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Top 30 Barbara Deming Quotes (2025 Update)

Barbara Deming Quote: “The longer we listen to one another – with real attention – the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.”

1. “The longer we listen to one another – with real attention – the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Our own pulse beats in every stranger’s throat.”

2. “Our own pulse beats in every stranger’s throat.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “We cannot live without our lives.”

3. “We cannot live without our lives.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Vengeance is not the point: change is.”

4. “Vengeance is not the point: change is.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “A liberation movement that is nonviolent sets the oppressor free as well as the oppressed.”

5. “A liberation movement that is nonviolent sets the oppressor free as well as the oppressed.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “All prisons that have existed in our society to date put people away as no human being should ever be put away.”

6. “All prisons that have existed in our society to date put people away as no human being should ever be put away.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change. I think, in fact, that one could give that as a definition of revolution.”

7. “Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change. I think, in fact, that one could give that as a definition of revolution.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people’s minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.”

8. “Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people’s minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “We learn best to listen to our own voices if we are listening at the same time to other women-whose stories, for all our differences, turn out, if we listen well, to be our stories also.”

9. “We learn best to listen to our own voices if we are listening at the same time to other women-whose stories, for all our differences, turn out, if we listen well, to be our stories also.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek.”

10. “To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Punishment cannot heal spirits, can only break them.”

11. “Punishment cannot heal spirits, can only break them.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Gandhi once declared that it was his wife who unwittingly taught him the effectiveness of nonviolence. Who better than women should know that battles can be won without resort to physical strength? Who better than we should know all the power that resides in noncooperation?”

12. “Gandhi once declared that it was his wife who unwittingly taught him the effectiveness of nonviolence. Who better than women should know that battles can be won without resort to physical strength? Who better than we should know all the power that resides in noncooperation?”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “People who attack others need rationalizations for doing so. We undermine those rationalizations.”

13. “People who attack others need rationalizations for doing so. We undermine those rationalizations.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “People may find it more comfortable to listen to us if we equivocate, but in the long run only words that discomfort them are going to change our situation.”

14. “People may find it more comfortable to listen to us if we equivocate, but in the long run only words that discomfort them are going to change our situation.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Think first of the action that is right to take, think later about coping with one’s fears.”

15. “Think first of the action that is right to take, think later about coping with one’s fears.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice. It can in effect force them to consult their consciences.”

16. “Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice. It can in effect force them to consult their consciences.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “I learned always to trust my own deep sense of what I should do, and not just obediently trust the judgment of others – even others better than I am.”

17. “I learned always to trust my own deep sense of what I should do, and not just obediently trust the judgment of others – even others better than I am.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “There should be no censorship of mail.”

18. “There should be no censorship of mail.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “The point is to change one’s life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one; the point is so to act that one can master them now.”

19. “The point is to change one’s life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one; the point is so to act that one can master them now.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “The injunction that we should love our neighbors as ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves as we love our neighbors.”

20. “The injunction that we should love our neighbors as ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves as we love our neighbors.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf men not naturally inclined to act for us.”

21. “Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf men not naturally inclined to act for us.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “This is the heart of my argument: We can put more pressure on the antagonist for whom we show human concern.”

22. “This is the heart of my argument: We can put more pressure on the antagonist for whom we show human concern.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “After the revolution, let us hope, prisons simply would not exist – if by prisons we mean places that could be experienced by the men and women in them at all as every place that goes by that name now is bound to be experienced.”

23. “After the revolution, let us hope, prisons simply would not exist – if by prisons we mean places that could be experienced by the men and women in them at all as every place that goes by that name now is bound to be experienced.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “The free man must be born before freedom can be won, and the brotherly man must be born before full brotherhood can be won. It will come into being only if we build it out of our very muscle and bone – by trying to act it out.”

24. “The free man must be born before freedom can be won, and the brotherly man must be born before full brotherhood can be won. It will come into being only if we build it out of our very muscle and bone – by trying to act it out.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “After the revolution, it might very well remain necessary to place people where they could not do harm to others. But the one under restraint should be cut off from the rest of society as little as possible.”

25. “After the revolution, it might very well remain necessary to place people where they could not do harm to others. But the one under restraint should be cut off from the rest of society as little as possible.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Surely all of us are nerved by one another, catch courage from one another.”

26. “Surely all of us are nerved by one another, catch courage from one another.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “It is one thing to be able to state the price the antagonist paid, another to be able to count you own real gains.”

27. “It is one thing to be able to state the price the antagonist paid, another to be able to count you own real gains.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Of course it can be said of jails, too, that they try – by punishing the troublesome – to deter others. No doubt, in certain instances this deterrence actually works. But generally speaking it fails conspicuously.”

28. “Of course it can be said of jails, too, that they try – by punishing the troublesome – to deter others. No doubt, in certain instances this deterrence actually works. But generally speaking it fails conspicuously.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “Let me be really here, here in this place and this time where I am.”

29. “Let me be really here, here in this place and this time where I am.”

— Barbara Deming

Barbara Deming Quote: “A great many of us must move from words to acts – from words of dissent to acts of disobedience.”

30. “A great many of us must move from words to acts – from words of dissent to acts of disobedience.”

— Barbara Deming

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