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Top 20 Betsy Schow Quotes (2025 Update)

Betsy Schow Quote: “You never know what you’re gonna find when you look under those covers – grandma or the wolf.”

1. “You never know what you’re gonna find when you look under those covers – grandma or the wolf.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “True love is like a stalactite meeting a stalagmite. Complete opposites, but with time, calcium, and a healthy drip system, they meet in the middle. Or one crushes the other. It really depends.”

2. “True love is like a stalactite meeting a stalagmite. Complete opposites, but with time, calcium, and a healthy drip system, they meet in the middle. Or one crushes the other. It really depends.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “The first step to healing is admitting you have a problem. Say it with me, ‘Yes, these are my flying monkeys, and this is my circus.”

3. “The first step to healing is admitting you have a problem. Say it with me, ‘Yes, these are my flying monkeys, and this is my circus.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Hope is like a balloon. It seems like it swells up just so someone else can pop it in your face.”

4. “Hope is like a balloon. It seems like it swells up just so someone else can pop it in your face.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Girl of Emerald, no man can tame. Burn down the world, consumed by flames.”

5. “Girl of Emerald, no man can tame. Burn down the world, consumed by flames.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Our family became spelled after my ancestor pixed off two evil witch sisters. The witches’ curse was supposed to doom my great- great- great grandmother to turn evil and torch the world – except the spell wasn’t worded right. It didn’t spec-ify which Emerald princess. So ever since, all the girls in the Emerald family have been stuck inside, since there’s no way to know what generation will inherit the curse.”

6. “Our family became spelled after my ancestor pixed off two evil witch sisters. The witches’ curse was supposed to doom my great- great- great grandmother to turn evil and torch the world – except the spell wasn’t worded right. It didn’t spec-ify which Emerald princess. So ever since, all the girls in the Emerald family have been stuck inside, since there’s no way to know what generation will inherit the curse.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Because a cage is still a cage, no matter how big or glittering the bars are.”

7. “Because a cage is still a cage, no matter how big or glittering the bars are.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “You never know what you’re gonna find under those covers – Grandma or the wolf.” Little Red, excerpt from Tales From the Hood.”

8. “You never know what you’re gonna find under those covers – Grandma or the wolf.” Little Red, excerpt from Tales From the Hood.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Snark is a fabulous defense mechanism.”

9. “Snark is a fabulous defense mechanism.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Thank you for cracking open the barrier, by the way. I’ve been meaning to stop by for ages but never had the chance until now. It’s such a shame I have to kill you. You would have made an excellent villain. After all, you’ve caused more damage in one afternoon than most henchmen do in a lifetime. And I didn’t touch your parents. The blame for their loss lies squarely on your shoulders.” She punctuated the your by pointing the mirror in my direction.”

10. “Thank you for cracking open the barrier, by the way. I’ve been meaning to stop by for ages but never had the chance until now. It’s such a shame I have to kill you. You would have made an excellent villain. After all, you’ve caused more damage in one afternoon than most henchmen do in a lifetime. And I didn’t touch your parents. The blame for their loss lies squarely on your shoulders.” She punctuated the your by pointing the mirror in my direction.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Though all the major fairy tale families were coming tonight, I wouldn’t exactly call any of them friends. Aside from the once-a-year gathering, I never spoke to any of them, except the occasional chat on Flitter with Cinderella, since we shared a love of designer footwear.”

11. “Though all the major fairy tale families were coming tonight, I wouldn’t exactly call any of them friends. Aside from the once-a-year gathering, I never spoke to any of them, except the occasional chat on Flitter with Cinderella, since we shared a love of designer footwear.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Surely it could not be the same party. It looked like a warzone. The floating chandelier had crashed and shattered on the dance floor, freeing the now- dark floating orbs. People ran madly for the exit. Some were being chased by pickax-wielding dwarves, to say nothing of the ogres. The floor was littered with frogs. Hopefully they weren’t enchanted princes, because some of them were getting squished by the mob.”

12. “Surely it could not be the same party. It looked like a warzone. The floating chandelier had crashed and shattered on the dance floor, freeing the now- dark floating orbs. People ran madly for the exit. Some were being chased by pickax-wielding dwarves, to say nothing of the ogres. The floor was littered with frogs. Hopefully they weren’t enchanted princes, because some of them were getting squished by the mob.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “That’s the thing about love: the best kind isn’t easy of instant, and you often get roughed up a bit on the way.”

13. “That’s the thing about love: the best kind isn’t easy of instant, and you often get roughed up a bit on the way.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “No need to panic. I was the heroine in this story, so everything would get fixed somehow.”

14. “No need to panic. I was the heroine in this story, so everything would get fixed somehow.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “An ill-worded wish is worse than a curse...”

15. “An ill-worded wish is worse than a curse...”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Morning people should have to live in their own country, or something, and not bother the rest of us” – Dorthea.”

16. “Morning people should have to live in their own country, or something, and not bother the rest of us” – Dorthea.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “No way. I would rather lick a toad. I would let a wicked old hag bake me into gingerbread before I married this son of a bas-ilisk who had the gall to look amused while I hyperventilated.”

17. “No way. I would rather lick a toad. I would let a wicked old hag bake me into gingerbread before I married this son of a bas-ilisk who had the gall to look amused while I hyperventilated.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “I’m an intern with the Union of Fairy Godmothers...”

18. “I’m an intern with the Union of Fairy Godmothers...”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “All the trouble stemmed from my body image issues. I just couldn’t escape the mirror. It lied; the reflection I saw of myself was horrifying.” – Wicked Queen, Shattered Reflections.”

19. “All the trouble stemmed from my body image issues. I just couldn’t escape the mirror. It lied; the reflection I saw of myself was horrifying.” – Wicked Queen, Shattered Reflections.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “A ferocious growl drew my gaze to the back of the room, where a hairy beast wore a yellow ball gown. I tried to block out the memory of Beauty in that dress earlier this evening.”

20. “A ferocious growl drew my gaze to the back of the room, where a hairy beast wore a yellow ball gown. I tried to block out the memory of Beauty in that dress earlier this evening.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “There’s really nothing to fear but fear itself. And trolls. Fear and trolls. Oh, and I guess gigans and dragons too. And can’t forget wicked witches. Yeah, I guess there really is a lot to fear.”

21. “There’s really nothing to fear but fear itself. And trolls. Fear and trolls. Oh, and I guess gigans and dragons too. And can’t forget wicked witches. Yeah, I guess there really is a lot to fear.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “True, but one makes you a monster. The other one just makes you an idiot. Which one is it?”

22. “True, but one makes you a monster. The other one just makes you an idiot. Which one is it?”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “Verte was the kingdom’s head sorceress, oracle, palace grump, and the only reason I hadn’t died of sheer boredom... One time, I blew up her caudron trying to make soup. In retaliation, she sent me a billy goat that ate my entire closet’s contents.”

23. “Verte was the kingdom’s head sorceress, oracle, palace grump, and the only reason I hadn’t died of sheer boredom... One time, I blew up her caudron trying to make soup. In retaliation, she sent me a billy goat that ate my entire closet’s contents.”

— Betsy Schow

Betsy Schow Quote: “There is nothing in there that doesn’t deserve to get burned.”

24. “There is nothing in there that doesn’t deserve to get burned.”

— Betsy Schow

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