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Top 15 Alan Coren Quotes (2025 Update)

Alan Coren Quote: “Enjoy your life today because yesterday has gone and tomorrow may never come.”

1. “Enjoy your life today because yesterday has gone and tomorrow may never come.”

Featured in: Enjoy Life Quotes, Happy Sunday Quotes, Have a Great Day Quotes, Good Day Quotes, Time Flies Quotes

Alan Coren Quote: “To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.”

2. “To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.”

Alan Coren Quote: “Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.”

3. “Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.”

Alan Coren Quote: “The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.”

4. “The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.”

Alan Coren Quote: “Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.”

5. “Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.”

Alan Coren Quote: “Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.”

6. “Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.”

Alan Coren Quote: “Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.”

7. “Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.”

Alan Coren Quote: “The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless; but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.”

8. “The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless; but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.”

Alan Coren Quote: “A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.”

9. “A humorist tells himself every morning, “I hope it’s going to be a rough day.” When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes.”

Alan Coren Quote: “I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.”

10. “I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.”

Alan Coren Quote: “Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by...”

11. “Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by...”

Alan Coren Quote: “There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?”

12. “There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn’t all the water gush out when you get in?”

Alan Coren Quote: “Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.”

13. “Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.”

Alan Coren Quote: “The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.”

14. “The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.”

Alan Coren Quote: “10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?”

15. “10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?”

Alan Coren Quote: “All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.”

16. “All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.”

Enjoy Life Quotes

Enjoy Life Quotes

Happy Sunday Quotes

Happy Sunday Quotes

Have a Great Day Quotes

Have a Great Day Quotes

Good Day Quotes

Good Day Quotes

Time Flies Quotes

Time Flies Quotes

Enjoy Life Quotes

Enjoy Life Quotes

Happy Sunday Quotes

Happy Sunday Quotes

Have a Great Day Quotes

Have a Great Day Quotes

Good Day Quotes

Good Day Quotes

Time Flies Quotes

Time Flies Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

INSPIRATIONAL SUCCESS MOTIVATIONAL

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

Inspirational Entrepreneurship Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Positive Quotes

Positive Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS INSPIRATIONAL

Steve Jobs Quotes

Steve Jobs Quotes

ENTREPRENEURSHIP BUSINESS APPLE

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