Top 15 Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quotes (2024 Update)

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”

1. “If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “My specialty is detached malevolence.”

2. “My specialty is detached malevolence.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.”

3. “My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “I live by three rules: I eat when I’m hungry, sleep when I’m tired and scratch when I itch.”

4. “I live by three rules: I eat when I’m hungry, sleep when I’m tired and scratch when I itch.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.”

5. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.”

6. “Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “I’ve always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.”

7. “I’ve always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.”

8. “I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “You can’t make souffle rise twice.”

9. “You can’t make souffle rise twice.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.”

10. “He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.”

11. “He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.”

12. “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “I’m the only topless octogenarian in Washington.”

13. “I’m the only topless octogenarian in Washington.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.”

14. “People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quote: “The family remonstrated with me on the subject from time to time, though they never actually ordered me not to smoke. They began by requesting that I should not smoke “under their roof.” Whereat I smokedon the roof, up the chimney, out of doors, and in other houses. Then I was told not to smoke in their presence. Finally, even that lapsed, and I puffed away when and where I pleased except in public.”

15. “The family remonstrated with me on the subject from time to time, though they never actually ordered me not to smoke. They began by requesting that I should not smoke “under their roof.” Whereat I smokedon the roof, up the chimney, out of doors, and in other houses. Then I was told not to smoke in their presence. Finally, even that lapsed, and I puffed away when and where I pleased except in public.”

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

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