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Top 100 Abbi Waxman Quotes (2026 Update)
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Abbi Waxman Quote: “There is nothing – nothing – that isn’t improved by laying a thick piece of chocolate frosting on top of it.”

101. “There is nothing – nothing – that isn’t improved by laying a thick piece of chocolate frosting on top of it.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Dammit. Now she was going to have to change her planner. Nina hated changing her planner.”

102. “Dammit. Now she was going to have to change her planner. Nina hated changing her planner.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Do you read books in order?” “Yes, if there is an order. If there isn’t an order, I read them in the order of publication.”

103. “Do you read books in order?” “Yes, if there is an order. If there isn’t an order, I read them in the order of publication.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “The cornstalks act as supports for the climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in the soil for the corn and squash, and the squash provides mulch and root protection for the corn and beans. And then, just to make it all perfect, when you eat the corn and beans together, they form a complete protein.”

104. “The cornstalks act as supports for the climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in the soil for the corn and squash, and the squash provides mulch and root protection for the corn and beans. And then, just to make it all perfect, when you eat the corn and beans together, they form a complete protein.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Because we sold you a book and you read it. That’s pretty much the whole life cycle of bookstores right there. If you didn’t enjoy it, I’m very sorry, but we can’t do anything about it.”

105. “Because we sold you a book and you read it. That’s pretty much the whole life cycle of bookstores right there. If you didn’t enjoy it, I’m very sorry, but we can’t do anything about it.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Remember how I said kids pay attention when you don’t know they’re doing it? Here was another classic example. I swear to God, they weren’t even close enough to hear what was going on, but apparently Annabel had gone back over the transcripts.”

106. “Remember how I said kids pay attention when you don’t know they’re doing it? Here was another classic example. I swear to God, they weren’t even close enough to hear what was going on, but apparently Annabel had gone back over the transcripts.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Sartre said hell was other people, but that was only because the 405 hadn’t been built yet.”

107. “Sartre said hell was other people, but that was only because the 405 hadn’t been built yet.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Her cat, Phil, was sitting on the gate waiting for her. Phil was a tabby of the brown and cream variety, with a black tip to his tail and white feet. He jumped down as the gate opened and preceded her up the stairs, the tip of his tail forming a jaunty accent like the marker flag on a toddler’s bicycle.”

108. “Her cat, Phil, was sitting on the gate waiting for her. Phil was a tabby of the brown and cream variety, with a black tip to his tail and white feet. He jumped down as the gate opened and preceded her up the stairs, the tip of his tail forming a jaunty accent like the marker flag on a toddler’s bicycle.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Laura looked at the cat. The cat looked at her. Neither of them said anything, Laura because she didn’t speak cat and the cat because she was mentally composing a letter to her senator.”

109. “Laura looked at the cat. The cat looked at her. Neither of them said anything, Laura because she didn’t speak cat and the cat because she was mentally composing a letter to her senator.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “I filled my mouth with spaghetti and thanked God for the Italians. Spaghetti, pizza, ice cream. If they weren’t so busy making love and whizzing around on Vespas, they’d probably rule the world.”

110. “I filled my mouth with spaghetti and thanked God for the Italians. Spaghetti, pizza, ice cream. If they weren’t so busy making love and whizzing around on Vespas, they’d probably rule the world.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “I’ve learned recently that my mind isn’t the safest neighborhood to go into alone.”

111. “I’ve learned recently that my mind isn’t the safest neighborhood to go into alone.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “It’s the world’s most wonderful and most terrible job, and if you do it well enough, you get fired.”

112. “It’s the world’s most wonderful and most terrible job, and if you do it well enough, you get fired.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “I watched you and Edward. People who are going to kiss do it with their eyes first.”

113. “I watched you and Edward. People who are going to kiss do it with their eyes first.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Candice Hill had grown up in the darkest Australian wilds of the 1980s, where, reportedly, the women glowed and the men plundered, but no one had a cell phone.”

114. “Candice Hill had grown up in the darkest Australian wilds of the 1980s, where, reportedly, the women glowed and the men plundered, but no one had a cell phone.”

— Abbi Waxman

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