Top 100 Abbi Waxman Quotes (2024 Update)
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Abbi Waxman Quote: “Laura looked at the cat. The cat looked at her. Neither of them said anything, Laura because she didn’t speak cat and the cat because she was mentally composing a letter to her senator.”

101. “Laura looked at the cat. The cat looked at her. Neither of them said anything, Laura because she didn’t speak cat and the cat because she was mentally composing a letter to her senator.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “It is unclear to me what happened, but I am often confused by Americans, so let’s pretend everything is fine and go to look at the garden.”

102. “It is unclear to me what happened, but I am often confused by Americans, so let’s pretend everything is fine and go to look at the garden.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Catching and holding the attention of an eight-year-old on Halloween is like trying to catch a hummingbird with a piece of dental floss. It’s theoretically possible, but not very likely.”

103. “Catching and holding the attention of an eight-year-old on Halloween is like trying to catch a hummingbird with a piece of dental floss. It’s theoretically possible, but not very likely.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Sartre said hell was other people, but that was only because the 405 hadn’t been built yet.”

104. “Sartre said hell was other people, but that was only because the 405 hadn’t been built yet.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “In public Nina was a quiet, reserved person; in private she was an all-singing, all-dancing cavalcade of light and motion. Unless she was a quivering ball of anxiety, because that was also a frequently selected option.”

105. “In public Nina was a quiet, reserved person; in private she was an all-singing, all-dancing cavalcade of light and motion. Unless she was a quivering ball of anxiety, because that was also a frequently selected option.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Everyone contributes something, and I guess I bring the awkward.”

106. “Everyone contributes something, and I guess I bring the awkward.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “The cornstalks act as supports for the climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in the soil for the corn and squash, and the squash provides mulch and root protection for the corn and beans. And then, just to make it all perfect, when you eat the corn and beans together, they form a complete protein.”

107. “The cornstalks act as supports for the climbing beans, the beans fix nitrogen in the soil for the corn and squash, and the squash provides mulch and root protection for the corn and beans. And then, just to make it all perfect, when you eat the corn and beans together, they form a complete protein.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “I’ve learned recently that my mind isn’t the safest neighborhood to go into alone.”

108. “I’ve learned recently that my mind isn’t the safest neighborhood to go into alone.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Remember how I said kids pay attention when you don’t know they’re doing it? Here was another classic example. I swear to God, they weren’t even close enough to hear what was going on, but apparently Annabel had gone back over the transcripts.”

109. “Remember how I said kids pay attention when you don’t know they’re doing it? Here was another classic example. I swear to God, they weren’t even close enough to hear what was going on, but apparently Annabel had gone back over the transcripts.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “I’d learned early on in my career that the simplest way to succeed at work was to talk like a man, which means removing all warmth, doubt, and softness from every sentence. Try it; it’s surprisingly difficult.”

110. “I’d learned early on in my career that the simplest way to succeed at work was to talk like a man, which means removing all warmth, doubt, and softness from every sentence. Try it; it’s surprisingly difficult.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “If I was a toilet, where would people poop? Would people poop in my mouth?”

111. “If I was a toilet, where would people poop? Would people poop in my mouth?”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Do you read books in order?” “Yes, if there is an order. If there isn’t an order, I read them in the order of publication.”

112. “Do you read books in order?” “Yes, if there is an order. If there isn’t an order, I read them in the order of publication.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Nina often reflected that LA was not a pretty city, architecturally speaking, but the sky made it beautiful several times a day. As with all things Hollywood, the lighting guy is God.”

113. “Nina often reflected that LA was not a pretty city, architecturally speaking, but the sky made it beautiful several times a day. As with all things Hollywood, the lighting guy is God.”

— Abbi Waxman

Abbi Waxman Quote: “Maybe your life is a well-orchestrated series of elegant vignettes, with perfect photo opportunities every ten minutes, but if you’re anything like the rest of us then you’re lurching from one near-disaster to the next, crossing your legs every time you cough so you don’t pee your pants after having had four children.”

114. “Maybe your life is a well-orchestrated series of elegant vignettes, with perfect photo opportunities every ten minutes, but if you’re anything like the rest of us then you’re lurching from one near-disaster to the next, crossing your legs every time you cough so you don’t pee your pants after having had four children.”

— Abbi Waxman

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