Top 25 Andrew Dice Clay Quotes (2024 Update)

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.”

1. “If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey”, I care about me.”

2. “When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey”, I care about me.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.”

3. “I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “By the time kids are 15, they’re drunks and they’re drug addicts and they’re getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, “What did I do wrong?” What you did wrong was, you were never there. You had the kid as a status symbol, that’s what went wrong. And you’re paying the price for it.”

4. “By the time kids are 15, they’re drunks and they’re drug addicts and they’re getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, “What did I do wrong?” What you did wrong was, you were never there. You had the kid as a status symbol, that’s what went wrong. And you’re paying the price for it.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it’s my way of saying what’s going on in the world. How people are animals, really.”

5. “I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it’s my way of saying what’s going on in the world. How people are animals, really.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That’s the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.”

6. “Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That’s the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.”

7. “I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I’m not the greatest husband – I’ve got a girlfriend. It doesn’t really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn’t have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she’s okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.”

8. “I’m not the greatest husband – I’ve got a girlfriend. It doesn’t really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn’t have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she’s okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “Whether you’re gay, straight, you can’t tell anybody who to love and who to marry. It’s unconstitutional and it’s morally wrong.”

9. “Whether you’re gay, straight, you can’t tell anybody who to love and who to marry. It’s unconstitutional and it’s morally wrong.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “As long as you can walk the street and you know there’s a tomorrow, there’s always that chance. That’s how I’ve always been. I’ve always had complete belief that I would make something out of myself again, because to me, it’s always been about accomplishment.”

10. “As long as you can walk the street and you know there’s a tomorrow, there’s always that chance. That’s how I’ve always been. I’ve always had complete belief that I would make something out of myself again, because to me, it’s always been about accomplishment.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I just love the whole art form of acting, of being in front of a camera and playing different things. Not that I would ever say I’m the greatest actor in the world, but I am capable of playing different kinds of roles that emotionally I could get into.”

11. “I just love the whole art form of acting, of being in front of a camera and playing different things. Not that I would ever say I’m the greatest actor in the world, but I am capable of playing different kinds of roles that emotionally I could get into.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I never go see a comic. The only one I’d ever really want to see is Don Rickles. He might be 80 years old, but he blows everyone out of the water.”

12. “I never go see a comic. The only one I’d ever really want to see is Don Rickles. He might be 80 years old, but he blows everyone out of the water.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I’ll always push myself because that’s the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it’s incredibly great and some of it’s really bad.”

13. “I’ll always push myself because that’s the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it’s incredibly great and some of it’s really bad.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I’ve been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don’t care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.”

14. “I’ve been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don’t care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, ‘I hate the rich.’ From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don’t raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.”

15. “I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, ‘I hate the rich.’ From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don’t raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.”

16. “I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Featured in: Romance Quotes

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.”

17. “I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I like real girls. When they’re in bed with you, it’s not a show. They just want to do that.”

18. “I like real girls. When they’re in bed with you, it’s not a show. They just want to do that.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “Being onstage and performing, the high of that, and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh – that’s what gets me hyped up. It’s a nervous excitement.”

19. “Being onstage and performing, the high of that, and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh – that’s what gets me hyped up. It’s a nervous excitement.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you’re playing.”

20. “Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you’re playing.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I always believed you could fix whatever problems.”

21. “I always believed you could fix whatever problems.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “Comics, as good as they might be, they didn’t know much about performance. There aren’t too many comics you could watch for an hour without getting tired. They might have good material, but it’s about theater to me.”

22. “Comics, as good as they might be, they didn’t know much about performance. There aren’t too many comics you could watch for an hour without getting tired. They might have good material, but it’s about theater to me.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I’m awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there’s no traffic. It’s almost like you own the street at night.”

23. “I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I’m awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there’s no traffic. It’s almost like you own the street at night.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I just like to make people laugh.”

24. “I just like to make people laugh.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I’m a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me.”

25. “I’m a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “You walk into my bedroom at night, it looks like a nightclub. There’s all kinds of lighting effects, there’s all kinds of music. I want them to feel like they’re in for a show. I believe in romance.”

26. “You walk into my bedroom at night, it looks like a nightclub. There’s all kinds of lighting effects, there’s all kinds of music. I want them to feel like they’re in for a show. I believe in romance.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Featured in: Romance Quotes

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “When I do any stand-up, you’re the writer, director, and producer. You’re alone.”

27. “When I do any stand-up, you’re the writer, director, and producer. You’re alone.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “I’ve always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.”

28. “I’ve always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

Andrew Dice Clay Quote: “There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that’s what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.”

29. “There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that’s what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.”

— Andrew Dice Clay

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