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Top 60 Steve Toltz Quotes (2026 Update)
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Steve Toltz Quote: “I had begun to perceive my genitals as imaginary beasts in some epic fourteenth-century Scottish poem.”

51. “I had begun to perceive my genitals as imaginary beasts in some epic fourteenth-century Scottish poem.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “That’s what first love is all about. What happens is you meet a love object and immediately a hole inside you starts aching, the hole that is always there but you don’t notice until someone comes along, plugs it up, and then runs away with the plug.”

52. “That’s what first love is all about. What happens is you meet a love object and immediately a hole inside you starts aching, the hole that is always there but you don’t notice until someone comes along, plugs it up, and then runs away with the plug.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “Remembering the past is like watching a Hollywood movie, in that you never see the characters go to the toilet.”

53. “Remembering the past is like watching a Hollywood movie, in that you never see the characters go to the toilet.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “As I left my cab in the traffic jam, the driver made it clear he didn’t like it that I was ending our relationship so unexpectedly.”

54. “As I left my cab in the traffic jam, the driver made it clear he didn’t like it that I was ending our relationship so unexpectedly.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “Why groups never follow the sweet, gentle child is obvious, but I wish it would happen just once.”

55. “Why groups never follow the sweet, gentle child is obvious, but I wish it would happen just once.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “It seems that in our society Christianity has made permanent inroads in the eye-for-an-eye department but has made little progress on the practical application of forgiveness.”

56. “It seems that in our society Christianity has made permanent inroads in the eye-for-an-eye department but has made little progress on the practical application of forgiveness.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “It seems to me you should be able to look at the people in your life and say “I owe you my survival” and “You owe me your survival,” and if you can’t say that, then what the hell are you doing with them?”

57. “It seems to me you should be able to look at the people in your life and say “I owe you my survival” and “You owe me your survival,” and if you can’t say that, then what the hell are you doing with them?”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “Tell me, sonny, what do you think makes good army material?” the recruiting officer asked. “Light cotton?”

58. “Tell me, sonny, what do you think makes good army material?” the recruiting officer asked. “Light cotton?”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “We were on our way to the twentieth floor, sharing the elevator with two suits that had men inside them.”

59. “We were on our way to the twentieth floor, sharing the elevator with two suits that had men inside them.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “She always had the outward appearance of indifference, which I suspect is the real secret to longevity. That or a genuine desire to die.”

60. “She always had the outward appearance of indifference, which I suspect is the real secret to longevity. That or a genuine desire to die.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “We know what country this is: It’s the stupid place where twenty-plus million people boast about being ordinary.”

61. “We know what country this is: It’s the stupid place where twenty-plus million people boast about being ordinary.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “If I have made one unpardonable error in my life, it’s to deny, all the time, that there are people who might genuinely love me.”

62. “If I have made one unpardonable error in my life, it’s to deny, all the time, that there are people who might genuinely love me.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “When someone says the phrase ‘family values,’ I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face with a condom from 1953.”

63. “When someone says the phrase ‘family values,’ I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face with a condom from 1953.”

— Steve Toltz

Steve Toltz Quote: “I told her they were called stepping-stones because man likes to think that all of nature was set up especially for his feet.”

64. “I told her they were called stepping-stones because man likes to think that all of nature was set up especially for his feet.”

— Steve Toltz

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