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Top 25 Ada Calhoun Quotes (2024 Update)

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Sometimes we can thank our feelings for sharing and ignore them. Maybe wanting doesn’t have to perfectly coincide with getting. Maybe sometimes not-getting has a value of its own.”

1. “Sometimes we can thank our feelings for sharing and ignore them. Maybe wanting doesn’t have to perfectly coincide with getting. Maybe sometimes not-getting has a value of its own.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “One of the main problems in making dreams come true? They cost money.”

2. “One of the main problems in making dreams come true? They cost money.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Generation X marks the end of the American dream of ever-increasing prosperity. We are downwardly mobile, with declining job stability. It used to be that each generation could expect to do better than their parents. New research confirms that Generation X won’t.”

3. “Generation X marks the end of the American dream of ever-increasing prosperity. We are downwardly mobile, with declining job stability. It used to be that each generation could expect to do better than their parents. New research confirms that Generation X won’t.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Johann Hari’s 2018 book Lost Connections argues that our culture has come to medicate depression first and ask questions later, without recognizing that some discomforts are not medical emergencies. He tells the story of how when he begged for antinausea medication in a jungle hospital in Vietnam, the doctors said, “You need your nausea. It is a message, and we must listen to the message. It will tell us what is wrong with you.”

4. “Johann Hari’s 2018 book Lost Connections argues that our culture has come to medicate depression first and ask questions later, without recognizing that some discomforts are not medical emergencies. He tells the story of how when he begged for antinausea medication in a jungle hospital in Vietnam, the doctors said, “You need your nausea. It is a message, and we must listen to the message. It will tell us what is wrong with you.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Failure is part of being human, and it is definitely part of being married.”

5. “Failure is part of being human, and it is definitely part of being married.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “All the couples therapy and communication seminars in the world won’t save you if you aren’t prepared to close your eyes and hug the mainmast through a storm.”

6. “All the couples therapy and communication seminars in the world won’t save you if you aren’t prepared to close your eyes and hug the mainmast through a storm.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “What I see in my Gen X patients is total exhaustion. They feel guilty for complaining, because it’s wonderful to have had choices that our mothers didn’t have, but choices don’t make life easier. Possibilities create pressure.”

7. “What I see in my Gen X patients is total exhaustion. They feel guilty for complaining, because it’s wonderful to have had choices that our mothers didn’t have, but choices don’t make life easier. Possibilities create pressure.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Gen Xers are in ‘the prime of their lives’ at a particularly dangerous and divisive moment,′ Boomer marketing expert Faith Popcorn told me. ‘They have been hit hard financially and dismissed culturally. They have tons of debt. They’re squeezed on both sides by children and aging parents. The grim state of adulthood is hitting them hard. If they’re exhausted and bewildered, they have every reason to feel that way.”

8. “Gen Xers are in ‘the prime of their lives’ at a particularly dangerous and divisive moment,′ Boomer marketing expert Faith Popcorn told me. ‘They have been hit hard financially and dismissed culturally. They have tons of debt. They’re squeezed on both sides by children and aging parents. The grim state of adulthood is hitting them hard. If they’re exhausted and bewildered, they have every reason to feel that way.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “By staying married, we give something to ourselves and to others: hope. Hope that in steadfastly loving someone, we ourselves, for all our faults, will be loved; that the broken world will be made whole. To hitch your rickety wagon to the flickering star of another fallible human being – what an insane thing to do. What a burden, and what a gift.”

9. “By staying married, we give something to ourselves and to others: hope. Hope that in steadfastly loving someone, we ourselves, for all our faults, will be loved; that the broken world will be made whole. To hitch your rickety wagon to the flickering star of another fallible human being – what an insane thing to do. What a burden, and what a gift.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “We kept hearing again and again that we could be anything we wanted to be. We had supportive mothers insisting we would accomplish more than they had. Title IX made sure our after-school classes were as good as the boys’. We saw women on television who had families and fun careers. So, if we happened to fail, why was that? The only thing left to blame was ourselves.”

10. “We kept hearing again and again that we could be anything we wanted to be. We had supportive mothers insisting we would accomplish more than they had. Title IX made sure our after-school classes were as good as the boys’. We saw women on television who had families and fun careers. So, if we happened to fail, why was that? The only thing left to blame was ourselves.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Midlife, we must reconcile the two primary messages of our childhood: One: “Reach for the stars.” Two: “You’re on your own.”

11. “Midlife, we must reconcile the two primary messages of our childhood: One: “Reach for the stars.” Two: “You’re on your own.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “As married people, we dwell on a spectrum between happy and unhappy, in love and out of love, and we move back and forth on that line decade by decade, year by year, week by week, even hour by hour.”

12. “As married people, we dwell on a spectrum between happy and unhappy, in love and out of love, and we move back and forth on that line decade by decade, year by year, week by week, even hour by hour.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “To love somebody is not just a strong feeling – it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise,” writes psychologist Erich Fromm. “If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision?”

13. “To love somebody is not just a strong feeling – it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise,” writes psychologist Erich Fromm. “If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision?”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “The romantic fairy tales we grew up with – where marriage is the happy ending rather than the opening scene – are not useful for grown-ups.”

14. “The romantic fairy tales we grew up with – where marriage is the happy ending rather than the opening scene – are not useful for grown-ups.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “We bear financial responsibilities that men had in the old days while still saddled with traditional caregiving duties. We generally incur this double whammy precisely while hitting peak stress in both our careers and child-raising – in our forties, at an age when most of our mothers and grandmothers were already empty nesters.”

15. “We bear financial responsibilities that men had in the old days while still saddled with traditional caregiving duties. We generally incur this double whammy precisely while hitting peak stress in both our careers and child-raising – in our forties, at an age when most of our mothers and grandmothers were already empty nesters.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Wherever you go, there you are. You would just have different problems. Are the problems you have now so bad that any other problems would be better?”

16. “Wherever you go, there you are. You would just have different problems. Are the problems you have now so bad that any other problems would be better?”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “The boring parts don’t last forever. In retrospect, they aren’t even boring.”

17. “The boring parts don’t last forever. In retrospect, they aren’t even boring.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Generation X women, who as children lacked cell phones and helicopter parents, came up relying on our own wits. To keep ourselves safe, we took control. We worked hard and made lists and tried to do everything all at once for a very long time without much help. We took responsibility for ourselves – and later we also took responsibility for our work or partners or children or parents. We should be proud of ourselves.”

18. “Generation X women, who as children lacked cell phones and helicopter parents, came up relying on our own wits. To keep ourselves safe, we took control. We worked hard and made lists and tried to do everything all at once for a very long time without much help. We took responsibility for ourselves – and later we also took responsibility for our work or partners or children or parents. We should be proud of ourselves.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “My expectations are way lower. I no longer believe that at this age I should have rock-hard abs, a perfectly calm disposition, or a million dollars in the bank. It helps to surround myself with women my age who speak honestly about their lives.”

19. “My expectations are way lower. I no longer believe that at this age I should have rock-hard abs, a perfectly calm disposition, or a million dollars in the bank. It helps to surround myself with women my age who speak honestly about their lives.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Dating is poetry. Marriage is a novel. There are times, maybe years, that are all exposition.”

20. “Dating is poetry. Marriage is a novel. There are times, maybe years, that are all exposition.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “So what’s the secret to staying together?” I asked her. “Be nice?” she offered. I laughed, but that may be it, the way a secret to losing weight is to eat less. Be nice. Don’t leave. That’s all.”

21. “So what’s the secret to staying together?” I asked her. “Be nice?” she offered. I laughed, but that may be it, the way a secret to losing weight is to eat less. Be nice. Don’t leave. That’s all.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage.”

22. “I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Gen X women often try to exert control over their bodies at midlife only to find that the middle-aged body is remarkably resistant.”

23. “Gen X women often try to exert control over their bodies at midlife only to find that the middle-aged body is remarkably resistant.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “I want to say that one day you and your husband will fight about missed flights, and you’ll find yourself wistful for the days when you had to pay for only your own mistakes. I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage. You will gaze at this man you once adored and think, It sure would be nice to have this whole place to myself.”

24. “I want to say that one day you and your husband will fight about missed flights, and you’ll find yourself wistful for the days when you had to pay for only your own mistakes. I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage. You will gaze at this man you once adored and think, It sure would be nice to have this whole place to myself.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Taking your seat at the table doesn’t work out so well when no one wants you there and you are vastly outnumbered.”

25. “Taking your seat at the table doesn’t work out so well when no one wants you there and you are vastly outnumbered.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Gen X straddles the pre- and post-internet worlds. The youngest Gen Xers belonged to the last graduating class to finish college pre–social media.2 Facebook was invented in 2004. The iPhone came out in 2007. How fitting that many younger Gen Xers and older Millennials were introduced to computing by the bleak Oregon Trail – which frequently ended with you and all your friends dying from dysentery.3 Personally, I loved the game. Again, again! Maybe this time we’ll get cholera!”

26. “Gen X straddles the pre- and post-internet worlds. The youngest Gen Xers belonged to the last graduating class to finish college pre–social media.2 Facebook was invented in 2004. The iPhone came out in 2007. How fitting that many younger Gen Xers and older Millennials were introduced to computing by the bleak Oregon Trail – which frequently ended with you and all your friends dying from dysentery.3 Personally, I loved the game. Again, again! Maybe this time we’ll get cholera!”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “It should be plenty to raise children or to have a career- or, frankly, just not to become a serial killer. Yet somehow for this generation of women, the belief that girls could do anything morphed into a directive that they must do everything.”

27. “It should be plenty to raise children or to have a career- or, frankly, just not to become a serial killer. Yet somehow for this generation of women, the belief that girls could do anything morphed into a directive that they must do everything.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “One of the goals she encourages women to pursue is what’s known as “radical acceptance” – finding a way to take life as it is, not as you thought it would be. “It’s one of the hardest things,” Chafin says, “to radically accept what’s in front of you.”

28. “One of the goals she encourages women to pursue is what’s known as “radical acceptance” – finding a way to take life as it is, not as you thought it would be. “It’s one of the hardest things,” Chafin says, “to radically accept what’s in front of you.”

— Ada Calhoun

Ada Calhoun Quote: “Generation X women keep many lists: grocery lists, chore lists, deadline lists, schools-to-apply-to lists, holiday-card lists. Some are on paper and some on smartphones or sticky notes or whiteboards, but they can also seem to loop on a scroll behind the women’s eyes.”

29. “Generation X women keep many lists: grocery lists, chore lists, deadline lists, schools-to-apply-to lists, holiday-card lists. Some are on paper and some on smartphones or sticky notes or whiteboards, but they can also seem to loop on a scroll behind the women’s eyes.”

— Ada Calhoun

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