Top 300 Alexis Hall Quotes (2025 Update)
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151. “For the record, I sounded extremely dignified when I said this. And not at all pathetic.”

— Alexis Hall

152. “I think what you’re underestimating here is how much better I can get and still be a complete disaster.”

— Alexis Hall

153. “I knew how to be a friend, a lover, a partner. I knew how to make someone feel cherished and seen and listened to – everything I had myself always so desperately wanted and been afraid I might never have because I was so used to being overlooked.”

— Alexis Hall

154. “I’m advocating taking a chance on a nice man who you’re clearly into and who’ll treat you well. And if you think that’s arson, then yay, arson.”

— Alexis Hall

155. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be. Or how I find out.”

— Alexis Hall

156. “I’d somehow lost the cornerstone of humanity: the ability to pretend, to counterfeit the basics of social interaction, to smile when you didn’t feel like smiling, to seem like you cared about other people when you lacked the capacity to care about yourself.”

— Alexis Hall

157. “Okay, I know you can’t see it, but I’m holding up the fetishisation card.” “What does that card even look like?” “It looks like two adorable men in sweaters holding hands under a rainbow.” “I thought you wanted to hold hands with an adorable man under a rainbow.” “I do, but the fact you want it almost as much as I do is what makes it creepy.”

— Alexis Hall

158. “I quietly ignored the banana.”

— Alexis Hall

159. “I cannot meet him as a stranger. But he has never known me as myself.”

— Alexis Hall

160. “I am very fond of the instructional poster on the subject of surviving a zombie apocalypse, but I feel it lacks emotional resonance.”

— Alexis Hall

161. “Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time.”

— Alexis Hall

162. “I was getting that I Am Legend feeling again, although the Legend part was especially ill-fitting. I Am Minor Folktale.”

— Alexis Hall

163. “I don’t know how to live. I never did.”

— Alexis Hall

164. “I know the feeling. Last month my valet was sick and I could barely keep it together.”

— Alexis Hall

165. “I can’t believe you’re giggling at my childhood trauma.”

— Alexis Hall

166. “A simple pun about a slightly obsolete public-sector job had turned into a debate about the long-term impacts of Thatcherism.”

— Alexis Hall

167. “What about you, old man? Have you ever sissied that walk?”

— Alexis Hall

168. “Bitter experience has taught me that you don’t engage with intellectually superior wankers who make long speeches about moral relativism.”

— Alexis Hall

169. “I want to give him everything, and the things I can’t give, I want him to take.”

— Alexis Hall

170. “The future is terrifying because it’s full of stuff, not because it’s empty.”

— Alexis Hall

171. “Eat it, motherbitches.”

— Alexis Hall

172. “I am not sure love unshown is really love at all. What good does caring for a person do if you’re never there when they need you?”

— Alexis Hall

173. “Though I’ve honestly been hoping there comes a point in your life when you stop worrying about what your parents think.”

— Alexis Hall

174. “Il problema dell’attribuire il giusto valore a qualcosa era il dolore che ne seguiva la perdita.”

— Alexis Hall

175. “I was slightly depressed that I lived the kind of life where you needed a sewer kit, but the only thing more depressing than having a sewer kit is needing a sewer kit and not having one.”

— Alexis Hall

176. “Are you attempting to convey information, or are you trying to recreate a popular Abbott and Costello routine?” “What are you talking about?” “I am sorry. I thought you may have wanted me to reply ‘I don’t know’ so that you could respond with ‘No, I don’t know’s a werewolf.’” “Elise, you can rest easy in the knowledge that I would never want you to do that.” “That, Miss Kane, is because you have no soul.”

— Alexis Hall

177. “The trees were different here, less friendly than those in the city. They gathered in unwelcoming mobs and glared angrily at the car as we passed. I suppose I could not blame them, for they were losing their homes to the roads and the bridges, and that must have been terrifying for beings that had persisted for centuries.”

— Alexis Hall

178. “God, you’re sexy when you’re being an idiot.”

— Alexis Hall

179. “Punching him would be more satisfying, but ignoring him would be more effective. Decisions, decisions.”

— Alexis Hall

180. “Isn’t that what being twenty is all about?” “Being an idiot?” “No.” She grinned, looking all impish and twinkly. “I meant, falling for unsuitable people. Breaking hearts and having your heart broken. Living the stories that are worth telling.”

— Alexis Hall

181. “But Oliver had the sort of perfect symmetry that eighteenth-century philosophers would have taken as evidence for the existence of God.”

— Alexis Hall

182. “Oliver shook both their hands with the disarming formality of a man who was professionally formal and disarming.”

— Alexis Hall

183. “Where he could be my Oliver again.”

— Alexis Hall

184. “And I was pretty sure this was how love felt: fuzzy and scary and confusing and light enough to whisk you away like a Tesco’s bag on the wind.”

— Alexis Hall

185. “Kink crowds are the same the world over. The good ones are already taken, the hot ones only talk to each other, and everyone else is desperate.”

— Alexis Hall

186. “Everybody tells you that when you’re young, you think you’ll live forever. What they don’t tell you is that when you’re old, you think the same.”

— Alexis Hall

187. “We were going to have a pleasant conversation over sherry if it killed us both.”

— Alexis Hall

188. “Thank you,” was all I could think to say. But it wasn’t just a dominance game. I meant it. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for letting it mean so much to you. Thank you for believing I’m beautiful. Thank you for making me feel so powerful. Thank you for loving me. Thank you. Thank you.”

— Alexis Hall

189. “I live in a dog biscuit factory with a feral person.”

— Alexis Hall

190. “As long as the Beetle Drive is successful, you may go to whatever bars you please and wear whatever mammalian appendages you like.”

— Alexis Hall

191. “We awkwarded for another long moment.”

— Alexis Hall

192. “If I’d been in a poetic mood, I’d have said the rain made it feel like the sky was doing our crying for us. But this was Britain. Rain was just another fact of life. Like taxes. Or the other thing.”

— Alexis Hall

193. “I don’t really get on with my mother. It’s one of those classic generational things. She’s a blood-drenched embodiment of primal hunger who keeps taking over my body and I’ve got a body I don’t want taken over. I suppose that’s what you call an impasse.”

— Alexis Hall

194. “Great. I was chained to a wall in the middle of an ancient vampire smug-off.”

— Alexis Hall

195. “I yanked the bolt out of the poor bugger’s chest, and he snapped upright like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. “Well, that was annoying. Stupid bloody professional vampire hunters.”

— Alexis Hall

196. “It was a little strange, looking down at herself. She half expected to find she had changed in some way, become wild and magical, vined in Gracewood’s caresses like a forest nymph. But no. She was skin and bone, blood and sinew, just like always.”

— Alexis Hall

197. “Darling that’s not an emergency. That’s our life now.”

— Alexis Hall

198. “Judy gave a won’t-stand-for-this-disparagement huff. ‘I beg your pardon. Being married to me is a wonderful experience. That’s why so many people have wanted to do it.”

— Alexis Hall

199. “When Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge, they learned what was good, and what was evil, and how to tell the difference. I believe we know when we do wrong. We feel it. In our hearts, our souls, our conscience. And nothing I have ever learned or known or felt has taught me to believe that love is wrong. So no, my flower, it’s not wrong.”

— Alexis Hall

200. “I had only questions, uncertainties, and shame. A kiss that was not a kiss from a man who was not a man.”

— Alexis Hall