Top 160 Soman Chainani Quotes (2025 Update)
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101. “It’s the curse of being Evil. It makes you torment the ones you love.”

— Soman Chainani

102. “Hurt without reason and you are a beast, not a villian.”

— Soman Chainani

103. “Agatha wondered whether in this room of heroes young and old, Hester was the greatest hero of all.”

— Soman Chainani

104. “Kiko shut her door, her voice echoing from inside: “Mona, Hester has a boyfriend!”

— Soman Chainani

105. “The boys went off to fight with swords while girls had to learn dog barks and owl hoots. No wonder princesses were so impotent in fairy tales, she thought. If all they could do was smile, stand straight, and speak to squirrels, then what choice did they have but to wait for a boy to rescue them?”

— Soman Chainani

106. “But sometimes to keep Evil from getting in, you have to let Good out.”

— Soman Chainani

107. “And yet knowing all these mistakes were yours, beautifully yours, and you came out the better for it... the boy I left behind well on his way to becoming an extraordinary man and an extraordinary king.” Merlin smiled. “If only from your choice of princess alone.”

— Soman Chainani

108. “Looks like you’ve done enough feasting for a lifetime,” snorted Pinocchio. He saw the whole table staring at him. “Did I say that out loud?”

— Soman Chainani

109. “Relax your buttocks, dear boy!” Merlin called back.”

— Soman Chainani

110. “Reaper?” Tedros blurted. “If you think for one second I’m allowing that Satan-worshipper in my castle – ” “Your castle? I thought it was our castle.” “Which means we get a pet we both like.” “No Reaper, no me.” “No you, then.” “You puffed-up, lily-livered, mule-headed – ” Agatha stopped and saw Sophie goggling at the two of them. “I really am better off, aren’t I?” said Sophie. All three of them burst into laughter.”

— Soman Chainani

111. “I’m completely happy on my own, unattached and untroubled by the vagaries of love.”

— Soman Chainani

112. “Sometimes I wonder,” Merlin declared, licking a bit of mustard off his upper lip, “where exactly does the food come from? Is there a fourth dimension where a magic hat goes to fetch it? Or does it simply summon turkeys and bread out of thin air? In which case, what is this sandwich really made of?”

— Soman Chainani

113. “Agatha grimaced. The last thing they needed was this world perishing while they were still in it.”

— Soman Chainani

114. “The old man cursed at her and went back inside. Dot smiled. “He’s such a good friend.”

— Soman Chainani

115. “Because life was fleeting and pointless unless you let yourself enjoy it, savor it, down to its lightest, most insignificant moments.”

— Soman Chainani

116. “No need. I know a liar when I see one.” “Mirrors must be especially challenging, then.”

— Soman Chainani

117. “Please, M,′ said the king, ‘Stay a little longer.”

— Soman Chainani

118. “The truth cannot be spoken. It must be seen.”

— Soman Chainani

119. “There is nothing more attractive to a man than a girl who silently surrenders her power to him. It is what fairy tales are built upon. Girls who have to pass a test to win a man, tests of pain and suffering, trials of fire, while a man waits on the other side of the flames, yawning and scratching his belly, waiting for one to come through.”

— Soman Chainani

120. “You gave me a dead frog for my birthday!” “To remind you we all die and end up rotting underground eaten by maggots so we should enjoy our birthdays while we have them. I found it thoughtful.”

— Soman Chainani

121. “You think he’s your prince? He’s just a puffed-up windbag who can’t find anything better to do than prance around half naked and thrust his sword where it doesn’t belong!”

— Soman Chainani

122. “I love everything about you. Even the terrible parts of you. They’re beautiful as the good parts. I knew from the moment I met you that I couldn’t love anyone else. Not like I love you.”

— Soman Chainani

123. “Isn’t the world upside down enough without it actually being upside down?” Anadil marveled. “Maybe they see things clearer that way,” Hester said. “Eh, I’d say this group is as blind as the rest,” said Anadil. Hester.”

— Soman Chainani

124. “Give yourself permission to be happy. That is the magic spell. Then everything will be possible.”

— Soman Chainani

125. “He was stubborn, rash, prideful, overemotional, and had poor instincts... and oh, how I’d miss the boy.”

— Soman Chainani

126. “But is it fake if people believe in it? You assume that it is truth that makes a story valuable, because the tales that come from the Storian are true. The Storian writes history. But man is capable of writing stories too and man has no obligation to truth or to history.”

— Soman Chainani

127. “Your sister and my brother think their souls so pure that they can’t be attracted to darkness. But we all have two sides. Even the best of us.”

— Soman Chainani

128. “I’m thinking that without me, you wouldn’t know you were Evil and without you, I wouldn’t know I was Good.”

— Soman Chainani

129. “Inagrotten’ is their word for paradise. a land of infinite night that awaits them on the other side.”

— Soman Chainani

130. “Because your definition of love is small and distorted.”

— Soman Chainani

131. “Good has a habit of presuming how things should be.”

— Soman Chainani

132. “Get on, you dimwit!” she shouted at Sophie. “Without a saddle?” Sophie scoffed. “It’ll leave chafe marks.”

— Soman Chainani

133. “You know how allergic I am to cheap fabric.”

— Soman Chainani

134. “But I’m still yours,” said Agatha. “Because without your love, I’d never have become who I really am. So even if I die, I’ll always be your Good Deed, Sophie. And no evil in the world will ever erase that.”

— Soman Chainani

135. “Tempting a thief is never a good idea, especially a thief who thinks you’ve stolen from him.”

— Soman Chainani

136. “Have you seen my pajamas?” Hort whimpered outside Sophie’s door. “The ones with frogs?” Swaddled in his tattered bedsheets, Sophie stared at a window she’d sealed dark with a black blanket. “My father made them for me,” Hort sniffled. “I can’t sleep without them.”

— Soman Chainani

137. “To deny one’s impulses only makes these impulses stronger.”

— Soman Chainani

138. “It’s supposed to be love at first sight. That’s how fairy tales work!” “Time for Plan B.” “Then again, he didn’t say no,” Sophie said hopefully. “Perhaps it didn’t go so badly.” Dot rushed up. “Everyone’s saying you called Tedros a liar, threw poo in his face, and licked his feet!” Sophie turned to Agatha. “What’s Plan B?”

— Soman Chainani

139. “If love is a connection, as the Dean said, what’s the point if it isn’t real?”

— Soman Chainani

140. “WALLS CAN BE useful,” said Dot as she climbed the fog. “Without a wall, you might not know where to begin. But a wall is a challenge. Put a wall in front of a witch and she’ll find her way past it.”

— Soman Chainani

141. “Tedros and I had a conversation once,” said Hort. “I spent the whole time farting silently, hoping it might suffocate him.”

— Soman Chainani

142. “But Dot was already hugging and kissing them both, her two witch friends squirming and gagging, but doing nothing to free themselves.”

— Soman Chainani

143. “Every year a rascal tries something. But even the sorriest rascal knows there’s no shortcuts to love.”

— Soman Chainani

144. “No one looked like her, which she’d thought didn’t matter, since skin shouldn’t matter. Who cares if others judged her for it? Those who saw her only for her skin were themselves blind.”

— Soman Chainani

145. “So she sticks close to her father, and whenever he gives gold to her sisters for new dresses and boots, he also slips her some, which Mei uses to buy new books, while the rest she buries under a floorboard so she can one day live free of men entirely in a house of her own with a library two stories high and a garden where she can read.”

— Soman Chainani

146. “Agatha kissed Sophie’s cold lips.”

— Soman Chainani

147. “There is an uneasiness that remains after your best friend tries to kill you.”

— Soman Chainani

148. “A castle full of boys can end one of two ways. Either its inhabitants channel aggression into order, discipline, and productivity. Or they degenerate into hormonal apes.”

— Soman Chainani

149. “The best villians make you doubt.”

— Soman Chainani

150. “His castle would be open to her always, his once-nemesis now part of his family, and no doubt fresh challenges to would arise in the course of his reign where the King of Camelot would call upon the Witch of Woods Beyond for her help.”

— Soman Chainani