Top 100

Top 15 Alan Coren Quotes (2024 Update)

Alan Coren Quote: “Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.”
Alan Coren Quote: “To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.”
Alan Coren Quote: “Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.”
Alan Coren Quote: “The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.”
Alan Coren Quote: “Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.”
Alan Coren Quote: “Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.”
Alan Coren Quote: “Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.”
Alan Coren Quote: “The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless; but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.”
Alan Coren Quote: “A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.”
Alan Coren Quote: “I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.”
Alan Coren Quote: “Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by...”
Alan Coren Quote: “There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?”
Alan Coren Quote: “Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.”
Alan Coren Quote: “The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.”
Alan Coren Quote: “10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?”
Alan Coren Quote: “All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.”
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