Top 300 Shaquille O'Neal Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “Like I’ve always said, what’s hot must go cold.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

102. “If you’ve got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you know what’s going to happen. He’s a Corvette. I’m a brick wall.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

103. “I’m playing like Eric Dampier.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

104. “And if the big dog ain’t me, then the house won’t get guarded period.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

105. “I’m going to be on a mission. I’ve handled my personal vendettas and handled them well. Every challenge you put in front of me, I’ve handled it, dismantled it – ate them, dropped them off in the bathroom and flushed them away.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

106. “I’m still the Dun Dada of all big men.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

107. “Me and Penny are going to be the Kareem and Magic of the ’90s.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

108. “The stats win nothing. I’m still sexy. I’m still great.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

109. “That has nothing to do with basketball. That’s just because I’m sexy.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

110. “I don’t send messages, I’m not a fax machine.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

111. “The problem with kids these days is they don’t have enough fun stuff to do. When I was stationed with my family in Germany, youth basketball programs gave me something to strive to do my best at.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

112. “I’m always ready for a change. I’m Irish. I’m a leprechaun.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

113. “I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

114. “I want to be known as ‘The Big Shakespeare.’ It was Shakespeare that said, ‘Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them.’”

— Shaquille O'Neal

115. “I think it would be a boring game if everybody was the same, just like it would be boring if you guys asked the same dumb questions.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

116. “This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what’s best for them, including me.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

117. “He’s a jokester, and that’s funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

118. “Incense. Books. Just weird.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

119. “If you’re going to hire an assassin, let him go out and kill someone. I can’t be Shaq taking six or seven shots.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

120. “I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it’s not how you start the date, it’s how you finish it sir. A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don’t finish the date – you know what I mean?”

— Shaquille O'Neal

121. “Being here feels like I’m out of prison. This is the right place, the right time, the right team.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

122. “It’s my job to make him look good. He’s a very good looking man, so it’s my job to keep him looking good.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

123. “I am the number one Ninja and I have killed all the Shoguns in front of me.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

124. “Once the Hack-a-Shaq works once, you know I’m going to see it again. The only thing worse for basketball than that defense is the Lack-a-Shaq offense, where I have to go to the bench because of foul trouble. There is no fun in that.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

125. “I was kind of hoping it was Anna Kournikova.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

126. “Afterwards I said Chris Webber was going to leave as a free agent and Sacramento would go back to expansionism.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

127. “We want you all to be in shape and look as good as me. Because I will be walking naked on the beach.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

128. “How can Benedict Arnold be reliable in what he says?”

— Shaquille O'Neal

129. “I’m a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that’s how I am. I’m true.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

130. “I take it personal when people don’t double me. It’s against my religion not to double me. It upsets me. It makes me think they’re saying to themselves I don’t have it anymore.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

131. “I just want everyone to know I’m suing Ruben Studdard. He had his hand on my ass and he wouldn’t let go.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

132. “Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

133. “Nobody’s going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

134. “Write this: Since my boy is the coach, I’m going to try out for the Dolphins next year. Tight end.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

135. “They are that same group, but I’ve got my own rivalristic problems. Is that a word, rivalristic? I’ve got my own rivalristic problems in the Eastern Conference.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

136. “He looks like a woman coach sometimes. I guess he’s just trying to get into certain people’s heads, but it won’t work with me. Like a woman who coaches and cries all the time. He can’t get in my head. He’s a crybaby.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

137. “David Stern should get with the mothers of the NBA and let the moms decide what the dress code should be. I asked my mother if I could wear a chain, and she told me yeah. So I do stuff that my parents allow me to do.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

138. “I don’t know how it is for you earthlings, but where I’m from, strength is mental.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

139. “I started out as a young Ninja and killed all of the Shoguns. I am a Shogun now and I’m holding my spot. There probably won’t be another Shogun after this.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

140. “If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we’re both going to say ouch.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

141. “I was a medium-level juvenile delinquent from Newark who always dreamed about doing a movie. Someone said, ‘Hey, here’s $7 million, come in and do this genie movie.’ What am I going to say, no? So I did it.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

142. “He’s the Italian version of my father. I don’t know if he’s Italian or not.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

143. “We’re just going to come out and play. We know that we’re supposed to win all the games, but if we don’t, we just have to take the next game and focus on what we did wrong in the game before and just try to do better at the next game.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

144. “A lot of times when I buy a lot of toys, I get a little jealous and keep one or two for myself. So I’ve got a couple of drones. I’ve got a couple of remote-control cars. I like to have fun.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

145. “Stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

146. “I don’t get nervous in any situation. There’s no such thing as nerves when you’re playing games.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

147. “I told my wife the other day, I’m the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

148. “There will be a report coming out, and my name will be on it.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

149. “In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together.”

— Shaquille O'Neal

150. “I painted my toenails before Dennis Rodman. One time at training camp, I stubbed my toe and the nail came loose. My mom gave me some toenail hardener, and I painted over it. I scored 40-something points that night, so it became a ritual. Paint my toenails, score 40 points.”

— Shaquille O'Neal