they live in this bubble of immense wealth and privilege and no matter what’s going on around them they have a singular purpose to maintain their rank and to impress others.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

92. “It’s absurd to think of ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ this classic, beloved book, beset with a zombie uprising. The goal is to make you suspend your disbelief enough to allow you to get lost in the story and believe what you’re reading for a while.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

93. “So I grew up in a very book-friendly environment and my education as a writer was reading. I think that’s the best education. Reading, and taking from the people I admired.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

94. “When she remembered the haughty style of his address, she dreamt of watching his eyes glaze over as she choked the life from his body;.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

95. “He was a cowboy with the soul of a poet. To this day, he is the most American American I’ve ever met.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

96. “I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all mean are created free and equal.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

97. “Yes,” thought Elizabeth, “a summer with so few balls would be miserable indeed for a girl who thinks of little else.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

98. “Any man who has seen the face of death knows better than to seek him out a second time.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

99. “No ninjas! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas!”

— Seth Grahame-Smith

100. “He had decided long before that he was going to loathe her. It was inconvenient therefore that she was kind.”

— Seth Grahame-Smith