Top 200 Stewart Stafford Quotes (2026 Update)
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201. “Birthdays are happy as a child, defeatist with age and joyful again at surviving another year.”

— Stewart Stafford

202. “A eulogy is a life lived with a loved one or friend condensed into a few moments relating poignant and witty stories about them to a hushed congregation. The deceased has then an eternity to ponder the remarks with the possibility of spectral visitations to request a retraction.”

— Stewart Stafford

203. “I guess everyone gets more attractive as your eyesight decreases with age. That’s something to look forward to until you can’t see anymore.”

— Stewart Stafford

204. “Life is an endless trial and death its certain verdict, but there are many recesses to enjoy before then.”

— Stewart Stafford

205. “Unhinging reason temporarily can sometimes be the only rational response to an insane world.”

— Stewart Stafford

206. “When your life flashes before your eyes at the end, make sure it’s a good movie you’re watching.”

— Stewart Stafford

207. “When the condemned man saw the gallows, he knew the hypocrisy of life was over and that lies would serve him no more. He mumbled some defeated truths and left this world. The spectators were aghast and fascinated as the body swung and was still. They went about their business.”

— Stewart Stafford

208. “Geniuses die with people demanding more from them instead of showing gratitude for the incredible gifts they have shared. They contribute what they choose to, change the world and go on to the next one.”

— Stewart Stafford

209. “Ruffian magpies and crows squabbled shrilly in the swaying tree by my window. Then, unbeknownst to me, a tiny starling with its astral plumage came closer still and made its resonant point with greater subtlety.”

— Stewart Stafford

210. “A mistake is an experience, choice or concept it is necessary for us to have or make in order to evolve beyond it. Errors can be the launchpad of great ideas.”

— Stewart Stafford

211. “You can tell you’re getting old when the heat blast from your birthday cake candles feels hotter than the surface of the sun.”

— Stewart Stafford

212. “The smart voter is politically-fluid in that they don’t rigidly believe that the same viewpoint, party manifesto or individual is the poultice for all maladies in every election. They attune themselves to the zeitgeist, search for potentially-reputable parties and candidates with suitable policies and cast their vote accordingly.”

— Stewart Stafford

213. “Whenever I read the term ‘belief system’, somewhere between my eyes and my brain, it becomes ’coping mechanism.”

— Stewart Stafford

214. “If I decide to get a tattoo, it’ll be a map of where I live on my chest in case I ever get amnesia.”

— Stewart Stafford

215. “The foundation of Hollywood alchemically turned celluloid into gold and insincerity into an art form.”

— Stewart Stafford

216. “Arguing is the Olympics of talking.”

— Stewart Stafford

217. “If your written words become literal nails to crucify you with, then you have done your job well. You provoked a reaction, whether it is positive or negative is irrelevant. Writing that evokes no reaction is a body without a soul.”

— Stewart Stafford

218. “An obsessive is an addict-in-waiting.”

— Stewart Stafford

219. “Any time you see a cat, the day automatically becomes 10% better.”

— Stewart Stafford

220. “They promise us once-in-a-lifetime bargains in the orgies of consumerism that are Black Friday and Cyber Monday. More likely, we end up with precious little, vacant souls and an ever-decreasing appreciation of humanity.”

— Stewart Stafford

221. “It is often asked why the greatest performers are so timid in private. Confident people get attention naturally. Shy people must do something extraordinary or outrageous to have similar recognition.”

— Stewart Stafford

222. “Attempting to appropriate or denigrate the popularity of others will backfire and undermine yours.”

— Stewart Stafford

223. “Truly successful writers blend the personal and the profound to enlighten and entertain readers while simultaneously banking something for posterity. Remuneration is a wonderful afterthought.”

— Stewart Stafford

224. “I don’t believe in yesterday, I believe in tomorrow. Whether it’s positive or negative, the future is a new experience and not a ghostly replay of a time that was and can never be again.”

— Stewart Stafford

225. “2020 is the year that black people became the center of the universe, white people got evicted from the human race, and buying toilet paper became the new gold rush.”

— Stewart Stafford

226. “Why did Irish people vote to introduce gay marriage? Because we know what discrimination feels like and if we can take the boot of oppression off someone else’s throat, we’ll do it every time.”

— Stewart Stafford

227. “The snowflake revolution will not be televised – it will be pirated online, go viral and rapidly dissipate in the quicksand of post-millennial conformity.”

— Stewart Stafford

228. “In times of oppression, bury the quality of mercy deep inside, so that your oppressor’s brutality can never damage it or you. Once free, bring this hidden shard of humanity back into your heart again and live the life denied to you.”

— Stewart Stafford

229. “People will hunt obsessively for months or even years to find the right home to live in. When it comes to love though, they expect their future soulmate to appear out of thin air as they enter the next bar or club they go to.”

— Stewart Stafford

230. “The day for words of love becomes the night of amorous actions that say far more! The world shifts back on its axis at dawn on February 15th.”

— Stewart Stafford

231. “Most people think of Stephen King as a horror author, but his best work usually comes with a side order of nostalgic Americana.”

— Stewart Stafford

232. “Writing is the spectrum through which the chaos of life can be seen, studied and understood.”

— Stewart Stafford

233. “The stresses and strains of life mould us into our mature selves. The key to life is to accept the wisdom of our later years while maintaining our youthful enthusiasm and curiosity for the world.”

— Stewart Stafford

234. “Karens have a best friend – Becky. She’s the one who goes with them to talk to the manager and backs them up and remains silent when she calls the cops on black guys she sees in her area. Becky is Karen’s tag-team partner and an enabler. Don’t be a Becky.”

— Stewart Stafford