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Top 25 Adele Faber Quotes (2025 Update)

Adele Faber Quote: “When we acknowledge a child’s feelings, we do him a great service. We put him in touch with his inner reality. And once he’s clear about that reality, he gathers the strength to begin to cope.”

1. “When we acknowledge a child’s feelings, we do him a great service. We put him in touch with his inner reality. And once he’s clear about that reality, he gathers the strength to begin to cope.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “When a person is drowning, it’s not the time to give swimming lessons.”

2. “When a person is drowning, it’s not the time to give swimming lessons.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “It’s a bittersweet road we parents travel. We start with total commitment to a small, helpless human being. Over the years we worry, plan, comfort, and try to understand. We give our love, our labor, our knowledge, and our experience – so that one day he or she will have the inner strength and confidence to leave us.”

3. “It’s a bittersweet road we parents travel. We start with total commitment to a small, helpless human being. Over the years we worry, plan, comfort, and try to understand. We give our love, our labor, our knowledge, and our experience – so that one day he or she will have the inner strength and confidence to leave us.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.”

4. “When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “It’s important to make a distinction between allowing feelings and allowing actions,” I replied. “We permit children to express all their feelings. We don’t permit them to hurt each other. Our job is to show them how to express their anger without doing damage.”

5. “It’s important to make a distinction between allowing feelings and allowing actions,” I replied. “We permit children to express all their feelings. We don’t permit them to hurt each other. Our job is to show them how to express their anger without doing damage.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.”

6. “I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Not till the bad feelings come out can the good ones come in.”

7. “Not till the bad feelings come out can the good ones come in.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with; they need to have them acknowledged.”

8. “Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with; they need to have them acknowledged.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “The attitude behind your words is as important as the words themselves.”

9. “The attitude behind your words is as important as the words themselves.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Children don’t appreciate having the names they call themselves repeated by their parents. When a child tells you he’s dumb or ugly or fat, it’s not helpful to reply with “Oh, so you think you’re dumb,” or “You really feel you’re ugly.” Let’s not cooperate with him when he calls himself names. We can accept his pain without repeating the name.”

10. “Children don’t appreciate having the names they call themselves repeated by their parents. When a child tells you he’s dumb or ugly or fat, it’s not helpful to reply with “Oh, so you think you’re dumb,” or “You really feel you’re ugly.” Let’s not cooperate with him when he calls himself names. We can accept his pain without repeating the name.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “To be loved equally,” I continued, “is somehow to be loved less. To be loved uniquely – for one’s own special self – is to be loved as much as we need to be loved.”

11. “To be loved equally,” I continued, “is somehow to be loved less. To be loved uniquely – for one’s own special self – is to be loved as much as we need to be loved.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “The attitude behind your words is as important as the words themselves. The attitude that children thrive on is one that communicates, “You’re basically a lovable, capable person. Right now there’s a problem that needs attention. Once you’re aware of it, you’ll probably respond responsibly.”

12. “The attitude behind your words is as important as the words themselves. The attitude that children thrive on is one that communicates, “You’re basically a lovable, capable person. Right now there’s a problem that needs attention. Once you’re aware of it, you’ll probably respond responsibly.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “I was a wonderful parent before I had children.”

13. “I was a wonderful parent before I had children.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Parents don’t usually give this kind of response, because they fear that by giving a name to the feeling they’ll make it worse. Just the opposite is true. The child who hears the words for what she is experiencing is deeply comforted. Someone has acknowledged her inner experience.”

14. “Parents don’t usually give this kind of response, because they fear that by giving a name to the feeling they’ll make it worse. Just the opposite is true. The child who hears the words for what she is experiencing is deeply comforted. Someone has acknowledged her inner experience.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Finally, are most of my moments with my child spent asking her to “do things?” Or am I taking out some time to be alone with her – just to “be together”?”

15. “Finally, are most of my moments with my child spent asking her to “do things?” Or am I taking out some time to be alone with her – just to “be together”?”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Statements like these say to the child, “I don’t like what you did, and I expect you to take care of it.” We hope that later on in life, as an adult, when he does something he regrets, he’ll think to himself, “What can I do to make amends – to set things right again?,” rather than “What I just did proves I’m an unworthy person who deserves to be punished.”

16. “Statements like these say to the child, “I don’t like what you did, and I expect you to take care of it.” We hope that later on in life, as an adult, when he does something he regrets, he’ll think to himself, “What can I do to make amends – to set things right again?,” rather than “What I just did proves I’m an unworthy person who deserves to be punished.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Insisting upon good feelings between the children led to bad feelings. Acknowledging bad feelings between the children led to good feelings. A circuitous route to sibling harmony. And yet, the most direct.”

17. “Insisting upon good feelings between the children led to bad feelings. Acknowledging bad feelings between the children led to good feelings. A circuitous route to sibling harmony. And yet, the most direct.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “It’s also not helpful when parents respond with more intensity than the child feels.”

18. “It’s also not helpful when parents respond with more intensity than the child feels.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “The passion and excitement you feel about a child’s achievement should be saved for a moment when just the two of you are together. It’s too much for the other siblings to have to listen to.”

19. “The passion and excitement you feel about a child’s achievement should be saved for a moment when just the two of you are together. It’s too much for the other siblings to have to listen to.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Imagine,” I thought, “a world in which brothers and sisters grow up in homes where hurting isn’t allowed; where children are taught to express their anger at each other sanely and safely; where each child is valued as an individual, not in relation to the others; where cooperation, rather than competition is the norm; where no one is trapped in a role; where children have daily experience and guidance in resolving their differences.”

20. “Imagine,” I thought, “a world in which brothers and sisters grow up in homes where hurting isn’t allowed; where children are taught to express their anger at each other sanely and safely; where each child is valued as an individual, not in relation to the others; where cooperation, rather than competition is the norm; where no one is trapped in a role; where children have daily experience and guidance in resolving their differences.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Sometimes just having someone understand how much you want something makes reality easier to bear. So.”

21. “Sometimes just having someone understand how much you want something makes reality easier to bear. So.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “1. Start by acknowledging the children’s anger towards each other. That alone should help calm them. 2. Listen to each child’s side with respect. 3. Show appreciation for the difficulty of the problem. 4. Express faith in their ability to work out a mutually agreeable solution. 5. Leave the room.”

22. “1. Start by acknowledging the children’s anger towards each other. That alone should help calm them. 2. Listen to each child’s side with respect. 3. Show appreciation for the difficulty of the problem. 4. Express faith in their ability to work out a mutually agreeable solution. 5. Leave the room.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “The time for empathy is when a child wants you to know how he feels.”

23. “The time for empathy is when a child wants you to know how he feels.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “There are youngsters who prefer no talk at all when they’re upset. For them, Mom or Dad’s presence is comfort enough. One mother told us about walking into the living room and seeing her ten-year-old daughter slumped on the sofa with tear-stained eyes. The mother sat down beside her daughter, put her arms around her, murmured, “Something happened,” and sat silently with her for five minutes. Finally, her daughter sighed and said, “Thanks, Mom. I’m better now.”

24. “There are youngsters who prefer no talk at all when they’re upset. For them, Mom or Dad’s presence is comfort enough. One mother told us about walking into the living room and seeing her ten-year-old daughter slumped on the sofa with tear-stained eyes. The mother sat down beside her daughter, put her arms around her, murmured, “Something happened,” and sat silently with her for five minutes. Finally, her daughter sighed and said, “Thanks, Mom. I’m better now.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “It’s hard for children to change their behavior when their feelings are completely ignored.”

25. “It’s hard for children to change their behavior when their feelings are completely ignored.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Children often experience praise of a brother or sister as a put-down of themselves. They automatically translate, ‘Your brother is so considerate’ into ‘Mom thinks I’m not.’ It’s a good idea to save our enthusiastic comments for the ear of the deserving child.”

26. “Children often experience praise of a brother or sister as a put-down of themselves. They automatically translate, ‘Your brother is so considerate’ into ‘Mom thinks I’m not.’ It’s a good idea to save our enthusiastic comments for the ear of the deserving child.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “Insisting upon good feelings between the children led to bad feelings. Acknowledging bad feelings between the children led to good feelings.”

27. “Insisting upon good feelings between the children led to bad feelings. Acknowledging bad feelings between the children led to good feelings.”

— Adele Faber

Adele Faber Quote: “When they’re tempted, conflicted, or confused, they’ll know where to turn for guidance. When the unwholesome voices in the pop culture call to them, they’ll have another voice inside their heads – yours – with your values, your love, your faith in them.”

28. “When they’re tempted, conflicted, or confused, they’ll know where to turn for guidance. When the unwholesome voices in the pop culture call to them, they’ll have another voice inside their heads – yours – with your values, your love, your faith in them.”

— Adele Faber

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