Top 80 Bette Midler Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “GOD is watching us, from a Distance...”

— Bette Midler

Featured in: Distance Quotes

2. “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

— Bette Midler

3. “I want it all – and I would like it delivered.”

— Bette Midler

4. “Just remember, during the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, that there’s a seed that with the sun’s love in the spring becomes a rose.”

— Bette Midler

5. “Find your Light; They can’t love you if they can’t see you.”

— Bette Midler

6. “I sold my soul to rock and roll.”

— Bette Midler

7. “Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed.”

— Bette Midler

Featured in: Broken Heart Quotes

8. “My whole life has been spent waiting for an epiphany, a manifestation of God’s presence, the kind of transcendent, magical experience that let’s you see your place in the big picture. And that is what I had with my first compost heap.”

— Bette Midler

Featured in: Firsts Quotes

9. “It’s the one who won’t be taken that cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.”

— Bette Midler

10. “Enough about me. What do you think about me?”

— Bette Midler

11. “It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.”

— Bette Midler

12. “People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.”

— Bette Midler

13. “I have my standards. They’re low, but I have them.”

— Bette Midler

14. “People have an obligation to live up to their potential.”

— Bette Midler

15. “If you can accept your differentness and learn to love it and encourage it, then you can be someone wonderful.”

— Bette Midler

16. “If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?”

— Bette Midler

17. “I love nature, in spite of what it did to me.”

— Bette Midler

18. “Self-esteem is something you have to earn! The only way to achieve self-esteem is to work hard. People have an obligation to live up to their potential.”

— Bette Midler

19. “Cherish forever what makes you unique, ’cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.”

— Bette Midler

20. “The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.”

— Bette Midler

21. “I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.”

— Bette Midler

22. “Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.”

— Bette Midler

23. “The outside world doesn’t have a lot to offer. You have to make your own heaven in your own home.”

— Bette Midler

24. “If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.”

— Bette Midler

25. “I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!”

— Bette Midler

26. “I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.”

— Bette Midler

27. “A lot of people have no access to beauty. When I was growing up, my mother had only a few pretty things to look at.”

— Bette Midler

28. “If I don’t feel right about what I’m in, I don’t feel right about anything.”

— Bette Midler

29. “I’m working my way toward divinity.”

— Bette Midler

30. “I wouldn’t say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.”

— Bette Midler

31. “I feel like a million tonight – but one at a time.”

— Bette Midler

32. “When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.”

— Bette Midler

33. “Make sure your life is a rare entertainment! It doesn’t take anything drastic. You needn’t be gorgeous or wealthy or smart, just very enthusiastic!”

— Bette Midler

34. “Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.”

— Bette Midler

35. “I always try to balance the light with the heavy – a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.”

— Bette Midler

36. “If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.”

— Bette Midler

37. “I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.”

— Bette Midler

38. “I read neither good nor bad about me. I let it not even in my life, so it has no effect on me. I am very sensitive.”

— Bette Midler

39. “I’m so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you’ve been-what’s the word?-oh yes: ‘fired.’”

— Bette Midler

40. “I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It’s helped me a lot.”

— Bette Midler

41. “After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.”

— Bette Midler

42. “If you’re passionate about something, then you should pick up your flag and run with it.”

— Bette Midler

43. “Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.”

— Bette Midler

44. “My parents taught me: Do not rely on a man. Not rely on it that you get married and it pays for you. That’s what I figured. I have always paid my own bills.”

— Bette Midler

45. “Total contentment is only for cows.”

— Bette Midler

46. “I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.”

— Bette Midler

47. “I can get plenty of men, keeping them is the hard part.”

— Bette Midler

48. “When you have a steady job you’re more inspired to broaden yourself.”

— Bette Midler

49. “If you wants something done, you’d better do it yourself – or ask another woman to do it.”

— Bette Midler

50. “The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.”

— Bette Midler