Top 100 Amy Sedaris Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “When you hear someone use the word ‘meds’ instead of the word ‘medicine,’ chances are they’re no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.”

— Amy Sedaris

52. “My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.”

— Amy Sedaris

53. “I’ve always been drawn to people with problems. Not just physical problems, but mental problems too. Like depressed people or killers, all that stuff.”

— Amy Sedaris

54. “How do you teach hope?”

— Amy Sedaris

55. “It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren’t really that high.”

— Amy Sedaris

56. “But I always like to play ugly people who think they’re pretty.”

— Amy Sedaris

57. “I’m more of a clown, a tragic clown. Yeah. I just like humor to come out of characters.”

— Amy Sedaris

58. “People always think I’m Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.”

— Amy Sedaris

59. “Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn’t even involve plants.”

— Amy Sedaris

60. “I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they’re bored, and you’re in a convalescent home, there’s something entertaining about that, in a way.”

— Amy Sedaris

61. “Don’t make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you’re really good, or it’s going to be really practical. If it’s a little thing you think is cute ’cause you made it, just forget it.”

— Amy Sedaris

62. “When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, ‘Why don’t you make it yourself.’ It’s like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That’s not making chocolate-chip cookies.”

— Amy Sedaris

63. “I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.”

— Amy Sedaris

64. “I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, Ill just try to listen to my friends, and theyll say the same thing over and over again.”

— Amy Sedaris

65. “I’m not very good with drink recipes. If I’m entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I’ll make for the whole evening of the whole month.”

— Amy Sedaris

66. “Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them – what’s nicer than a wall of presents to look at?”

— Amy Sedaris

67. “That’s how all theater should be done – you only have one chance to see it and then it’s gone. One night only.”

— Amy Sedaris

68. “My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.”

— Amy Sedaris

69. “Don’t answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you’re joking.”

— Amy Sedaris

70. “I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.”

— Amy Sedaris

71. “I always knew I didn’t want kids, and I didn’t want to get married.”

— Amy Sedaris

72. “If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it’s a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.”

— Amy Sedaris

73. “My characters always like themselves.”

— Amy Sedaris

74. “If I’m creating something for myself, then I want to have fun.”

— Amy Sedaris

75. “I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you’d get your supplies, and then you’d use your imagination.”

— Amy Sedaris

76. “I stayed in New York City for the first time, I’d always wanted to do that.”

— Amy Sedaris

77. “Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.”

— Amy Sedaris

78. “I like to be the one in charge of everything.”

— Amy Sedaris

79. “I can’t imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.”

— Amy Sedaris

80. “I swear I want to be a food model.”

— Amy Sedaris

81. “I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they’re attractive.”

— Amy Sedaris

82. “I like to play unattractive people who think they’re pretty. You can do what you want, but I prefer to look interesting.”

— Amy Sedaris

83. “I always got along with all types of people – popular people as well as drug addicts.”

— Amy Sedaris

84. “I like people who would rather something be discovered than shoved in your face.”

— Amy Sedaris

85. “I don’t mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I’m not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.”

— Amy Sedaris

86. “I’d rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That’s perfect for me.”

— Amy Sedaris

87. “My kitchen’s pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it’s eye level – it’s true! – and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it’s right there.”

— Amy Sedaris

88. “As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: ‘That was the best time I ever had,’ and it’s always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.”

— Amy Sedaris

89. “People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.”

— Amy Sedaris

90. “I always want to look unattractive, it’s more fun. I like playing opposites, people who aren’t attractive who think they are pretty. That’s always interesting to me.”

— Amy Sedaris

91. “I’m not a first-place person.”

— Amy Sedaris

92. “I’ve been to some funerals where there’s a lot of laughing – it’s about celebrating their new journey. I can’t think of anything. There’s humor in everything. There’s gotta be humor in everything.”

— Amy Sedaris

93. “I’m drawn to people who look different. I’m not exploiting. I’m not making fun of them. I’m drawn to them.”

— Amy Sedaris

94. “I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they’re a little naive – you made it because you needed it.”

— Amy Sedaris

95. “I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I’m gonna play a cop.”

— Amy Sedaris

96. “I like to entertain in all aspects. When you’re with somebody and you’re out, you want to be entertained.”

— Amy Sedaris

97. “I need a costume to be convinced that I’m somebody else. Otherwise, it’s just me. It’s just Amy saying lines. I haven’t really become somebody else. And what’s the fun in that?”

— Amy Sedaris

98. “Books are challenging and inspirational to me.”

— Amy Sedaris

99. “I like dramas and stuff. That’s what I watch, but it seems weird that I’d be in it.”

— Amy Sedaris

100. “I did shoplift but I didn’t get in trouble for it. I shoplifted a lot when I was little. Candy. I would steal candy.”

— Amy Sedaris