Top 300 Alexis Hall Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “I live off my wife. It’s extremely modern and feminist of me.”

— Alexis Hall

102. “To reiterate, I’m not a serial killer.”

— Alexis Hall

103. “For the record, I sounded extremely dignified when I said this. And not at all pathetic.”

— Alexis Hall

104. “It sort of becomes who you are, like.” “People aren’t patchwork quilts. Pieces of pain all stitched together into the shape of something human.”

— Alexis Hall

105. “Awkward as this is, I like to feel that ‘slightly more friends than you can fit around your table’ is exactly the right number of friends to have.”

— Alexis Hall

106. “I think what you’re underestimating here is how much better I can get and still be a complete disaster.”

— Alexis Hall

107. “I knew how to be a friend, a lover, a partner. I knew how to make someone feel cherished and seen and listened to – everything I had myself always so desperately wanted and been afraid I might never have because I was so used to being overlooked.”

— Alexis Hall

108. “I’m advocating taking a chance on a nice man who you’re clearly into and who’ll treat you well. And if you think that’s arson, then yay, arson.”

— Alexis Hall

109. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be. Or how I find out.”

— Alexis Hall

110. “The game went on for about two hours. People hit balls to places. Occasionally they would go other places, and people would cheer. This is my experience of all sport ever.”

— Alexis Hall

111. “I’d somehow lost the cornerstone of humanity: the ability to pretend, to counterfeit the basics of social interaction, to smile when you didn’t feel like smiling, to seem like you cared about other people when you lacked the capacity to care about yourself.”

— Alexis Hall

112. “Okay, I know you can’t see it, but I’m holding up the fetishisation card.” “What does that card even look like?” “It looks like two adorable men in sweaters holding hands under a rainbow.” “I thought you wanted to hold hands with an adorable man under a rainbow.” “I do, but the fact you want it almost as much as I do is what makes it creepy.”

— Alexis Hall

113. “I quietly ignored the banana.”

— Alexis Hall

114. “I cannot meet him as a stranger. But he has never known me as myself.”

— Alexis Hall

115. “I am very fond of the instructional poster on the subject of surviving a zombie apocalypse, but I feel it lacks emotional resonance.”

— Alexis Hall

116. “Yes, but you’ll slowly discover that you’re not as different as you initially assumed, and then he’ll surprise you with how thoughtful he is, and then you’ll come to his rescue in an unexpected moment of need, and you’ll fall madly in love with each other and live happily ever after.”

— Alexis Hall

117. “Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time.”

— Alexis Hall

118. “I was getting that I Am Legend feeling again, although the Legend part was especially ill-fitting. I Am Minor Folktale.”

— Alexis Hall

119. “I don’t know how to live. I never did.”

— Alexis Hall

120. “I know the feeling. Last month my valet was sick and I could barely keep it together.”

— Alexis Hall

121. “I can’t believe you’re giggling at my childhood trauma.”

— Alexis Hall

122. “A simple pun about a slightly obsolete public-sector job had turned into a debate about the long-term impacts of Thatcherism.”

— Alexis Hall

123. “What about you, old man? Have you ever sissied that walk?”

— Alexis Hall

124. “Bitter experience has taught me that you don’t engage with intellectually superior wankers who make long speeches about moral relativism.”

— Alexis Hall

125. “I want to give him everything, and the things I can’t give, I want him to take.”

— Alexis Hall

126. “The future is terrifying because it’s full of stuff, not because it’s empty.”

— Alexis Hall

127. “Eat it, motherbitches.”

— Alexis Hall

128. “I am not sure love unshown is really love at all. What good does caring for a person do if you’re never there when they need you?”

— Alexis Hall

129. “Though I’ve honestly been hoping there comes a point in your life when you stop worrying about what your parents think.”

— Alexis Hall

130. “Il problema dell’attribuire il giusto valore a qualcosa era il dolore che ne seguiva la perdita.”

— Alexis Hall

131. “I was slightly depressed that I lived the kind of life where you needed a sewer kit, but the only thing more depressing than having a sewer kit is needing a sewer kit and not having one.”

— Alexis Hall

132. “Are you attempting to convey information, or are you trying to recreate a popular Abbott and Costello routine?” “What are you talking about?” “I am sorry. I thought you may have wanted me to reply ‘I don’t know’ so that you could respond with ‘No, I don’t know’s a werewolf.’” “Elise, you can rest easy in the knowledge that I would never want you to do that.” “That, Miss Kane, is because you have no soul.”

— Alexis Hall

133. “When all you’ve got is a ravening vampire army, every problem starts to look like a lack of wanton slaughter.”

— Alexis Hall

134. “Here lies Kate Kane. Started a land war in Asia. Beloved daughter, sorely missed.”

— Alexis Hall

135. “The trees were different here, less friendly than those in the city. They gathered in unwelcoming mobs and glared angrily at the car as we passed. I suppose I could not blame them, for they were losing their homes to the roads and the bridges, and that must have been terrifying for beings that had persisted for centuries.”

— Alexis Hall

136. “God, you’re sexy when you’re being an idiot.”

— Alexis Hall

137. “Punching him would be more satisfying, but ignoring him would be more effective. Decisions, decisions.”

— Alexis Hall

138. “Isn’t that what being twenty is all about?” “Being an idiot?” “No.” She grinned, looking all impish and twinkly. “I meant, falling for unsuitable people. Breaking hearts and having your heart broken. Living the stories that are worth telling.”

— Alexis Hall

139. “But Oliver had the sort of perfect symmetry that eighteenth-century philosophers would have taken as evidence for the existence of God.”

— Alexis Hall

140. “Oliver shook both their hands with the disarming formality of a man who was professionally formal and disarming.”

— Alexis Hall

141. “I wish I could sleep. I wish I could stop thinking. But my mind has always been its own enemy.”

— Alexis Hall

142. “Where he could be my Oliver again.”

— Alexis Hall

143. “And I was pretty sure this was how love felt: fuzzy and scary and confusing and light enough to whisk you away like a Tesco’s bag on the wind.”

— Alexis Hall

144. “Kink crowds are the same the world over. The good ones are already taken, the hot ones only talk to each other, and everyone else is desperate.”

— Alexis Hall

145. “Everybody tells you that when you’re young, you think you’ll live forever. What they don’t tell you is that when you’re old, you think the same.”

— Alexis Hall

146. “We were going to have a pleasant conversation over sherry if it killed us both.”

— Alexis Hall

147. “Thank you,” was all I could think to say. But it wasn’t just a dominance game. I meant it. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for letting it mean so much to you. Thank you for believing I’m beautiful. Thank you for making me feel so powerful. Thank you for loving me. Thank you. Thank you.”

— Alexis Hall

148. “I live in a dog biscuit factory with a feral person.”

— Alexis Hall

149. “As long as the Beetle Drive is successful, you may go to whatever bars you please and wear whatever mammalian appendages you like.”

— Alexis Hall

150. “We awkwarded for another long moment.”

— Alexis Hall