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Top 60 Bauvard Quotes (2024 Update)
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Bauvard Quote: “Some people won’t have kids, but I’m not going to have parents. I’m burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight.”
Bauvard Quote: “Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?”
Bauvard Quote: “Don’t take drugs. Asking politely promotes healthy stereotypes.”
Bauvard Quote: “Be true to your divided selves. They’re the only ones who will support you in moments of vacillation.”
Bauvard Quote: “It’s best to only exercise when the air conditioning is working properly outside. A strong wind ensures one doesn’t sweat very much.”
Bauvard Quote: “The only way to tell a fable is to introduce a human. The only way to tell a proverb is to introduce your grandfather.”
Bauvard Quote: “After all else, there’s more yet: I don’t know what, though.”
Bauvard Quote: “The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.”
Bauvard Quote: “Performance enhancements are most impressive when used by that sedentary athlete, the videogamer. After he turns to hitchhiking in disgrace, his giant thumbs can take him anywhere.”
Bauvard Quote: “The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on prime-time networks, but not nearly enough cable television on public programming.”
Bauvard Quote: “Aping the lower class will only lead to fatherless children, unusable muscles, and the fear of tomorrow’s sobriety.”
Bauvard Quote: “A ransom note, the true test of unconditional love.”
Bauvard Quote: “Privatization will always be a timid ideology as long as architects are allowed to unveil their buildings.”
Bauvard Quote: “Rioter: a person who wants dinner, and needs a TV to eat it with.”
Bauvard Quote: “I have never sought to displease; I merely seek pleasure and avoid the pain it causes those who work to produce it. That is what it means to live by the leisure principle.”
Bauvard Quote: “The French: a people who have used their sophisticated culture and beautiful language to bequeath to the world the sliced potato.”
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