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Top 25 Adam Ferrara Quotes (2025 Update)

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.”

1. “I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.”

2. “If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.”

3. “My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.”

4. “My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’”

5. “Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.”

6. “My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’”

7. “I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’”

8. “I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.”

9. “I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “If you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’”

10. “If you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!”

11. “What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.”

12. “I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.”

13. “The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.”

14. “There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.”

15. “I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.”

16. “I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.”

17. “I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’”

18. “One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’”

19. “I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.”

20. “I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.”

21. “I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.”

22. “The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.”

23. “Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’”

24. “The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’”

— Adam Ferrara

Adam Ferrara Quote: “The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.”

25. “The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.”

— Adam Ferrara

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