Top 250 Anthony de Mello Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “Love springs from awareness. It is only inasmuch as you see someone as he or she really is here and now, and not as they are in your memory or your desire or in your imagination or projection, that you can truly love them. Otherwise, it is not the person that you love but the idea that you have formed of this person, or this person as the object of your desire, not as he or she is in themselves.”

— Anthony de Mello

102. “The poor think they will be happy when they become rich. The rich think they will be happy when they are rid of their ulcers.”

— Anthony de Mello

103. “Can one be fully human without experiencing tragedy? The only tragedy there is in the world is ignorance; all evil comes from that.”

— Anthony de Mello

104. “Hardly anyone has been told the following truth: In order to be genuinely happy there is one and only one thing you need to do: get deprogrammed, get rid of those attachments.”

— Anthony de Mello

105. “A newly married couple said, “What shall we do to make our love endure?” Said the Master, “Love other things together”...”

— Anthony de Mello

106. “The butterfly in a caterpillar: the eagle in an egg; the saint in a selfish human being.”

— Anthony de Mello

107. “A good teacher offers practice, a bad one offers theories .”

— Anthony de Mello

108. “People don’t really want to grow up, people don’t really want to change, people don’t really want to be happy. As someone so wisely said to me, “Don’t try to make them happy, you’ll only get in trouble. Don’t try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it irritates the pig.”

— Anthony de Mello

109. “Sinners often speak the truth. And saints have led people astray. Examine what is said, not the one who says it.”

— Anthony de Mello

110. “Repentance brings an intense desire for God, deep gratitude, and a growth in self-awareness that increases our freedom to love.”

— Anthony de Mello

111. “The secret is to renounce nothing, cling to nothing, enjoy everything and allow it to pass, to flow.”

— Anthony de Mello

112. “See how you attempt to bring about change – both in yourself and in others – through the use of punishment and reward, through discipline and control, through sermonizing and guilt, through greed and pride, ambition and vanity, rather than through loving acceptance and patience, painstaking understanding and vigilant awareness.”

— Anthony de Mello

113. “People who deliberate fully before they take a step will spend their lives on one leg.”

— Anthony de Mello

114. “You can read books without ever stepping into a library; and practice spirituality without ever going to a temple.”

— Anthony de Mello

115. “To those who seek to protect their ego true Peace brings only disturbance.”

— Anthony de Mello

116. “The best things in life cannot be willed into being.”

— Anthony de Mello

117. “The human mind makes foolish divisions in what love sees as one.”

— Anthony de Mello

118. “In many ways we were drugged when we were young. We were brought up to need people. For what? For acceptance, approval, appreciation, applause.”

— Anthony de Mello

119. “Do you think you help people because you are in love with them? Well, I’ve got news for you. You are never in love with anyone. You’re only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Take a minute to think about that: You are never in love with anyone, you’re in love with your prejudiced idea of that person.”

— Anthony de Mello

120. “Any time you are with anyone or think of anyone you must say to yourself: I am dying and this person too is dying, attempting the while to experience the truth of the words you are saying. If every one of you agrees to practice this, bitterness will die out, harmony will arise.”

— Anthony de Mello

121. “You do not have to change for God to love you.”

— Anthony de Mello

122. “How does one cope with evil? Not by fighting it but by understanding it. In understanding, it disappears. How does one cope with darkness? Not with one’s fist. You don’t chase darkness out of the room with a broom, you turn on a light. The more you fight darkness, the more real it becomes to you, and the more you exhaust yourself. But when you turn on the light of awareness, it melts.”

— Anthony de Mello

123. “If you ever allow yourself to see it will be the death of you. And that is why love is so terrifying, for to love is to see and to see is to die. But it is the most delightful exhilarating experience in the whole world. For in the death of the ego is freedom, peace, serenity, joy.”

— Anthony de Mello

124. “Spirituality practiced in the state of activity is incomparably superior to that practiced in a state of withdrawel.”

— Anthony de Mello

125. “There is another way besides laborious self-punishment on the one hand and stagnant acceptance on the other. It is the way of self-understanding. This is far from easy because to understand what you are requires complete freedom from all desire to change what you are into something else.”

— Anthony de Mello

126. “A story is the shortest distance between a human being and truth.”

— Anthony de Mello

127. “To a woman who complained about her destiny the Master said, “It is you who make your destiny.” “But surely I am not responsible for being born a woman?” “Being born a woman isn’t destiny. That is fate. Destiny is how you accept your womanhood and what you make of it.””

— Anthony de Mello

128. “One always treads with a joyful step when one has dropped the burden called the ego.”

— Anthony de Mello

129. “There comes a point in your life when you become stark raving insane, commit suicide or become a mystic.”

— Anthony de Mello

130. “Most people don’t live aware lives. They live mechanical lives, mechanical thoughts – generally somebody else’s – mechanical emotions, mechanical actions, mechanical reactions.”

— Anthony de Mello

131. “When you’re on the verge of going insane, raving mad, you’re about to become either a psychotic or a mystic.”

— Anthony de Mello

132. “One day, a philosopher asked, “What is the purpose of creation?” “Lovemaking,” said the Master. Later, to his disciples, he said, “Before creation, love was. After creation, love was made. When love is consummated, creation will cease to be, and love will be forever.””

— Anthony de Mello

133. “Anytime you have a negative feeling toward anyone, you’re living in an illusion. There’s something seriously wrong with you. You’re not seeing reality. Something inside of you has to change. But what do we generally do when we have a negative feeling? “He is to blame, she is to blame. She’s got to change.” No! The world’s all right. The one who has to change is you.”

— Anthony de Mello

134. “Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation, as it really is and not as you imagine it to be, and to give it the response it deserves. You cannot love what you do not even see.”

— Anthony de Mello

135. “It’s only when you become love – in other words, when you have dropped your illusions and attachments – that you will “know.” As you identify less and less with the “me,” you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything.”

— Anthony de Mello

136. “What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head. As well.”

— Anthony de Mello

137. “You can will an act of service but you cannot will love.”

— Anthony de Mello

138. “You’ve got to drop something. You’ve got to drop illusions. You don’t have to add anything in order to be happy; you’ve got to drop something. Life is easy, life is delightful. It’s only hard on your illusions, your ambitions, your greed, your cravings.”

— Anthony de Mello

139. “Take away human beings from this planet and life would go on, nature would go on in all its loveliness and violence. Where would the problem be? No problem. You created the problem. You are the problem. You identified with “me” and that is the problem. The feeling is in you, not in reality.”

— Anthony de Mello

140. “Like the little girl who says to a little boy, “Are you a Presbyterian?” And he says, “No, we belong to another abomination!”

— Anthony de Mello

141. “You’re so ashamed of your past; drop it! You’re so proud of your past; drop it!”

— Anthony de Mello

142. “Negative feelings are in you, not in reality. So stop trying to change reality. That’s crazy! Stop trying to change the other person.”

— Anthony de Mello

143. “God went mad out of love for us. Then we must be very lovely. What we have stressed in the past is how lovely God must be that he can love us like this. But nobody has yet said how lovely we must be, that God could fall for us like this. Both are true.”

— Anthony de Mello

144. “Most people tell you they want to get out of kindergarten, but don’t believe them. Don’t believe them! All they want you to do is to mend their broken toys. “Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success.” This is what they want; they want their toys replaced. That’s all. Even the best psychologist will tell you that, that people don’t really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.”

— Anthony de Mello

145. “The root of evil is within you. As you begin to understand this, you stop making demands on yourself, you stop having expectations of yourself, you stop pushing yourself and you understand. Nourish yourself on wholesome food, good wholesome food. I’m not talking about actual food, I’m talking about sunsets, about nature, about a good movie, about a good book, about enjoyable work, about good company, and hopefully you will break your addictions to those other feelings.”

— Anthony de Mello

146. “Of what use is it to be tolerant of others if you are convinced that you are right and everyone who disagrees with you is wrong? That isn’t tolerance but condescension.”

— Anthony de Mello

147. “To relate is to react. To react is to understand oneself. To understand oneself is to be enlightened. Relationships are schools for enlightenment.”

— Anthony de Mello

148. “You’re never so centered on yourself as when you’re depressed.”

— Anthony de Mello

149. “The first reaction is one of fear. It’s not that we fear the unknown. You cannot fear something that you do not know. Nobody is afraid of the unknown. What you really fear is the loss of the known. That’s what you fear.”

— Anthony de Mello

150. “The spiritual quest is a journey without distance. You travel from where you are right now to where you have always been. From ignorance to recognition, for all you do is see for the first time what you have always been looking at. Who ever heard of a path that brings you to yourself or a method that makes you what you have always been? Spirituality, after all, is only a matter of becoming what you really are.”

— Anthony de Mello