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Top 100 Abbi Waxman Quotes (2024 Update)
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Abbi Waxman Quote: “It was exhausting sometimes simply being alive.”

101. “It was exhausting sometimes simply being alive.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “You convince yourself you’re building a safety net for your kids when in fact it’s a trap they’ll spend the rest of their lives trying to get free of.”

102. “You convince yourself you’re building a safety net for your kids when in fact it’s a trap they’ll spend the rest of their lives trying to get free of.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “But I want to be a toilet.”

103. “But I want to be a toilet.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Dammit. Now she was going to have to change her planner. Nina hated changing her planner.”

104. “Dammit. Now she was going to have to change her planner. Nina hated changing her planner.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Laura looked at the cat. The cat looked at her. Neither of them said anything, Laura because she didn’t speak cat and the cat because she was mentally composing a letter to her senator.”

105. “Laura looked at the cat. The cat looked at her. Neither of them said anything, Laura because she didn’t speak cat and the cat because she was mentally composing a letter to her senator.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “It is unclear to me what happened, but I am often confused by Americans, so let’s pretend everything is fine and go to look at the garden.”

106. “It is unclear to me what happened, but I am often confused by Americans, so let’s pretend everything is fine and go to look at the garden.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Catching and holding the attention of an eight-year-old on Halloween is like trying to catch a hummingbird with a piece of dental floss. It’s theoretically possible, but not very likely.”

107. “Catching and holding the attention of an eight-year-old on Halloween is like trying to catch a hummingbird with a piece of dental floss. It’s theoretically possible, but not very likely.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Sartre said hell was other people, but that was only because the 405 hadn’t been built yet.”

108. “Sartre said hell was other people, but that was only because the 405 hadn’t been built yet.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “In public Nina was a quiet, reserved person; in private she was an all-singing, all-dancing cavalcade of light and motion. Unless she was a quivering ball of anxiety, because that was also a frequently selected option.”

109. “In public Nina was a quiet, reserved person; in private she was an all-singing, all-dancing cavalcade of light and motion. Unless she was a quivering ball of anxiety, because that was also a frequently selected option.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Everyone contributes something, and I guess I bring the awkward.”

110. “Everyone contributes something, and I guess I bring the awkward.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “The cornstalks act as supports for the climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in the soil for the corn and squash, and the squash provides mulch and root protection for the corn and beans. And then, just to make it all perfect, when you eat the corn and beans together, they form a complete protein.”

111. “The cornstalks act as supports for the climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in the soil for the corn and squash, and the squash provides mulch and root protection for the corn and beans. And then, just to make it all perfect, when you eat the corn and beans together, they form a complete protein.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “I’ve learned recently that my mind isn’t the safest neighborhood to go into alone.”

112. “I’ve learned recently that my mind isn’t the safest neighborhood to go into alone.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Remember how I said kids pay attention when you don’t know they’re doing it? Here was another classic example. I swear to God, they weren’t even close enough to hear what was going on, but apparently Annabel had gone back over the transcripts.”

113. “Remember how I said kids pay attention when you don’t know they’re doing it? Here was another classic example. I swear to God, they weren’t even close enough to hear what was going on, but apparently Annabel had gone back over the transcripts.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “I’d learned early on in my career that the simplest way to succeed at work was to talk like a man, which means removing all warmth, doubt, and softness from every sentence. Try it; it’s surprisingly difficult.”

114. “I’d learned early on in my career that the simplest way to succeed at work was to talk like a man, which means removing all warmth, doubt, and softness from every sentence. Try it; it’s surprisingly difficult.”

— Abbi Waxman

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