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Top 15 Alan Simpson Quotes (2025 Update)

Alan Simpson Quote: “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.”

1. “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.”

— Alan Simpson

Featured in: Integrity Quotes, Morality Quotes, Quotes for Better Decisions, Character Quotes, Virtue Quotes

Alan Simpson Quote: “Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic.”

2. “Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “He’s a million rubber bands in his resilience.”

3. “He’s a million rubber bands in his resilience.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.”

4. “We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “There is no ‘slippery slope’ toward loss of liberty, only a long staircase where each step down must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders.”

5. “There is no ‘slippery slope’ toward loss of liberty, only a long staircase where each step down must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “If you torture statistics long enough, they’ll eventually confess the truth.”

6. “If you torture statistics long enough, they’ll eventually confess the truth.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “Now it’s just sharp elbows, and instead of having a caucus where you sit down and say, ‘What are you doing for your country?’ you sit figuring out how to screw the other side.”

7. “Now it’s just sharp elbows, and instead of having a caucus where you sit down and say, ‘What are you doing for your country?’ you sit figuring out how to screw the other side.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “People tend to stay at home and eat a home-cooked meal. There are three days that are really slow for restaurants – Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.”

8. “People tend to stay at home and eat a home-cooked meal. There are three days that are really slow for restaurants – Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “In your country club, your church, and business, about fifteen percent of the people are screwballs, lightweights, and boobs, and you would not want those people unrepresented in Congress.”

9. “In your country club, your church, and business, about fifteen percent of the people are screwballs, lightweights, and boobs, and you would not want those people unrepresented in Congress.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “Any education that matters is liberal. All the saving truths, all the healing graces that distinguish a good education from a bad one or a full education from a half empty one are contained in that word.”

10. “Any education that matters is liberal. All the saving truths, all the healing graces that distinguish a good education from a bad one or a full education from a half empty one are contained in that word.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “An educated man is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style.”

11. “An educated man is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “Grandchildren now don’t write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.”

12. “Grandchildren now don’t write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “Every time one of us starts talking about more effective immigration controls, somebody else throws up the Statue of Liberty, how we’re a nation of immigrants and all of that. The debate takes on tinges of racism, emotion.”

13. “Every time one of us starts talking about more effective immigration controls, somebody else throws up the Statue of Liberty, how we’re a nation of immigrants and all of that. The debate takes on tinges of racism, emotion.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “It doesn’t matter is you call it ‘Obama-care’ or ‘Elvis Presley care’ or ‘I-don’t-care care.’ It cannot sustain itself in its present form.”

14. “It doesn’t matter is you call it ‘Obama-care’ or ‘Elvis Presley care’ or ‘I-don’t-care care.’ It cannot sustain itself in its present form.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “Reagan didn’t put anything off the table, if he felt it was for the good of the American people to tweak the tax system.”

15. “Reagan didn’t put anything off the table, if he felt it was for the good of the American people to tweak the tax system.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “The word liberal distinguishes whatever nourishes the mind and spirit from the training which is merely practical or professional or from the trivialities which are no training at all.”

16. “The word liberal distinguishes whatever nourishes the mind and spirit from the training which is merely practical or professional or from the trivialities which are no training at all.”

— Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson Quote: “I look forward to the day when I can be Republican again. I’m an Alan Simpson Republican.”

17. “I look forward to the day when I can be Republican again. I’m an Alan Simpson Republican.”

— Alan Simpson

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